Three Reasons You Feel Like a Failure as a Mom (And How to Fix It)

ūüĆļ  Written by Brittany Ann

 Three Reasons You Feel Like a Failure as a Mom (And How to Fix It)It’s barely 7 am and your day is already off to a rough start.

Your oldest is supposed to be getting ready for school… except he can’t find any clean pants… because you forgot to throw in the laundry last night. Dishes are piled up in the sink, the toddler just threw his applesauce on the floor and you can’t find your daughter’s field trip permission form anywhere. There’s not enough milk for cereal, so someone has to make do with toast, and chances are you won’t have a chance to eat at all–not for a few hours anyway.

And the worst part is… this is becoming more and more typical. And you feel like a failure.¬†


Motherhood may be one of the most rewarding jobs there is, but it’s also one of the hardest too. And today’s moms have it harder than ever.

Sure, we have dishwashers and tablets and husbands that help around the house to lighten the load, but we also have a lot of things working against us too. Here are four.


1. We Don’t Have the Resources We Need


When I was pregnant with my first son, I read pretty much EVERY book in the library on pregnancy, babies and parenting. It really helped me feel confident once he arrived that I knew I was doing. Since then, I’ve read probably thousands of books and articles on marriage, parenting, homemaking and everything in between. (I even wrote one! Click here to check out my book, “TEACH Your Children How to Behave”)

Unfortunately, however, most moms don’t have that kind of time. And even if they did, they wouldn’t know where to start. With SO much information out there, how do you know who to trust? And even if they did–would it work? For my kids?? There’s a lot of uncertainty.

(Want to hear my top recommendations? You can find my MUST-read parenting books here.)


2. We Set Our Standards Too High


Every time we turn on the TV, we see gorgeous actresses. On Pinterest, we see beautifully decorated homes¬†with gorgeous, organized closets full of shoes. On Instagram, we see amazing looking dinners that we could never make and that our kids would never eat. On Facebook, we see everything our friends and their kids are up to–which is so much cooler than what we’re doing.

We have friends who eat all organic, friends who homeschool, friends who own their own businesses, friends who have managed to go debt-free, friends who can cook, friends who can coupon, friends who can craft… And we think “That is so awesome! Why can’t I do that too?”

And I don’t mean one of those things–I mean ALL of those things.

Because obviously, if other people are “doing it all,” we should be able to too, right?


3. We Overemphasize the Negative


How many times have you reached the end of a long day and felt totally guilty about the three times you yelled, completely forgetting about the five times you snuggled, the three meals you made, the two shoes you helped find and the one before-bed tickle fight you had?

How many times have you cried over a burnt cake and totally neglected to remember the fruit kabobs that looked amazing? Or hated yourself because you can’t get rid of those last five pounds but totally neglected the ten you’ve lost already?

We all do it.


*See Also: 25 Ways to Speak Your Child’s Love Language


It doesn’t matter if you’re old or young, thin or overweight, a mom of four or a mom of one. We ALL feel like failures sometimes. And usually more often than we’d like to admit. I do it, you do it. That’s kind of how it goes, isn’t it?

We know we shouldn’t feel that way, but we do.


So, how can we stop? Well, there’s a few things you can do:


If it’s a matter of simply not knowing what to do, you can read more. There are TONS of great books and blogs out there that regularly share awesome parenting tips to make raising your kids so much easier. Having trouble getting your children to listen to you? Check out my book, “TEACH Your Children How to Behave.”

If it’s more of a self-esteem issue, then maybe you simply need to really dive into the Word and see what God says about you. He doesn’t think you’re a failure. He thinks you’re awesome. Why not print out some Scripture verse printables to hang around your home to remind yourself what God really thinks of you?

Or maybe you just need more friends in your life. People who can help build you up and let you know that you aren’t alone.


*Related: 3 Truths to Remember When Battling Mom Loneliness


But chances are, if you’re reading this, you’re not a failure. You’re a normal mom who has rough days sometimes. And that’s okay. Your kids need to see you make mistakes sometimes. That doesn’t make you a failure. That just makes you a mom. And a good one at that.


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  1. Well said Brittney.
    There’s a lot of pressure and we live in this global village where we are all so connected but everyone is only seeing the best version of everyone else. In a real village you would see the good the bad and the ugly. You would smell your neighbors burned cake. You’d hear couples argue etc. You knew that you weren’t the only one dealing with the struggles of life. In today’s world we are very limited to actual support. Each person is in their own world and the material we use to compare ourselves to our neighbors is so skewed. This post is a good reminder that we’re human and most of the time we are doing our best.

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