It was 5:00 pm and the house was a complete mess. Toys, books and dishes covered pretty much every surface. My two seriously adorable but seriously energetic little boys needed someone to play with them and it showed. I was still in my pajamas with no intention of changing anytime soon… until I realized that I had to go pick up something for dinner because we had nothing to eat in the house after not going to the store in days.
Eight months pregnant is hard enough, but eight months pregnant with your husband out of town, no energy and two little boys is a completely different story!
We should have gone outside to play. To the park. To the library. To the store. But that day, it simply wasn’t happening. ALL I wanted to do in the entire world was turn on cartoons for the boys, lay on the couch, and hang out on Facebook. So that’s exactly what we did.
We all have days like these, right? When, as much as we adore our children, we simply don’t feel like being a good mom. When we’d rather send them to their rooms or plop them down in front of the TV so we can please just have a little time to ourselves.
Or is that just me?
If it’s you too–and I’m guessing that it is–here are four tips that will help.
p.s. Ready to start really enjoying life as a mom? Tired of feeling negative and want to be more positive about parenthood? Be sure to check out the +Positive Parenting 6-day challenge!
1. Realize That It’s Normal
Wanting a break from your children doesn’t make you a bad mom. It makes you human. It is okay to need some time to yourself, or at least a break from the kids, for a while. Seriously.
*Related: Six Essential Ways to Increase Your Patience
2. Take a Break
Need a break? Take one! Yes, really. It can be as quick and simple as walking outside to get the mail, taking a hot shower, or sneaking into the kitchen for a piece of chocolate when no one is looking. Or it could be leaving your kids with grandma and grandpa for a much-needed date night or leaving them with your husband so you can have a weekend away with the girls.
Now, please understand, I’m not saying your children are horrible and that you need to escape them–not at all! I adore my children and I know you do too. But that doesn’t mean you have to be tied to them 24/7. A little alone time can really rejuvenate your soul and help you appreciate them even more when you return.
Having difficulty finding time for yourself? These seven tips will help: How to Find Time for Yourself (and Why You Should!)
3. Determine the Real Problem
Is the problem that you don’t get enough time to yourself or is it something else? Maybe your children have been acting out lately and you don’t know what is causing it or how to fix it. Maybe you haven’t been taking good enough care of yourself physically and it’s taking a toll. Maybe you’ve been neglecting to make God your #1 priority and your whole life has been thrown off-balance. (*affiliate link)
Once you figure out what is really going on, you’ll be in a much better position to do something about it.
4. Find Something Everyone Enjoys
Sometimes, the problem isn’t that you need time away–it’s that you need to switch activities. There are plenty of ways you can spend meaningful time with your children other than coloring or playing blocks if you don’t enjoy those sorts of activities. What are some things you and your children can love to do together?
*Don’t miss this post on learning to speak your child’s love language!
In our family, we love baking, snuggling up to read stories and going on bike rides. We rarely play board games, go swimming or have dance parties. There’s no reason to limit yourself to just kids’ activities. What things do you and your family love to do?
It’s normal to have days where you don’t feel like being a good mom, and it’s okay to give in every once in a while. If you find yourself checking out more often than you’d like, however, these four tips will help!
*Related: The Three Letter Word that Can Change Your Life
Do you ever have days when you don’t feel like being a good mom? How do you overcome them?
Brittany
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I think we ALL have days like this at some point. Hugs!!! And great advice 🙂
I figured 🙂 and thanks!
So often I feel that if I even admit that I am having a difficult day in parenting, my failure is compounded. I love the perspective in this article to admit that, yes, I am struggling today, and then to look for the cause and a solution. # 4 is so important too- sometimes the whole family just needs a break from the routine and new “scenery” or activity to reset the mood. Thanks, Brittany!
Hey, it’s perfectly alright to admit when a day isn’t going well–we all have bad days sometimes! As long as we realize it and turn it around–that’s what’s important. (and honestly, a day “off” here or there isn’t going to hurt anyone!)
This is so timely for me. I had a “didn’t feel like being a good mom” week, not just a day. I recently experienced the importance of your tip to take a break. I went out shopping for a couple of hours without my little toddler, and the change in my mood when I got back was absolutely amazing. Just those couple of hours doing something I liked by myself helped get me out of my terrible mood and I felt happier to see my daughter. Great tips!
Awww, I’m sorry to hear that 🙁 Unfortunately, we all have days like that from time to time, but you’re right–it’s amazing what a little time away can do for the soul!
I have an amazing and be-a-utiful baby boy and sometimes yea I feel like that. What I do—TAKE A WALK!!
Air helps clear your mind and the one on one time with him where there is no TV or internet or toys I feel more focused on him and reminded how much I really love and live for this baby boy.
Yes! Some fresh air can do so much good! I used to strap the baby in the bike seat and go for bike rides–that was the best. (Can’t now that I have 3, but it was great when I had one)