“What is a Proverbs 31 Woman?”
Chances are, if you’re a Christian woman, you already have some sort of idea.
The subject of countless Mother’s Day sermons, women’s Bible studies, Christian blogs for women, and Christian women’s ministries (such as Proverbs 31 Ministries), the Proverbs 31 Woman (also known as “the Virtuous Woman”) certainly gets her fair share of attention.
And it’s not difficult to see why, either. I mean, you have to hand it to her…
The epitome of what it means to be a Godly woman, the Proverbs 31 Virtuous Woman certainly gives us a lofty ideal to live up to.
She’s smart, she’s strong, she’s capable… She rises at dawn and her lamp does not go out at night… Her husband has full confidence in her and her children rise up and call her blessed…
She’s everything the modern Christian woman could want to be and more. She has it all, she does it all, and she even gets her own chapter in the Bible to tell the rest of us how wonderful she is (not to mention the literally millions of articles on thousands of websites for Christian women).
It’s enough to give any Christian woman serious comparison envy.
I suppose it should come as no surprise, then, that reactions to this Proverbs Woman are mixed.
While some modern Christians idealize her, working hard to live up to her inspiring example of how to be a Godly woman, others read Proverbs 31 and feel like a failure, wondering how they could possibly measure up and if they should even try.
Meanwhile, other Christians pretty much ignore the Proverbs 31 woman, assuming that the Bible passage doesn’t apply to them for whatever reason (whether that’s because they aren’t a wife or a mother, or simply because the passage is thousands of years old).
Personally, I spent a lot of years ignoring the Proverbs 31 woman.
Sure, I had read about the Proverbs 31 woman in the Bible at some point or another; it just wasn’t a topic I devoted a lot of time and attention to. I figured: She was perfect. There was no way I could measure up. And I didn’t need the pressure of trying to conform my life to some out-dated, old-fashioned B.C. ideal.
(Not that I think the Bible is outdated — I don’t. I just wasn’t interested in forcing my life to fit the expectations of an entirely different culture and time.)
After reading yet another blog post about the Proverbs 31 Virtuous Woman, however, I eventually caved.
After all, I’d been reading so many articles about this Proverbs Woman, so many people’s opinions of the Proverbs 31 Virtuous Woman…
When was the last time I read for myself what the Bible says about the Proverbs 31 Woman? When was the last time I actually read about the Proverbs 31 Woman in the Bible? What is a Proverbs 31 Woman really?
So I decided to do just that. (And then I read some more books and articles too) And what I found surprised me…
Guess what! This post is part of a series on Great Women of the Bible.
Be sure to check out all of the other posts in this series here: 15 Great Women of the Bible Every Christian Woman Should Study.
We are studying great women of the Bible including Esther and Eve, so you’ll definitely want to check them out!
6 Surprising Facts About the Virtuous Proverbs 31 Woman
“A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.”
–Proverbs 31:10
Here’s what I found (it may surprise you too!)
1. Proverbs 31 is Written to a Man — Not a Woman
It’s interesting to note: When Christian women read the Bible verses about the Proverbs 31 woman today, we typically start in verse 10, where the NIV Bible breaks up the text with the subheading: “Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character.”
We tend to totally skip over the first 9 verses in the chapter… which set the stage for the portion of the Proverbs 31 passage that we’re most familiar with.
But if we go back a few verses to Proverbs 31:1, where the chapter opens, you’ll find that this passage is actually written to a man (King Lemuel), not to Christian women as a whole:
“The sayings of King Lemuel—an inspired utterance his mother taught him.” — Proverbs 31:1
And furthermore, God didn’t speak these words Himself to women everywhere (although all of Scripture is inspired by God). Rather, they are words of advice spoken to King Lemuel by his mother as advice to her son (not to her daughter(s) or to daughters everywhere).
And here’s why that’s important…
2. Proverbs 31 is One Woman’s Motherly Advice — Not an Overarching Prescription
Have you ever heard of the acronym for B.I.B.L.E.? Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth? It’s pretty catchy. Easy to remember. I like it. But unfortunately, it’s not entirely accurate.
Because while there are many, many verses of instructions for Godly living in the Bible, not every Bible verse is a command or instruction. And while we can absolutely benefit from every verse in the Bible, not every verse in the Bible was written to or about us. (And honestly, it’s pretty self-centered to think that they would be.)
“Listen, my son! Listen, son of my womb!
Listen, my son, the answer to my prayers!
Do not spend your strength on women,
your vigor on those who ruin kings.”
–Proverbs 31:2-3
Proverbs 31 was not written to Christian wives to instruct them in how to “measure up.” It was written for a man to inspire him for what type of woman to look for. (A virtuous woman)
Read in context, the mother is basically telling her son: “Don’t make bad choices. Don’t get drunk. Don’t chase women. Treat others well, and find yourself a good, Godly woman. Here’s what that looks like.”
NOT: “Christian women, you must do EVERY SINGLE ONE of these things to measure up.”
* Related: 5 Things the Bible is Not
*This post contains affiliate links, which means if you make a purchase through my links, I may earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. This helps cover the many costs of running this site and allows me to help provide for my growing family. Thank you!
3. In the Jewish Culture, Proverbs 31 is a Song of Praise (“Woman of Valor!”)
Have you ever read A Year of Biblical Womanhood by Rachel Held Evans? While I don’t necessarily agree with 100% of her theology, the book was a very interesting read, and I especially appreciated how diligently she worked to seek out more of the Jewish context behind the Old Testament passages we still read today.
For example: As Rachel shares in her blog post, 3 Things You Might Not Know About the Proverbs 31 Woman:
“I first learned this from my Jewish friend Ahava who told me that in her culture, it’s not the women who memorize Proverbs 31, but the men… They memorize it, Ahava said, to sing it as a song of praise to the women in their lives—their wives, daughters, sisters, mothers, and friends. Ahava’s husband sings Proverbs 31 to her at every Sabbath meal. “
Plus, not only do Jewish men use Proverbs 31 to sing praises over their wives for being such wonderful Godly women, but Jewish women also use the passage to praise each other as well!
According to Rachel’s newfound Jewish friends, the phrase “a virtuous woman who can find?” (Proverbs 31:10) comes from the Hebrew word “eshet chayil,” which can be translated as “woman of valor.”
So Jewish women will praise each other with a hearty “eshet chayil!” as a way of saying “You go girl! You’re awesome! Woman of valor!”
I love that!
4. The Virtuous Woman is an Allegorical Character, Not a Real Person
It’s also important to remember: While scholars aren’t in 100% agreement, the Proverbs 31 woman likely was not real. Rather she is simply a compilation of the best traits of Godly women as a whole.
In fact, if you read through the entire book of Proverbs, you meet three other allegorical characters first: Wisdom, Folly and the Adultress. No one considers those 3 women to be real people, and the Proverbs 31 woman probably isn’t either. Rather, she completes the set. (Wisdom and Folly go together; the Adultress and the Wife of Noble Character do too. Pretty neat how that works out.)
You can’t be a trophy wife, the perfect mom, a successful entrepreneur and a crafty DIY mama all at the same time? You’re not perfect? You mess up sometimes? lol. Welcome to the club! None of us are. We aren’t meant to be.
(And even if the Virtuous Woman WAS a real person, the text seems to indicate she wasn’t a young mom with little ones at home, but an older woman with years of experience. And also that she didn’t do ALL of the things all at the same time. Proverbs 31 is simply the highlight reel of the BEST things she did in various seasons over the course of her entire life.)
“She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.”–Proverbs 31:17
5. The Virtuous Woman Isn’t Weak, Passive or the Family Maid
Another thing I noticed right away when I read Proverbs 31 in the Bible is that the Virtuous Woman isn’t a weak, passive pushover at all!
I feel like, oftentimes, we women get so hung up on submission, thinking that in order to be a good Christian wife, we have to be quiet, keep all of our opinions to ourselves, and just let our husbands do whatever they want, even when our husbands make decisions we don’t agree with.
(Not saying we DO that successfully; just that we feel like that’s what’s expected of us…)
But if you look at the Proverbs 31 Woman, she is confident, capable and self-assured. Her husband goes off to the city gate (where he’s a respected elder), and he’s totally confident in her to take care of everything while he’s away.
The Scriptures tell us, “Her husband has full confidence in her,” “She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard,” and “she is clothed with strength and dignity.”
She honors her husband. She reflects well on him. But she’s still her own person with her own skills, strengths, and abilities, not just the family maid.
How often do we think that the Proverbs 31 Woman is the perfect example of the perfect wife and the perfect mom? But count how many times her family is actually mentioned.
A full HALF (11) of the verses in this passage are about how hard she works–both inside and outside of the home. While only four even mention her husband, and her kids are only mentioned once!
And look at the end — Does it say “Honor her for what a calm and gentle mother she is,” or “Honor her because she is super crafty while still managing to keep her house spotless?” Nope.
It says: “Honor her for all that her hands have done.”
She’s her own person with her own unique, God-given talents and abilities that DON’T all revolve around her family.
6. There’s More Than One Way to Be a Virtuous Woman
Remember earlier how I said the phrase “a virtuous woman who can find?” (Proverbs 31:10) comes from the Hebrew word “eshet chayil,” which can be translated as “woman of valor?”
Well, as it turns out, Proverbs 31 isn’t the only place “eshet chayil” is mentioned in the Bible. According to this article by Rachel Held Evans, you can also find it in Ruth 3:11, where Boaz tells Ruth:
“And now, my daughter, don’t be afraid. I will do for you all you ask. All the people of my town know that you are a woman of noble character.”
How often do we, as Christian women, assume that, if we want to be amazing Godly women, we HAVE to be wives, mothers and homemakers? That something is wrong with us if we’re not? (Or something is wrong with us if we’re not very good wives or mothers.)
Well, guess what. Ruth’s life looked NOTHING like the Virtuous Woman’s life.
- She didn’t have servants. She was so poor she had to go glean the leftovers in Boaz’s fields.
- She wasn’t a wife. She wasn’t a mom. Her husband died without giving her children, leaving her a widow.
- She had next to no money or resources to her name. No one would have envied her life.
And yet, Boaz saw her and called her an “eshet chayil” — a woman of valor. Because that’s exactly what she was.
And you know what? You can be a woman of valor too.
Not by being the Proverbs 31 Woman. She’s not real anyways. But by being the amazing Godly woman God created YOU to be!
Not a wife? Not a mom? Mess up all the time? (Yeah, we all mess up all the time.) That’s okay.
Instead of feeling discouraged, let’s be inspired! We can all be Proverbs 31 Women — imperfections and all. 😊
Sign me up!
* Other fantastic articles on the Proverbs 31 Virtuous woman: The Proverbs 31 Woman: Don’t Be Intimidated. Be Inspired and The Proverbs 31 Woman—10 Myths Explained
Do you ever feel pressure to be someone you aren’t–whether it’s the Proverbs 31 Woman or the perfect Pinteresty mom? How do you overcome these feelings?
Brittany
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This is wonderful. I really need to keep this in mind and have it saved for one of those “I am such a failure days” Thank you.
You’re welcome. And I hope those days are few and far between!
Hi! I am a 30 year old Catholic wife and mommy of a two year old! I just wanted to say that you are awesome and I love your blog!
Awww, well thank you and nice to “meet” you!
Oh, I love this post so much! I have never understood why people use passage to push perfection on women. I think the key is she is NOT real.
The biggest passage I hear quoted in the working vs. staying home debate is Titus 2:4, not necessarily this one.
Yeah, I’ve heard that one quoted too, but decided to leave that discussion for another day 🙂 Debunking this mythical Proverbs 31 that people seem to have created was enough for one post! lol
Thank you so much for this! I’ll go back to my SAHM day with less guilt… and I’ll just keep doing my best, trusting my great Lord to take care of the rest.
Yes! Less guilt is always a good thing! Have a great day 🙂
I simply LOVE this post! It’s so true that women often get hung up on perfection and I laughed out loud at how you thought this should frame your wall. I used to think the P31 woman was perfection I could never attain, yet I love your interpretation of this famous passage. And I completely agree that the old argument about working mom vs. SAHM needs to just disappear! Thanks for sharing at the Sat. Soiree! You’re featured this week!
Yay!! Thanks for the feature!! I’ll have to remember to stop by tonight for sure (your link-up goes live on Friday nights, right?)
I thought this was a great post Brittany but I would respectfully disagree that she was not real. She may or may not have been…we do not know. She is one of many Biblical women who are our guide.
Well, okay. She *may* have been real, but given the tone of Proverbs with the personification of Wisdom, etc, my best guess is that she’s not. And even if she was, she’s still a 2-dimensional character. We only know a few things about her, but we don’t really *know* her. She may have been a horrible cook or had stinky breath for all we know–so no reason to over-idealize as some people do 🙂
I’ve always thought the Proverbs 31 woman’s husband was a bit of a tosser. She’s toiling from before the sun comes up to after the sun sets while he gets to sit around at the front gate and gossip with the other guys. Who’d want to be married to a guy like that?
I love the story of Martha and Mary. I especially like the KJV which says “Mary hath chosen that good part.” The NIV version calls Mary’s part the “better” part and I like how that judgement isn’t there in KJV. “Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things” – Christ is praising Martha for her efforts – “But one thing is needful; and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.” It’s okay to pursue our own interests. It’s okay to take time for ourselves. It’s okay to slack off a bit on the housework, so that we may choose “that good part which shall not be taken away from” us – whether that be creating something beautiful, or studying, or reading a book ‘just because.’ Our lives are not meant to be drudgery; we are meant to edify ourselves and to put that on equal standing with serving others. It’s a beautiful passage.
LOL, I would be annoyed if my husband just sat around chatting all day too! But if I understand correctly, I think it was actually an esteemed position. It says she makes him look good, not that she makes him look like a loser 🙂
I left my job in May and have been searching for myself since then. I had the longest To-Do List when I began this new chapter… truth is as much as I have done the List isn’t really any shorter! Thanks for your thoughts. I want to be a good wife, but oh, the pressure! Trying to be a better person in God’s eyes is the most important thing I can strive to be right now. My husband is supportive and understanding and to heck with all the (supposedly) perfect women out there! Thanks!!
Perhaps what you need isn’t a to-do list at all, but some time of quiet solitude spent in prayer and reflection? Maybe some clearing your head might do you some good? Just a suggestion!
Brittany I love this… its easy to forget that she is NOT real. Striving for all of these is hard and I’m thankful for bloggers like you to point out that life does in fact have gray areas.
Thanks, Amanda 🙂 No need for perfection. That’s God’s job.
I have always thought that the P31 woman is actually a collection of the best attributes of many women. For me this part “but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised ” carries the most weight. Whatever we do, as long as it is in line with the will of God then it is good.
Exactly. That’s what it all boils down to–following the will of God. It’s figuring out what exactly that entails that is the difficult part!
I’m a single woman. Sometimes I feel like a failure… But you remind me that just like all the scriptures in the bible for the perfect Godly man, we cannot match up to this scripture. Should we try? Of course. Will we fail? Yes. But it doesn’t mean we are not worthy of love or praise. Thank you.
Awww… there’s definitely no need to be perfect. That’s God’s job–not yours. And on a related note–perhaps you’ll find this article encouraging as well? Three Truths to Remember When You Feel Like a Failure
This is awesome. I have never heard of the Proverbs 31 woman before, but I have felt the pressure to be perfect. And holy. And how somehow I must do both to be both. But I’m neither, I’m just trying. I loved everything you wrote. Thank you!
I definitely know what you mean about the pressure to be perfect! Thankfully, we aren’t perfect and we aren’t supposed to be–that’s God’s job, not ours. Perhaps you might find this article helpful as well? Three Truths to Remember When You Feel Like a Failure. And thanks 🙂
Amen! Great perspective! 🙂
Thanks, Jen!
Hi Brittany,
i fully agree with you that she is not real, but I do think she is someone to be inspired by. I love this passage and I just quickly want to share 3 aspects of this passage that rung very true when I read it. Proverbs 31 starts by saying that a mother of a king called Lemeul gave him the following advice and that this is the type of women he should look for as a king. I think the mother is very wise and as a mother of 2 daughters these are the characteristics I would love for us women in my household to develop. I also think mothers of boys should spend some time giving them advice on the type of women they must court. Especially with emphasis on the character of the lady.
Throughout Proverbs wisdom is portrayed as a wise women so this passage is a great analogy for wisdom and how in every day life wisdom would live life. Like a women who knows exactly what is necessary for her house and goes out to DO that.
The third thing I love about this passage is that as a king’s wife she is the one that makes him look good and she looks after her household and her house, but she is also a manufacturer, an importer, manager, estate owner, farmer, clothing and interior designer and a trader. She has her own dreams and aspirations and she goes after them as an advantage to her family.
But most of all her ‘perfectness’ does not come from herself but because she serves the Lord.
May all women be blessed in the knowledge that our strength does not come from ourselves but from the Holy Spirit in us.
Thanks again for your great blog Brittany and for sharing your wisdom.
YES!!! I completely agree and so very glad to see someone else say it. You say that no one says she works. You must not have read quite as many of those articles as you thought, because I see this all the time. She is a diligent worker, it’s one of the main points of the passage! I think the “argument” is to her motivation, as the previous commenter brings up. I’ve never read any article about the P31 woman that says the things you’re saying they all say. Even in your denial of the disdain, your tone seems very …disdainful.
I’m sorry it came across that way–that was not my intention at all. And I don’t mean that they say she never works–but that I’ve never seen one that mentions her working outside the home. I’ve only seen articles talking about how she works so hard at home to be the perfect wife and mother. I think those things are absolutely fantastic! But seems like sometimes people miss this one small point.
I see, so you are actually using Proverbs 31 as an argument for why women should work outside the home…I completely disagree with your interpretation. There is a big difference between what she did and have a full-time career. Everything she did was based on serving her family and taking care of them. Not building a career separate from that.
Not at all. This post is about “Three Things No One Tells You About the Proverbs 31 Woman” — It’s not a response to the Bible passage. It’s not supposed to highlight the most important points of the passage. it’s not supposed to say women should work here, there or any other place. It’s simple a response to other articles I’ve read leave out what I feel are important details worth including in the conversation.
If you haven’t read the same types of articles I’ve read–the ones that talk about the P31 woman being the perfect wife/mother/homemaker and how we all have to be exactly like her, then my stance to *those types of articles* may not really make sense, taken out of context.
Hi Brittany!!!
THANK YOU!!! I love your perspective on this. You are so right… I avoid reading blogs about the Proverbs 31 wife so hard because I feel like I’ll never live up to that “perfect” model of a women. As a wife, being a full time student with a job, soon to be mommy, and still try to come home every day and keep the house spotless with dinner on the stove every single day is nearly impossible! Often times I feel like a failure. Needed this today.
I’m glad you enjoyed it! Another post you might also enjoy, since you mentioned you feel like a failure 🙁 is this one: Three Truths to Remember When You Feel Like a Failure. Hope that’s just as helpful!
I love this! I always thought, “darn, she really works hard!” When I read this passage. But the Christian culture sure have taken this example and gotten carried away. I love the part about her helping the poor. We really should be focused on compassion and helping those in need as it was a pretty big part of Jesus’ ministry. She takes care of business and has time to help others. Nothing in there about creating a magical childhood for her kids and being perfect at every aspect of life. Interesting.
Exactly. Not that she wasn’t a great mother–I’m sure she was too–but I think sometimes we ascribe all of these attributes to her and feel like we have to measure up–when that’s not what the passage is even saying…
This is most likely written by Bathsheba to Solomon. It is s mothers heart for her son. So what mother wouldn’t present this “type” of an ideal woman befor her son encouraging him to look for a woman like this. I know I would. She lives her life for the benefit of her family & others. She is placed in the Bible as a type that all of Gods daughters can look to as an example, just like the many other Bible characters we look to. She is, whether real or not, a woman to be praised not threatened by😊
Absolutely. A model, not a threat!
Seeing as though it was written from Bathsheba to Solomon, of course there wouldn’t be mention of how she interacts with her children because she would be unwed and not yet have children. Hence “her children RISE UP and call her blessed” I enjoyed most of the article but your stance on children being mentioned once made my stomach turn. The mother that a woman is shows a lot about her character and if she is not patient, kind, loving and selfless with her children, how will she be that way to others?
God bless.
Absolutely. That just wasn’t the purpose of this article. This isn’t meant to be a thorough discussion of the Proverbs 31 woman, but just a reaction to all of the other articles you read out there. I feel like some of the other articles are quite one-sided and unattainable. This article is ONLY to say “Hey, don’t forget these couple of points too”
Note also that she has “female servants” and “She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.”, in other words, her home and children are taken care of whilst she is busy buying fields and making sure her household will be warm and well fed…and she’s just a reminder of what we wish to become.
Yep! I’d say she’s pretty on the ball! 🙂
Brittany thank you for this article. I am single. And I’ve been encouraged through it to be a woman of Valor. I also want to emphasize that It’s important for us to keep in mind that Lemuel’s mother was likely speaking from the perspective of a woman of wealth, not a working-class woman. Also, the woman of valor described here is a woman in a well-off household, and her own valor increases the wealth of her household. So it is important not to be distracted by the quantity or material value of her accomplishments with the result that we miss the message about the quality of her character. The woman of valor is a woman who is aware of her gifts and is not afraid to make use of them for the benefit of her family and those within her sphere of influence. To you wives out there who somehow feel like you don’t measure up, I think I would be hard-pressed to find a Christian woman who does not fit this description. In fact, even many non-Christian women fit it.
It certainly is the truth that sets us free! The proverbs 31 woman is an example of the “Bride of God” as in, his people. (Think to how in Hosea, Isreal is described as an adulterous woman, or in 2 Corinthians 11:2 Paul says that he has betrothed them to one husband, or in Isaiah, The Lord says through Isaiah “For your maker is your husband”)
No one woman is expected to be this; but rather, we as a whole, working in the ways God has called us, following the leading of the Holy Spirit, fulfill this.
Pay close attention to verses like
“She brings her food FROM AFAR” (Who else is brought from afar in the Prophets?)
“She rises while it is STILL NIGHT”
And gives food to her household”
“For all her household are clothed with scarlet”
“Her Husbandis known in the GATES
When he SITS among the ELDERS of the land”
“And supplies BELTS to the tradesmen”
“She smiles at the future”
How brilliant is The Lord?
“It is the glory of God to conceal a matter, but the glory of kings is to SEARCH OUT a matter”
LOVE THIS! The fact that you pulled so much out regarding the working aspect was exactly what I needed to read right now. I currently work full time but have the ability to work 2 of the 5 days from home which helps in the cleaning department. I get discouraged a lot with thoughts of not being a good enough homemaker/mom/wife. Now ministerial teaching and exhortation? Yeah I can do that (I run a ministry as well) but when it comes to cooking, cleaning, kids, etc- well…lets say I am not the perfect P31 woman of our imagination LOL!
Thanks for this, God knew I needed it!
Awww, glad to encourage you today! Yes, we do have a special role as homemakers, but that certainly isn’t our ONLY role and no one said it should be the most important either. Important, yes, but MOST important…? Nope. No need to stress 🙂
Thank you for this. I was just telling my husband tonight that I really hate this particular passage because she seems to have it so well put together. Yet I am a pastor, wife, mother and employee who is totally and utterly not feeling put together. Yet this passage when I went back and re read it is important. I am looking forward to studying more into the lessons it teaches and seeing it from a different perspective.
Awwww, we all feel that way sometimes. And don’t compare yourself to a 2D passage — that’s not fair to you. She’s just a picture — not a real person with bad hair days and bills to pay. I’m sure you’re doing great 🙂
This came up in my search, today and wow. *TEARS!!!* Thank you, so much for this. I’m a coupe of years late reading, but this is incredibly timely for me. I was starting to feel like I’m not enough of a mom. I’m a single parent, but I still strive for the Proverbs 31 way of doing things. Just…thank you. his article blessed me.
Awwwww, I’m glad that you got so much out of it!
Want another one? You might like this one too 🙂 https://equippinggodlywomen.com/parenting/three-reasons-you-feel-like-a-failure-as-a-mom/
Wow thank you so much for showing me this other side of proverbs 31 Woman! Thanks again.
Glad you enjoyed the article, Elizabeth! <3
It wouldn’t matter if she was a real woman. There’s no reason why she couldn’t have been based on one. The proverb still never says she’s perfect. We humans put that label on her. I think she’s a lovely example of robust femininity in it’s true place os subservience to God and husband. 😆
Agreed. But I think a lot of people find her very intimidating because they don’t feel like they measure up for whatever reason. 🙂
I love that you share that she works so hard! I always feel guilty for working and wanting a career. Knowing that the Proverbs 31 woman does that, while still serving her family is very comforting. Women don’t have to choose one or the other. We can do both.
I also love that you said she’s an allegorical character. She’s a compilation of basically all of the characteristics of a Godly woman. And we don’t have to cultivate them all at the same time. That would be kind of impossible. Life has many different seasons and we can cultivate some of these traits in different seasons of our lives.
Thanks for your words. I always find comfort and truth in what you write, Britttany! God bless you.
Thanks for the post. You said many things I had observed from Proverbs 31 through the years. So I took your post as inspiration for a sermon to share with the local congregation. Thanks!
https://youtu.be/i_ko3OixUa4
What a great read! Thanks for sharing this revelation.
Hi there, and thank you SO much for sharing this! I am in the midst of this study and I agree with everything you say. I have spent a lot of time over this passage as I am creating a coloring book on Proverbs 31, and more and more becomes revealed to me, and it’s so encouraging! Exactly for the reasons you point out here.
I am so glad that I found this at this very moment in my life when I seek clarity and direction.
God bless you!!
Awesome article!! Can see the handwriting of the devil!!! Keep it up!!!
Thanks, Jude!
I love the Hebrew translation of, “eshet chayil” as well as your link to the acrostic poem of Proverbs 31 sung in Hebrew. How divine! Some beauty is lost from the original meaning when translated into English. I also very much enjoyed your comparison of the Proverbs 31 women to Ruth illustrating how each persons application and manifestation of womenhood is unique to them, as well as a perpetual evolvement of momentum that builds upon itself as one comes to terms with and transmutes their experiences of life. Thank you, and many blessings throughout the holidays
So glad you found it helpful! <3
I’m still wondering how a Christian blog can encourage people to disregard something the Bible actually says. The point you were trying to make could have still been valid without the emphasis on ‘it doesn’t apply‘. All scripture is profitable and the word of God does not expire so even in different times and cultures, the word remains the word! The fact that the proverbs 31woman wasn’t an actual person doesn’t invalidate the text, when Jesus told parables, they were not about actual people but he used that to send a message and to tell explain further about the kingdom of God. If it wasn’t necessary and relevant to us, the text wouldn’t be in the Bible because the Bible was written under inspiration from God.
Hi, Ini. I’m not sure you understood the point I was trying to make here. I would never say that people should disregard what the Bible says, or that the text is invalid. The point I was trying to make is simply that some words of the Bible are commands (that we are to follow directly), while others are more stories (that we are to learn from, but do not have to follow directly). The Proverbs 31 account is not a prescription–that we must be EXACTLY like her or we don’t measure up. Rather, it’s more of advice in what type of woman a Godly man should look for. Hope that clarifies things a bit.
I very much enjoyed your article. I was raised Southern Baptist…the man is the head of the house, submit and honor.
I am a Survivor, a victim of Domestic Violence of 10 years. T that nearly took my life.
With that being said, it was Love, Faith and Fear that kept me in the situation for so long.
After we married, he began to reveal his true self, threatening my life and told me he did not believe in God. I would have never married a non- believer.
I founded a private pay long term care concept for old, sick dying Dementia seniors. I lived 24/7 with 6 terminally ill seniors at a time. I LIVED with dying people. 22 people died in my home under hospice services.
I found myself living in “God’s Waiting Room”, and I poured my heart and soul in learning and understanding the plight of the old, sick and dying as well as those that loved and cared for them.
My prayers were answered and I closed down my business, divorced and had to flee the town I was born, raised, worked and lived for safety- because he was stalking me until the day I flew away.
We were un- evenly yolk, and I was the income earner for 10 years.
I share this because there are a lot of women that are in unexpected and unevenly yolked situations…RUN! Do not through your pearls on swine.
The PTSD from Domestic Violence has been flash backs of ice picks in the headboard of the bed, death threats and crying in front of the honeydews at Costco… because of a memory where he was squeezing my “skull” and telling me my head was perfect like a Mellon.
Be safe, know the risk of a Godly woman with a man that does not know God is a deadly mixture.
I’m healing and writing books about my life adventures of living in “God’s Waiting Room”… soon to be available on Amazon.
Teresa Marie Sellers
I see things completely differently. I see the Proverbs 31 woman as a parable of the church. The “King” is our Messiah, and His bride should be doing all those things mentioned. When you read it through that lease, it makes far more sense. The church is made up of many people and all have different roles, but together, we are the perfect bride for our King.
Great encouragement! Thank you! I feel like these are simply some good attributes that Godly can possess! I don’t feel that it’s one woman who does all these things, if it were, when would she have time to sleep?! I also see that she has maids!! HA! I really need one of those! Then maybe I’d get something accomplished in life!
Sorry, if shes not real then why is she described as a model woman. Basic instructions are put in place as something to aspire to to be the best version of yourself. Its not impossible…dont let low self esteem hold you back. First thing it says is “she IS capable” She is an attainable standard…with discipline, fruit of the spirit and a little grit…and lots of prayer when you’re dalling short. Id rather be a real woman than a unicorn. God knew exactly what Adam would need to rule the earth as its first king. God speaks through every character to those who have an ear to hear and He has never changed the original plan for woman to be the helper. I wish i had learned/been taught these attributes on purpose when i was a young woman. It is better to prepare a child rather than repair an adult…dont miss the mark. The instruction is an arrow.
Brittany, As i read this Psalm this morning, the Holy Spirit spoke to me a different twist. I am wondering if you have considered this possibility.
What if King Lemuel is a type of Christ and the son is a christian (generically, either male or female). Initially the king draws on the obvious warning of avoiding foolishness because of who he is with the picture of not giving your strength away to women (plural), or to strong drink. There are actually twice as many verses about strong drink as there are women, but both pictures are warnings to not spend your strength (days) in self serving. Then, we get the reminder of what a true son of the king should be about, namely defending the poor and needy and judging that righteousness would grow in the land. THEN the king fleshes out what that would look like and the pleasure it would bring a husband (Christ as Bridegroom) from the allegorical description of a virtuous wife. So the admonishment is to not be a blind self pleasing young man, but to remember your call, join the king in His desires, even as a devoted and others minded wife would.
Brittany,
I wanted to let you know that I really enjoyed this article over The Proverbs 31 Woman!!
I guess out of all the times I have read P31 I never put it together that it is simple insturction to a son from his mother about what to look for in a Godly wife. I, as many women always thought it was instruction on what I was supposed to live up to. (Which is impossible to do)
I agree hole heartily that we all mess up on a daily basis, and we all fall short of the glory of God. I think that is why it is so important to remember one of the last verses in this chapter, especially in today’s world and society.
Proverbs 31:30 NIV “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised”
So, no matter if she was real or factitious it all boils down to “BUT A WOMAN WHO FEARS THE LORD IS TO BE PRAISED”!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So glad you found it helpful! That’s such a common misconception 🙂
Wow! This is incredibly beautiful, and your writing is inspiring! Thank you for this post!
I am so glad you found it inspirational! 😊