Sending your kids to a private Christian school this year? Here are three dangers of private Christian school you should be aware of…
Before we begin, there is something you should know: I really don’t care what type of school you send your children to.
Private school, public school, homeschool… there’s nothing inherently wrong with any of them, and whatever works best for your family works for me. Every family is different.
(We actually do send our kids to a private Christian school, and I went to public school myself. Both the Christian private elementary school and the public school were positive experiences.)
That being said, there is one particular danger that’s unique to private Christian school, and that is complacency.
Getting so safe and cozy in your nice, Christian environment that you completely let your guard down and drop the ball. Or thinking that the things that other parents have to worry about don’t apply to you.
That’s what I want to warn you about today.
If you send your children to a private Christian school like we do – here are three things you must keep in mind:
1. Private Christian School Isn’t an Impenetrable Bubble
If you send your children to a private Christian school – why do you send them there?
- For the religious education?
- For the caring teachers?
- Because the school is connected to your church and you love the community?
Or is it because you are hoping to protect your children from all of the evils of the world and of the public school system? You know, that horrible place where they teach evolution and sex ed and who knows what else?
The fact of the matter is, while private Christian school does provide a “bubble” like atmosphere, it certainly isn’t an impenetrable bubble. All of that yucky stuff – it’s still going to find its way in.
There are kids at your kids’ private Christian school who smoke, drink, do drugs, have premarital sex and watch pornography.
Yes, at your kids’ private high school … even their private elementary school.
And even beyond just the big, “scary” sins, there’s all manner of littler, sneakier ones too. Things like jealousy, bullying, sneaking around, lying, gossiping and who knows what else. It’s all there.
Because while the private elementary schools and private high schools may be Christian, not everyone who attends is. And not everyone who considers themselves a Christian cares to act like it either. Especially when they have uncles and older cousins and friends from their neighborhood who make a rebellious lifestyle look so cool.
And all of that junk eventually finds its way right into your children’s classroom too.
Maybe now you have a whole, new set of questions?
- Are Christian schools good?
- What REALLY is a Christian school like, then?
- Are Christian schools better than public schools?
This doesn’t mean that private Christian schools are bad or that they are more dangerous than another type of school – they’re not. Christian private elementary schools and private high schools are still very good schools. There is still a bit of a bubble protection. And there is still the option of faith-based learning that is not taught in secular schools.
Just don’t fall into the trap of thinking “Oh, well, my kids go to a Christian school, so I don’t have to talk to them about things like drugs and sex… they aren’t going to be exposed to that for a while.”
Because yes, yes they are. Way sooner than you probably think.
And trust me, you want them to learn about these things from you. Not on the playground.
*See Also: Six Ways to Help Young Children Resist Peer Pressure
Related Video: Want Brave, World-Changing Kids? Be a Brave Mom. (Here’s How)
2. …But it is Still a Bubble
Okay, so private Christian school may not be an impenetrable bubble, but the fact is, it IS still a bubble.
I remember graduating from college, getting married and heading out into the “real world” after spending five years on a private Christian campus. It was a little disorienting, to be honest!
It was like the rule book I’d grown so comfortable and familiar with was completely thrown out the window. Suddenly, everyone was operating by a whole different set of rules – rules I wasn’t used to.
Thankfully, I was surrounded by friends and family who always had my best interests in mind.
But what happens to your kids when they graduate from a private Christian school and head off to a secular college?
Are your children prepared for the real world?
Suddenly, the rule book is thrown out the window, everything is different, they’re a little disoriented (and probably a little insecure because while they’re technically adults, it sure doesn’t feel like it at 18!), and not everyone around them is looking out for their best interests.
Your kids may be in a bubble now, but this won’t always be the case. Will they be prepared?
- Do your children know how to handle themselves if they suddenly find themselves at a party surrounded by drugs and alcohol?
- Do they know how to respond appropriately when they find out their professor is not only an atheist but has it out for Christians?
- What about when the other guys in their dorm start asking some reallllly tough questions about Christianity and your kids don’t know how to answer. Will it shake their faith?
Yes, it’d be nice if we never had to have conversations about drugs, alcohol, and sex. Yes, it’d be nice if we could just tell our kids a few Bible stories and trust that they’d treasure them and believe them forever. But it doesn’t work that way.
Someday, your kids are going to leave their safe little bubble, and they need to be prepared.
Better for them to learn about the world and experience it in smaller doses now, when they are surrounded by friends and family who love them, than to be thrown in head first later when they head out on their own.
3. Your Kids Need Space to Make Their Faith Their Own
Want to hear something strange?
As much as Christian parents worry about how public schools will negatively affect their children’s spiritual lives, for me, my faith was definitely at its weakest while attending private Christian college.
It wasn’t the college’s fault. It was a great school. But it was a bubble.
In college, EVERYONE was a Christian. It was a shared language we all had. And as a result, it didn’t feel “real.”
No one had any real problems (that they were talking about). No one had any real struggles. We talked about God, but we didn’t experience Him the way we should have. After all, what did we need Him for? To get an A on a test? We were all doing just fine.
*See Also: Three Ways to Help Your Children Make Their Faith Their Own
Compare that to public high school. People had real problems and they weren’t afraid to display them. People made lifestyle choices different than mine. People believed things other than what I believed.
It kept me on my toes, that’s for sure.
Because at public high school, my faith wasn’t taken for granted. It was something that was tested every day. And every time it was, it grew stronger.
When people asked really hard questions, I had to actually go find the answers. I had to have a reason for the choices I made. I had to be sure what I believed in. And so I was.
No one likes tests and trials, but the fact is, those tests and trials are exactly what make our faith so strong. And without them, you might just find out that your faith is built on a very shaky foundation after all.
Have your children ever had to wrestle with their faith? Have they ever had to find out what and why they believe and defend it in front of others? Have they ever gone through a time when they really had to dig in deep and find out for sure if God is really real or just a story they’ve been told their whole lives?
Better to find out now, rather than later.
Now please understand, I am in no way knocking Christian schools. I think they’re great. We send our kids to Christian schools.
But if you’re going to send your children as well, please don’t be under the mistaken impression that your children are going to be safe out of all harm’s way or that the school is going to do all of your children’s spiritual formation for you.
You still need to be alert. And you still need to help your children be prepared.
And that starts today.
Do your children go to a private Christian school? How do you think it has impacted their faith? How do you think it will affect their faith in the future?
Brittany
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I homeschool my kids. I was also personally homeschooled. Yes, homeschooling and private schools are bubbles.
My thoughts are:
1) There is no formula for making sure our kids come out on the other side as Christians. (I wish there were)
-There is no right or wrong way to school them. Each is called differently.
2) We homeschool partly because we have the opportunity to talk them about all the issues every single day.
-We talk to them about sex, smoking, alcohol, etc, etc when it comes up. We don’t want them to hear about these things from their peers first, if at all possible.
3) If we ever chose a different schooling method, we will continue to be proactive about these conversations.
4) When one of my children ask a question, (no matter how awkward) I answer it age-appropriately. I don’t skirt issues.
Does all this mean they will turn out the way we hope? No, it doesn’t. All I know is that we do our best and trust God for the rest.
Sounds like you’re doing a great job! (And I’d sure like to know that formula too!)
what program do you use for homeschooling?
Hi liked the article and the comments were also informative..is it possible to know which homeschool curriculum did you use? Thank you
I read your article with an open heart and mind. I could write a book on our experience with a Christian School education vs. Public school vs. Homeschool. we have done all 3 with our family. Our oldest child and 2nd went to Christian school into High school when we moved her to public school. The move was due to bullying, non stop ostracizing and plain out lying by staff. To the point that suicide was written about by her and we made the move. We so wish we would have years before but thought we were doing the right thing. We saw so much, and your article is right on target. Do not let your guard down, thinking your child is immune because it is a Christian school. Public school was wonderful for her, she became a witness for the Lord and helped start a Bible club. Looking back, we would have done all differently. We now have one in public and one homeschooled. Public school has been fine, because we teach God’s word at home. We know how hard it is in the world and only hope others can learn from your article. We wish we would have read it 20 years ago.
Awww, I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that 🙁 There truly is not one option that is best and unfortunately we never really know which is best except through trial and error!
Thank you for this thought provoking article! I really appreciated reading it!
Thanks Melanie! I’m glad!
The whole reason that parents send their children to private schools is because they know that their children are getting a better education. I know for me that public school is not even an option. By paying nearly $20,000 a year, I know that my child is getting the best education. I also don’t believe that parents that send their children to private schools are trying to shield them, its more that all the kids are there to learn not play. Also private school is 10 times harder than public schools ever thought to be. Also the whole bubble thing is true for homeschooling, but not true for private schools.
Well, I think that really depends on the parent. For us, we choose private school because I subbed in the public schools and did not want my kids going to the ones by us. So, I’m not trying to shelter them, per se, but it definitely is a matter of bringing them up around the right influences. I’m just glad we have the freedom to make that choice for any reason! Lots of people aren’t so lucky.
The public schools in our area perform as well if not better than the private Christian schools in the area. I attended private Christian school my entire life and was taught private Christian school was superior to the public school system. I completed my student teaching in my local public school and was shocked at how rigorous it was. The focus on collaboration, communication, creativity, and critical thinking was definitely superior to the private school I attended. Also, I was impressed with how friendly and accepting the students were to others with disabilities and differences. I’m not saying all public and private schools are as I experienced but I truly had an eye opening experience and am a little ashamed at how naive I was about the local public schools.
That’s awesome! And the truth is, you never really know until you spend some time in the school yourself (which most people aren’t lucky enough to get to do).
Just came across this article as we have 3 public school girls going into 10th, 8th and 3rd. In our area the public schools are actually ahead of the private schools academically. We live in a very liberal area where doctors and lawyers send their kids to the public schools. We are considering switching to a Christian school because of drugs, sex, lack of morals, lack of God as he doesn’t exist to the liberal public school kids. Science proves that and these are very educated people who know this as a fact. They have no problem engaging in demoralizing behavior because we are all just an ape that mutated, right? If they want to smoke marijuana at school or have sex, they should do it because they don’t need to feel guilty. There is no God waiting to judge them one day! Do as you wish. If you get knocked up, go pop a morning after pill or get an abortion. You will have no guilt because women have been oppressed for so long, they deserve a little sex with no guilt as its just a sac of cells, not a baby. That is why right now the local Christian school with less educational benefits sounds pretty good. Kids need to have a God to face one day otherwise we are all doomed as a society.
So… honestly… I almost didn’t allow this comment to be published but I will. Missy, please be very careful with (and I say this with much love), how you are stereotyping the other side. Yes, you don’t agree with their views – I don’t either – but to lump all non-Christians together as “They have no problem engaging in demoralizing behavior because we are all just an ape that mutated, right?” — simply isn’t fair to anyone and it doesn’t help the cause for Christ. As Christians, we are supposed to show people the love and truth of Jesus – not just dismissively refer to them as a group of people who have no morals, basically… That doesn’t help anyone. Again, I say this in MUCH love and kindness.
I think Missy was not so much talking about people as the ideology that is spread to people.
I found her comment offensive too. As a l highly educated liberal feminist Christian married to a highly educated liberal feminist agnostic I guarantee you neither of us advocates or encourages our children to experiment with sex, drugs or alcohol. In fact, none of my friends, regardless of education, faith, or political stance, wants their kids to smoke, drink, get high, have sex, have abortions, etc. Either Missy is way off base and making hugely unfounded assumptions, or she lives in a really weird place. (FWIW I love in Australia but was raised in the US and can guarantee you, your average conservative Australian is more liberal than most liberal American. Very few Australian aren’t socialists – including conservatives – but my husband and I are definitely liberal by Australian standards, which, by American standards, pretty much makes us . . . Well,pretty much pariahs.)
Well said! Thank you for this comment… I fully agree!
I was always in the other side of the fence, I swore I would NEVER send my kids to public school because of my horrible and ungodly experiences in public. I blossomed completely when my parents took me out of public and sent me to private. I sent both my children to private for a few years to see how it went. The education was NOT better, the school was small and quaint which made it feel like a family, but there was still drama and issues all under the “Christian school label.” And for all that I was PAYING! It wasn’t free. We live in a great district, so we descided to try it out because the private school was a far drive, and low and behold its been great. The lord is with us wherever we go. The first two weeks were very trying for my daughter, it was a culture shock. But through prayer and teaching her what life is all about, she overcame. She LOVES school and just yesterday on Columbus Day, she asked if she could go. God is good.
Yes, you have to do what is right for YOUR family! Christian schools aren’t always, automatically best just because they slap the “Christian” label on them and have Bible classes. I’m glad she’s doing well now 🙂
Hi! I wanted to respond to your comment because I am reading all of these comments and this article word for word, trying to make a good decision for my children. We’ve already paid the admission fees for our local Christian private school ($$$!!) but I’m having serious second thoughts! And here’s why: we happen to live in a very liberal state, but the education (aside from some weird gender theories, etc. and a new sex-ed initiative) is outstanding. We also happen to live in the wealthiest school district in our area with an almost brand new elementary school (and I’ve heard that the best teachers from the district flocked to this school), a brand new middle school, and a new high school set to be built by the time our oldest is ready for it. And, our school district pays teachers 7% more than any other school district in our area. So, for us, private school really seems to be a risk. My husband attended the private school for years, and was persistent that the educators are sub-par and the pool of kids to make friends with is so much smaller, that it is very easy to feel left out. He has said that it is much easier to find a friend in public school. He has also said what the author said about the bubble and how many of his former classmates absolutely lost their minds when they were released into public colleges or the real world. I, personally, attended public school, and was curious about the private school kids, and viewed them as superior to us. I wanted to send my own children to private school for years. And for years, that seemed very out of reach. But now, it is doable for us, and I jumped right in without really thinking it over. I’ve only ever been to the school once! I don’t know if anyone will read this, but I’ve exhausted my personal resources and the people around me have made their stances well known, so I suppose I’m hoping to speak with other mothers who have gone through similar experiences…
I live in NZ. We recently took our children out of public education and put them into private Christian education. It was the best decision we ever made. I wish I had decided sooner. Yes teachers may be better and content might be superior in public schools but God has never be interested in achievers. He is interested in those who love Him and are willing to walk according to his ways. God has been removed almost entirely from public education and in its place all sorts of things including mindfulness. In which you are your own God. I believe that although not perfect, it is important to have your children where their/your values are within the majority not the minority. Not all students are strong and resilient and can handle the public system and yes some may choose to try drugs, sex and all sorts of things in Christian schools but they are the minority, not the majority (whereas in public education it is the norm) and the teachers will walk with you/them to get you through it. Whereas in public education you are on your own (as that is all considered normal behaviour)
Good Christian education – such as the one my children are in equips children for the world today. There is no intention to hide them. It is about discipling them to be Christian leaders and stewards. My experience has also not at all been second rate. Thankfully we are blessed to be in a school where the results are some of the top in the country. But God comes first. Matthew 6 v 33.
I’m so glad that you found a school you love! I would be careful about saying that the majority of public school kids are getting into trouble though… I went to public schools myself and that was not at all the case where I lived, or in the schools that I taught in. More prevalent? Probably. But definitely not the majority. <3
Lauren, your situation is the same as mine! I’m so confused and desperately want to make the best decision for my kids. What did you decide? I wish I had a clear answer.
Hi Danielle! We ultimately decided there was no question, we will continue to send our kids to public school.
My husband and I visited the private school the week following parent-teacher conferences with our kid’s public school teachers. Ultimately it came down to the level of experience and education of the teachers. Really the deciding factor for us was a poster on the wall of the private school at the end of our tour. It was a poster of a couple of the teachers and little interviews with them. One of the teachers who would have been our own child’s teacher the following year. She actually wrote that she had interviewed with the public school district, but was not offered a position, so she came to the private school. I grew up in a home with a public school teacher as a parent, so I’ve heard, first hand, many of the issues with public school behind the teacher scenes, and I know they’re not all going for their master’s or really all that knowledgable because they have letters behind their names, but I know that our chances of getting a great teacher for our kids are better in our public school system than private.
Sorry for the lengthy response. It was a huge topic of discussion and turmoil for us for a few months, so I have lots to talk about on this subject 🙂 A family member also just transferred her kids to public school from the private school for similar reasons. Hope this helps!
Lauren – I’m so appreciative of you taking the time to respond. I really appreciate your lengthy attention to my (a stranger’s) concern. 🙂 I’m glad you found peace with your decision!
I have absolutely no doubt the teachers and academics at our local public (charter) school are good. My primary concern was my daughter’s heart and her learning to trust God and to develop spiritual discernment, which I felt could be confusing in an institution that cannot teach about God (and has a few culturally acceptable standards that I feel are contrary to God’s will). But my background is all public school, so I don’t have anything to compare it to. I just know I didn’t come to Christ until college and that certain areas of my life were much more difficult and confusing without having faith and Christ at the center. (of course, there’s always a pull and struggle, but I want my kids to know the truth and to be led toward the things that matter to God, not of this world.) I know there are a lot of ways to bring in faith and God into our everyday lives, and I’m not saying there aren’t believers in public schools – of course there are! It’s just not incorporated into the curriculum. For me, private school has nothing to do with the quality of education – in fact, I believe my local public school is on par or better – it was more about their spiritual growth. With that said, we go to church and we’re believers. And I certainly have fears of them being “left out” or “left behind” to not be in the local public school system. I think that’s really the challenge for me.
Again, thanks so much for sharing your story with me! Best wishes to you and your family. 🙂
If we are being honest education is just another name for brainwashing. Nothing learned in middle school or high school or college for that matter is useful in life. That is because firstly one doesn’t learn in school. One is fed biased information and is forced to regurgitate it on tests and essays. One will not absorb this information long term (which may be a good thing). Schools likewise program kids with a thought process so they don’t think freely and independently but according to their programming. Secondly, what is taught has no applicability in life beyond providing for teacher salaries. History may be interesting to some but what caused the Roman Empire to collapse in the early 400s has little bearing on life today as does all literature and most math. Socialization is a benefit from school but it also can be harmful if around the wrong people and in the wrong environment.
We as Christians need to stop assuming the institutions and concepts which exist are noble. Given the way mainstream society is today whatever goes on in schools is not conducive to anything good. Parents are responsible for raising kids but when they are sent off 5 days a week to a negative learning environment it is harmful. Even Christian schools are detrimental because they are teaching the same nonsense and wasting valuable time in a kids life when they can be kids instead of being bogged down 7 hours a day in a classroom.
Us christians ideally should home school but for social reasons if kids want to go to school let them go. Tell them the truth that there is nothing noble or good about schools. Tell them that intelligence and wisdom are completely separate and independent from school or education. The society we live in requires certain academic performance for high paying jobs so try to get good grades. If you don’t you can get high paying jobs in some trades and even a lot of high paying software jobs require experience more than college. With information from multiple sources avaliable in a multitude of formats at your fingers the concept of physical schooling is obsolete. To live in this society we have to go through the motions but let’s stop worshipping education when it has produced the mess we have today.
I was thinking of posting a similar reply. You make a number of excellent points. I was shocked to see that this article started by saying that there is nothing inherently wrong with public schools. If you want your children to receive godly instruction, you absolutely must remove them from the godless, humanistic public school system.
This sermon has really good resources. It’s been helpful to our family.:
http://subspla.sh/165eac7
Thanks for sharing!
Hey Brittany, I am a recently saved (5 years) Special Education teacher at a big high school in Wisconsin. It pains me to be in the public school and not be able to help each child with the gospel of Jesus Christ. I’m on my way to becoming a principal and have it on my heart to start a Christian School! A “real” Christian school where the bible isn’t a class, but is the starting point and perspective of everything we do. Your article was extremely helpful and I thank you for it. Do you have any resources, people, or advice as I continue on this journey of faith?
First of all, I would encourage you not to discount the public schools. I actually have a teaching degree too (that I’m not using), and I WANTED to be in the public schools. That’s a serious mission field there! And you’d be surprised how much you really can share. You can’t preach, but you can answer questions.
For example, you could say “How was everyone’s weekends? What did you do? … We went to church. I love going to church every weekend because…” <-- That's not preaching, that's a statement of fact. You could bring your Bible in the class and let them see you reading it. When they ask questions, you are allowed to answer them. (Though you should choose your wording carefully, like "Well, Christianity teaches...") That's so exciting that you want to start a Christian school in your area though. Are there any other Christian schools around you currently? I would definitely try to connect with other Christian school principals - either locally or online - to see what kind of advice and encouragement they can give. I'm sure you could easily find many who would be more than willing to share!
I agree Brandon. I see why you would want to work exclusively with Christians, there is no shame in that. Yes, the public schools are a mission field, however the Lord might not be calling you to that. Lets not forget, the Christians and private schools need teachers too! Go with your heart and where the lord is leading YOU!
I myself went through private school and am now going through public school. I went to private school until 6th grade at which point I moved to public school where I now am. Public school was very challenging but then again I am in advanced placement but regular placement still looks decently tough. In private school my faith was shaky but not broken. But when i when to to public school and stopped going to church my faith dropped. I learned about eveloution and sex Ed. I am now an agnostic atheist. Which means I basically don’t believe in a God but I may be wrong. My private school almost had an impenetrable bubble. My first year in public school hit me hard with different religions, sex, and bullying. It wasn’t until public until realized how cringy I was in private school (not talking about faith, talking about how I acted). I have come to prefer public school. I always hated my religion class and was bored. I found this article and it is amazingly spot on. Many people think it is unfortunate I have lost my faith but I don’t. Everyone have an amazing day.
I’m sorry to hear that was your experience but I really appreciate you sharing your perspective.
My kids go to private Christian school and have since kindergarten. Over the summer, I started realizing how much of a “bubble” we are in. We go to church, my kids friends are all believers, and they are never challenged or questioned. I started to think of how complacent I’ve become because I am never challenged. It’s nice and idyllic to be with your brothers and sisters in Christ, but I know that God is calling us to more than that. My kids will go another year to private Christian, just because I’m not ready to make the leap yet, but this year I will be praying for clarity on what to do. I used to think that if you have the funds to send your kids to Christian school, you absolutely should. I don’t really believe that anymore. It’s up to each family to pray and allow God to show you what He has planned for your kids education. Thanks so much for your article. I agree wholeheartedly!
I know exactly what you mean! I don’t know that not attending private school has to be the answer — there are plenty of ways to get involved while still going through route — but it’s definitely something we have to be intentional about!
Let’s be like Jesus. He had a small group of believers that he kept with him no they weren’t yet complete believers but they were of the household of Israel. They had the same context and understanding of God except Jesus understand of course that he was the son of God. They do spend a lot of time just together in their “bubble”. However than they did things together that reached out to The community. They served others prayed for others taught others. Being in a Christian Bible is OK as long as you are not only doing that. Our church goes out every six weeks to the streets as a whole entire body. We do a lot of out reach. That’s with the body of Christ is supposed to do. The school really has nothing to do with that Innoway. Yes public school can be a constant out reach. I think you have to look at the Haaretz sometimes kids will get swallowed up in the lies that are taught in public school as the earlier person evidenced. Other times their Faith will be strengthened. I appreciate the discussion and perspectives.
My parents took me to church where I learned about Christianity and they lived a Christian life in front of myself and my sister. We can’t depend on schools to do our homework. My sister homeschooled her son, he is 34 still lives at home and is addicted to gaming. Her other two went to Christian schools and are doing okay. I feel that if a parent feels their child is in a bubble then for goodness sake do what Christ said “go ye into all the world” show your children diverse sides of life. Get them involved in the community they live in where there are exposed to humans dealing with real life struggles. The world will always be out there however, if we give out children a foundation to depend on they may be able to deal with real life. No matter what ya gotta let them get out there into the deep end of the pool. It’s not easy.
Yes but pray alot I made the mistake of putting my son in a public and soon regret it many teachers are atheist and start confusing them especially if there not well prepare teenage life is harder yes private also has issues but not as bad as public.
I found your article just at the right time. We moved my daughter out of public school to a small private Christian school this fall, but she really misses the larger public school. As you said, there are benefits to both, and thinking Christian schools are a panacea is naive. In just a few weeks, I have learned some of the boys in my daughter’s class are into porn, something my daughter thinks no one she knows from public school is into (which probably isn’t the case either, but at least it means she hasn’t been exposed to it). The public school we are zoned to is very rough, which is why I had pulled her out, but she chose her friends there wisely. The small Christian school is wonderful but doesn’t have the same academic and fine arts options. We are making my daughter stay put for another month, while we pray on whether to send her back to public school. I sure appreciate you sharing your experience as a public school student. It helped me get clarity and feel better about our situation. Thanks!
Oh no! That’s awful! I’m so glad you’re aware of it though and can make a good decision for your family. (Whether that’s public or private!)
My kids don’t go to private Christian schools, but I would love if we could enroll them in one and it’s still in my plans. Not because “they would be safe out of all harm’s way”, but because I didn’t have that when I grew up. I also don’t come from a Christian family, so I believe the more they are exposed to the love of Jesus, His teachings, and like-minded people, the more chances they will have to make their faith their own. They would have church, private Christian school, and us! That’s my dream. 🙂 But I totally agree with what you said. And I will be alert, and I will be intentional with getting involved and teaching them myself! May God give me the wisdom I need for that.
I grew up in a private Christian school along with my four other siblings. Interestingly, I found the environment encouraged me to grow, succeed and become strong. However, that is not the same perspective of all of my siblings. Some may say something like, Christian private school was a bubble and did not prepare them adequately for the “real” world. Today, each one of us could not walk a more different path. I’ll just say, I remain committed to serving and loving the Lord.
As I have observed these differences in our lives I often found myself struggling with what may be the best environment for my children. (I am blessed with three)
For elementary school, we put all of our children in public school. We were impressed with the environment but chose to look at each child individually.
So, out of our three we found one of our children was developing negatively, our oldest, and we decided for middle school it would not be in his best interest to continue on the path that he was on.
After much research, we stumbled upon a high end prep school… christian founded… not a Christian school but promised so much as far as character and self discipline.
We prayed and saved and God blessed us with the money. Currently, two of our children are there and have thrived! Our littlest is still in elementary school and is also thriving.
Now, the reason I was researching public vs Christian is simply bc. even though we have seen good grow from our children in both environments I have come to question if we are ready to make another change.
If you knew me, your would know… I like life to be the same! It frustrates me to make theses changes and redevelop plans but for the sake of my children, a mother will do anything right?
As I reflect on the spiritual strength I feel I was equipped with by my private christian school upbringing I can not help but wonder if my children would not benefit from the same environment. I have only a few more years left with my son at home and the closer we get to that graduation day the more I desire for him to have an environment of Christian friends and bible classes equipping him before he steps out into the Big Big world.
I will begin my touring next month and though we are looking for a spiritual fulfillment at this stage of growth I also have to consider is this school accredited (he wants to go to pharmacy school)
Ultimately, I have decided environment is everything! Children are growing and they need a place to thrive in socially, academically, spiritually and it may not be one school that offers all of those things but maybe one of those things at the right times during their lives.
Part of me felt guilty for being a school hopper but I read an article that helped put that guilt to rest. I now choose to believe we are exercising adaptation skills that will be necessary for the “real” world lol.
At this point my children will have been exposed to every type of school offered and I have found the only magic formula for us is the contentment and progress of my child.
If I am doing it all wrong… well, I can always say, I didn’t take the easy way. I did my best! and from what I can see my children are happy and thriving in the moment… and that’s really all we have anyway 🙂
I am a student at a Christian high school, and I am attending a Christian college. I do not appreciate you saying people who are in these ‘bubbles’ do not go through real trials.. christians have just as many problems as the next person in a secular school. I believe my Christian college will equip me for the workforce, and my faith will grow. I do not appreciate you saying students do not have “real” problems who go to Christian schools. Very inaccurate and God doesn’t weigh our issues, we are called to bloom where we are planted.
Hi, Kylie. I’m sorry, that was not the intended message of this article at all. This isn’t meant to be a piece about how many trials high school kids have or don’t have at Christan schools, but a warning to Christians parents that private Christian school won’t solve all or prevent all of the trials their kids may face growing up. There are still things to watch out for — and these three are simply three examples of very common things that can happen.
That is exactly what I got from your article! I did homeschool, part home/part public and then a private school. Frankly, we were shocked at our Christian School that there was no one in either of my girls classes (elementary) that had families that even attended church. We were like weird. Birthday party invites were common on Sunday’s. My kids were mocked about it. My part public school/ homeschool experience had twice as many Christian families. My problem is I am a poor homeschooler. I am gifted in Medical not teaching. I need a school. Many if not most in my Church believe we would harm our girls in regular public. The combo school put me in constant service and teaching even others kids which I am not cut out for. So, we are searching and struggling for the right fit. We left our Christian School when inappropriate behavior was be overlooked because of the importance of the family it involved. No behavior like that would have be tolerated at all in public school and would have had some serious consequences. In our case more non Christian’s attended than Christian and that did affect the school. At $12,000 a year for two for at least the next 5 years you expect to have more assurance that it is a healthy environment than the free one down the street.
Wow, this is insightful. My daughter is only starting pre-k this year at her private christian school and she’s been there since 2/3 years old. Im the ONLY one in my family thag attends church regularly and tries to expose our kids to God as much as possible. Hubby doesnt want to, but supports my choice. I did believe i thought keeping her in her private christian school will protect her. I truly do. Im SO afraid reading everyone’s experiences and such that if i put my daughter in public school starting with kindergarten, that she’ll be thrown to the wolves. I cant stop crying from feeling like no matter what, there is a challenge with my life and kids to raise them in the Lord. I pray that whereEVER i send them, that they will have a strong faith and will rely on only me and God to get them through. All they have is me and our church to teach them. This post has given me so much so much anxiety. I just want what’s best for my babies. 😞
Of course you do! And don’t freak out too much, just be smart. If you are the only Christian influence in your home, then Christian school should be so good for them! Just make sure you stay involved 🙂
I had a pastor ones that said during the grammar stage pre-K through six grade you should keep the kids at home than in middle school uses them in a Christian school and then in high school send them to the public when they are ready to be a light. There is nothing wrong with building a strong foundation for kids in a bubble. The entire Jewish community in the Bible operated that way children were taught by their parents they were taught about God nonstop in the home and that’s OK. Whenever you put children in any school you were abdicating authorit to teach your children to the teachers and overseers of those children. Some of these teachers you absolutely do not agree with it all. I think it’s fine to nurture up a child in their foundation years in the way you think is best.
Best comment. 🙌💛
Hello Lauren and anyone with input:
My husband and I have talked about putting our children in Christian school for awhile. I have always been more for it than my husband has (the expense obviously being the largest thing in question). My heart has always been back and forth on the subject because the expense is one we can afford, but one that I’m not sure is worth it. We are seeing a liberal agenda being pushed in public school systems, and are fearful of our child’s future. While we are active in the inside/outside of our home with teaching our children about God, it seems the world is moving further and further away from Him. I do feel like Christians are in a time of trial, and attacked for their beliefs, example: simply not supporting or disagreeing with the LGBTQ movement and what it often entails or abortion “rights.” Recently, the school system district that my husband went to his whole like had a personal development day for certain schools in the district that pushed an unbelievable agenda – slides from a PowerPoint presentation were released saying things like “Black people can’t be racist because they lack authoritative power over white people.” The same school district just accepted their first registered transgender child – in Kindergarten. While, this is the reality of the world we live in, my fear is that I will teach my child Biblical beliefs and send her to a public school that tells her the opposite and doesn’t allow her to voice her opinions without growing condemnation. People I went to high school with went to liberal colleges for education and have come back pushing liberal agendas to impressionable children – a girl I know, now a teacher, asked a room full of high school students if they believed teachers should be armed (I don’t think they should be), and basically told the kids they were stupid for thinking that teachers should be when they all raised their hands, answering “yes.” This is in East Tennessee – a mostly conservative area. Part of me wants my children to flourish in a school that allows them to fellowship with other believers and have the freedom to express their beliefs, but I’m not naive enough to believe that worse things can’t happen in Christian schools than in public schools. It’s also apparent that we need more Christians in public schools – what if my child is the only “church” that another child ever sees? I am heartbroken over the state of the world that are children must experience. It is beyond scary and infinitely perplexing.
I now teach in a jail in our county in central Florida. I have taught in a prison at one time but it was the worst experience I have ever had in my life. I only stayed there for 2 months. I hope to never have to go back to teach in a prison(some do well and really enjoy teaching in prisons). I do enjoy the teaching in the jail but it is such a negative experience sometimes. I am now considering teaching in a Christian school. But, I am indecisive at this time. I am doing a lot of praying about it at this time. I believe I am being led to teach children in the Christian school but again I am somewhat indecisive. There may be some of “I want a change” in my thoughts.
I found your article very, very interesting. I have been quite successful at this jail which is due to the Grace of God and a sheriff who is very supportive and also a living example of a true Christian man. In my opinion, he is a phenomenal Christian man.
I hope no one of those whom have read your article has children who have experienced what some of the inmates have experienced in life. Some of the stories are heartbreaking. I also know that some of the stories are just that, stories.
Thank you for your article and sharing it with us.
Thank you for your input on this issue. My daughter has gone to private Christian school since first grade and had a positive experience until last year (6th grade – middle school). It was a challenging year for many reasons but basically was overshadowed by getting in trouble for first time ever and discipline enforced was severe. To the point that she feels like she is being judged and now wants to go to public. I’m worried she is running away from rather than facing it by wanting a new start and thinking public would be better. I don’t know what to do…middle school is hard at any school. She got in trouble for using bad language once and was suspended for a day for it. She lashed out at someone who had been bullying her. Punishment didn’t seem to fit crime but she admitted she was wrong and finished the year out in good standing. How can I help her move forward.
Thanks for your input.
This was my confirmation! Thank you! I home schooled my daughter up to 7th grade. We chose a Christian school for 7th grade. It was a smooth transition and prepped her for her life’s next stage. We would make the same choice again. Now, for 8th grade I have agonized about putting her back in the school or going public. I too felt that the Christian School was a bubble, but you know what those things you think you’re protecting them from do seep in. I found out after the school year that there was a problem with kids and suicide tendencies. My daughter was oblivious apparently, but still there they were! Wed find that issues are more often hidden than brought to light and as Christians aren’t these things supposed to be brought to light? My husband and I decided 8th grade public school after touring the middle school. There were wings for each grade and they did not intermix at lunch so it has a small feel that we felt would also be another smooth transition from private school. They seemed to have more to offer the kids. The kids need to know how to deal with life and adapt to different personalities with different opinions. Luckily our daughter has always been good with adapting to change. The bubble bursts at some point and we didn’t want it to be a shock. I do find that at our school the kids are still socially awkward. My husband and I both went to different public schools and don’t have good things to say about our experiences. Dear God let it be different for our daughter. Again thank you for this post.
Hey, every school is different and every family is different. You have to do what is best for your family!
I found this article very true in the fact that my Christian education had all of these dangers. My parents weren’t very religious but thought that if they sent me to a Christian school it would protect me from what they didn’t believe in like evolution, comprehensive sex ed classes, and “the failing public school system”. Being in a private school led my entire family into a bubble as they thought the education would help me succeed later on. Unfortunately, when my school shut down due to lack of funding and I was sent to public school, I was wildly unprepared for math and science courses. My teachers would talk about certain parts of evolution and theorems that I should have learned years earlier, and not knowing them would cause embarrassment because everyone else in my class knew about them. Years later, in college, I still struggle with concepts I should have learned when I was younger and I spend much time re-learning things I was taught. I absolutely love science and am a microbiology major but having gaps in my education and a very different experience from most of my peers leads to many awkward office hours conversations with my professors. Another hidden danger I would add to sending your kids to private school is part of the bubble but making sure that your children are getting a good education by overall educational standards and not just the standardized tests of the private school. Not all private schools are as sketchy as mine was though.
I come to all this from a different perspective and unfortunately don’t have a lot of time to write a full response. I was/am a highly-awarded teacher who has taught in LARGE public high schools, small and medium charter schools, and small Christian schools. I have to say that I found the public high schools and charter schools to be head and shoulders above the small Christian schools academically. This even though the administration was constantly badmouthing traditional schools and claiming that its students were years ahead. I heard and experienced AWFUL things in the “Christian” schools: a teacher who yelled out in a meeting, with not so much as a gasp in response from the crowd, “I WANT my children indoctrinated!” Folks, this never works, let me tell you, from having watched HUNDREDS of young people come of age and go off to college (many of whom keep up with me through the years). The indoctrination DOES NOT work. Teach your children to experience things and weigh them with reason and their hearts. I think the most damaging aspect of the Christian schools was the pervasive atmosphere that knowledge, too much of it, was somehow dangerous. There was, oddly and with a bit of irony, a highly ARROGANT notion that knowledge drives one to arrogance, which it most certainly can but this does not justify the stilted and frivolous way academic topics were treated. Believe it or not, and this was the most shocking aspect to me as a believer, I found that the Christian schools were MORE PROGRESSIVE in their teaching methodologies than the traditional schools. Yes, there is much progressive modeling done for teachers in the public schools, but the bureaucratic nature of the enormous beast (haha) allows more teacher autonomy than is typically assumed. The charter schools were FAR less progressive. Comically, the teachers in the Christian schools could not see that their anti-intellectualism (understand this was not all people, but more than was helpful) CONTRIBUTED to their unquestioning acceptance of progressive teaching methods. Overall, I have been personally very happy with my children’s performance in the public schools, for reasons mentioned above by many, most of all that encountering the world as it is actually trains a stronger believer. If I had to say which one was best, it would be the charters (which are public!) when they are governed by intellectually serious leadership.
Thank you for adding this perspective! I think it’s definitely going to depend on the school, but yeah, (some) private schools can definitely get stuck in “this is the way we’ve always done this.” That’s why it’s so important to not JUST choose a school because of the Christian label — but to make sure it’s actually a good school too!
I have seen a couple other dangers, ones that are not addressed in articles like these.
Some people I know sent their kid to a very expensive private Christian school for grades K-12. They struggled to pay for the education. So much that they were unable to save any significant amount for college. Now they are struggling to pay for college at a state school. The amount that went into the primary education could have easily bought 3 or 4 bachelor degrees at an ivy league school. That seems reckless and indulgent to me.
But the real problem I see is, their son, being raised in this oh-so-cushy bubble, had peers made up mostly of kids from very wealthy families. His parents made sure to obscure the fact that they they were not also wealthy like these peers. As a result, he lives in an illusion. He has significant pressure to live large and indulge like his friends. To have expensive taste when in fact, he nor his family can really afford it. My parents would have called this 1) living beyond your means and 2) spoiling the child rotten.
How is this good?
The other thing that confuses me is, Christ ministered to the poor, the sick, the undesirable. How can a school identify itself as a ‘Christian School’ if it is only available to the wealthy, the elite, the ‘desirable’? I realize it takes money to run a school but it certainly sounds more like a private school that claims an environment of Christian-like principles, and is available to the wealthy, the socioeconomic segregationists, maybe even the elitists.
The most dangerous thing I learned as a kid at a private Lutheran (Missouri Synod) school was the concept that every day, I was committing evil on par with Hitler. Beginning in 1st grade, when they taught us the difference between the Catholic church (which gradated sins and provided “indulgences”) and Luther, they heavily emphasized the tenet that all sins are equal, that all sinners are equally sinful. The logical conclusion to a first grader with a brain still in early stages of development was that I was as hideous as a mass murderer. Thus when lessons and bible verses about how “the last shall be first” came, I was fully on board to do everything I could to put myself last. I deserved NOTHING; I was treacherous and evil; the only way to redeem myself was by asking for Christ’s forgiveness, and the only way to receive Christ’s forgiveness was to be fully sincere in my devotion to Christ, to the Word, and to placing others’ needs and wants before my own.
In 2011, I suffered a case of “catastrophic antiphospholipid syndrome,” which is a severe autoimmune reaction causing systemic blood clotting. I suffered two heart attacks and multiple strokes at age 27. During my two weeks in the cardiac ICU, I had a hard time ever pressing the call button to get the nurses’ attention. I knew there were other people in the hospital who were just as much in need as me, and therefore, from the Christian perspective my brain adopted early on, it was my duty to put them first.
My parents, who sent me to the Lutheran school, asked why I wasn’t calling nurses more often even though they encouraged me. I explained to my parents what I learned in school, as explained above. My parents were shocked that the school taught us kids that we were so evil.
My teachers certainly had the best of intentions, and indeed they and other members of the connected church participated very frequently in community service, making almost weekly trips south of the border to Tijuana to help the poorest of the poor. However, with their good intentions came anti-intellectualism. They refused to listen to “worldly” scientists; they refused to such an extent that they themselves did not understand the theory of evolution and taught us students a strawman. When I later did learn the theory of evolution as an adult, I saw that it makes perfect sense, that we have examples of it occurring all around, and that so many of the remaining anti-evolutionists are sadly unaware of their ignorance and at the same time unwilling to accept that they are not experts; they feel expertise but do not have it. If anything, we would expect a Christian school to teach the humility required to recognize when we are NOT experts; instead, my school taught me to take pride in refusing to listen to those scientists with proven expertise. (Take for example my 4th-grade teacher who would not admit that “Earth is large, so it causes gravity to occur” does not explain why gravity exists. Rather than admitting his ignorance of relativistic physics or that he didn’t know what area of physics even explains gravity, he sent me to detention.)
Unfortunately, the anti-intellectualism involved in opposing evolution has transferred over to a distrust of climate science thanks to economic and political forces that appropriate religiosity in America.
I exited my literalist faith via a great deal of bible study in college. Two moments contributed greatly:
1. My uncle, who had been a church organist, came out of the closet and broke his wife’s heart. When she went to my grandma and asked, “do you know why he left me?” my grandmother replied, “yes, I’ve known all along that he’s gay.” I did a lot of research on the pentateuch and Pauline passages Christians use to demonize homosexuality and found that the cases discussed in the bible were more analagous to sexual slavery than the loving relationships we see in gay couples these days.
2. In a religious studies course, one professor presented the parallels between Genesis 1 and the Babylonian creation myth Enuma Elish. Seeing the parallels (six stages of creation, going in the same order, with a 7th stage of rest and peace) and the differences (Genesis having only ONE God creating in peace, while the Babylonian story has many gods at war) emphasizes that the purpose behind Genesis 1 was NOT to lay out a specific history of the universe’s creation but instead to emphasize that Jews follow the one and only God that exists. AND! This helps us reconcile the fact that Genesis 1 and Genesis 2 have different timelines. Neither was a factual history. Jews today understand this. A strain of American Christianity for some reason eschewed connection to thousands of years of sacred-text interpretation and began reading Genesis 1 as though it were a strictly factual history. Recognizing how my Lutheran school/church strayed from the original intentions of biblical authors, I then set about studying the text without the literalist trappings.
Since then, one of my classmates from the Lutheran school committed suicide; another, who had clearly been gay since kindergarten, attended a camp to try to force himself to be straight. We learned some evil stuff that taught us to hate ourselves; it damaged basic elements of our humanity, specifically because we learned it so young.
To any parent interested in sending kids to such a school, I’d ask that you pay close attention to what the student is learning and think in terms of psychological development just as much as spiritual.
Yikes! That’s awful!
I went to a Christian college. Not only did I experience much sexual harassment but also stalking by my ex-boyfriend and because the college was so small I could never get away from someone who wanted to harm me. Eventually, I was told I needed counseling and they started me on anxiety meds which to this day I am still on. After feeling extremely judged by all of my so-called friends and even all of my professors, I was told to let all that abuse go and be friends with my abusive ex. In addition, I was VERY unprepared for the real world. When I got to graduate school I had no idea how to handle different ideas and theologies than my own (a large part of graduate school is voicing opinions and seeing both sides of an argument in an unbiased way). Also, I had no idea how to handle being around friends who partied and drank so I ended up spending several nights and days throwing up without realizing this was something other people knew from high school and college partying. Needless to say, I am still struggling with fitting into society and balancing scientific views with my faith in addition to finding and maintaining healthy relationships. My faith probably was more destroyed than enhanced from this experience. I have to say I agree with you wholeheartedly about being in a bubble and not handling issues which may arise when faced with challenges outside of Christianity.
Oh no! I’m so sorry you had to go through that! That’s not okay!
This is very true!!!! To me every school is the same besides you having to pay extra for maybe 10 kids less in class. Also most are sent to private school with no Christian background, but to only think it is the best. Let me elaborate so if you go to a private school most of the parents are wasting money on education with a lot of kids who do not have any family Christian habits etc…. or even a Catholic which means you pay more. This is so comical to me!!! I was Christian raised and I went to a public K-12 and I succeeded in education and college with no judgemental hypocrites, living and enjoying life. I have had a lot of friends who went to private schools and they are all drug addicted or not here anymore that I had to dismiss my self from. Maybe at times trying to be better or thinking a small class and all the extra fees is excellent and you think your doing the right thing for your children you also may think they are just trying to make you happy as a parent, but to be honest most of them are frighten to let their feelings out because they will be judged!!
No one is perfect ever and to me private school is a waste of money for a lot parents who pay and do not talk to their kids because they think the private will teach all that….
Wrong-again rich parents, trips etc…. they always think they are all okay. Reality your wrong most of the kids are only trying to please you, because you think everything is suppose to be perfect, because either you didn’t or couldn’t do it… or maybe they are scared to speak up with their own feelings.
Always listen to your kids and make them feel comfortable to be them selves and dress who and who they want to be if you don’t your relationship is lost through AKA money talks also selfishness because they watched the parents actions as well as private school living. It’s called private for a reason always keep private!!!! Bubble living
Well, while I don’t think public schools are always a perfect solution, I wouldn’t go so far as to say “every school is the same” or that they’re a waste of money. My children go to a great private school–much better than the public schools in our area–and we’re really happy there. So there are good and bad schools on both sides. My only concern is that we don’t think private schools are ALWAYS automatically better, because they’re not. (Nor or all public schools automatically better, either…)
I want to thank everyone that’s made comments on here. My wife and I are prayerfully considering putting our 5 year old in a Christian school. Neither of us went to a Christian school, as I didn’t make my decision until age 19. We do have deep relationships with some sisters in Christ that have been teachers in Christian schools. It’s through them that we discovered Christian schools have their share of problems.
My experience with public schools is certainly short of anything godly. By 4th grade friends and I from school would steal cigarettes from parents, steal alcohol, and by 7th grade were dabbling with marijuana. The girls hearts that I broke still come up even to this day, wishing I had the opportunity to apologize for how I made them feel.
Now things are different. We’ve since decided to follow Jesus and years later we’ve got 3 kids – 5, 2, and 4 months. My wife reminded me that registration for next year was coming up at the local elementary school. I just didn’t feel a peace about that at all! This had been on my mind for a while, but I wasn’t diligent, and now it’s here. Putting our child in a Christian school is going to be a very heavy burden financially – but not impossible.
Here’s my point of view, and please anyone comment on this…
Why would I send my children somewhere 8 hours a day to learn about something that isn’t eternal? I sure spent a lot of time in school and in college learning about stuff that really just doesn’t matter. What if I could have been learning how to live like Jesus? What if I could have been learning practical applications on reaching the lost? What if I could have been learning how to listen to that still small voice? Why fill my children’s heads up with garbage! The public school system certainly made me literate – but didn’t tell me there was an invisible enemy that hated me and wanted to see me dead! 1 Year after high school, boom I’m a cocaine addict. Allllllll that education – didn’t see that coming! Praise God for the miracles that got me to realize there is a God, and that he made me just the way I am.
We can’t get away from sin, it’s everywhere. But I certainly don’t think we should throw the baby out with the bath water even though private Christian schools (or wait – people) have problems.
I saw a facebook video of the Christian students singing praises to God during some kind of school activity, and I thought – wow, we certainly didn’t do that at my school. To me, that’s worth every penny in my bank account.
I found this article trying to find an answer and clarity to my prayers. My daughter has gone to a Christian Private school for 5 years now. The school itself was definitely a God send and answer to prayers when we were moved to N.C. specifically looking for a good school to put our daughter into. The schools and area we came from was quickly becoming riddled with drugs and is now none as the heroin capital of the US. Unfortunately this year I have begun to question whether this school is the right place for my daughter. The school itself is definitely not an impenetrable bubble as my child was having conversations about sex last year in the 2nd grade, bullied in her TK year by 1st graders, and made to feel less than this year by her teacher because her grades and focused has slipped significantly. I have considered public school heavily for next year. Currently she has been enrolled in her current school and public school for next year I have not unenrolled her from the private school because I am so scared I am doing the wrong thing by throwing her into an unknown environment. We have spoken to her about it and she is highly open to public school because she feels like her private school is not the same as it was. I tend to agree. Of the 5 years I have paid for we have only had 2 good years at that school. But I also hate allowing a 10 year old to make so a big decision and no matter how much I pray I haven’t felt at peace with either option. I’m just looking for guidance. I have always felt like an outsider when it comes to the other moms at my daughters school. I am a young, unmarried mother with tattoos and I always feel like I’m looked at as a charity case. Even though I pay the same tuition as they do. Because of that I don’t have a relationship with any of them to confide in about this subject. I’m so worried I’m going to make the wrong choice for my family and daughter.
Alora
I am so glad that you made this post yesterday.
When you feel something deep in your gut, go for it. God puts these feeling in you heart. You have to have the best interests of your child, your gift from God, to move forward. Thank you for sharing and I wish I had you to talk with this last year!
My child attends Christian school as well for the last 2 years. The first year was wonderful. The teacher was amazing, nurturing and the best teacher in the world.
This year has been a total nightmare. The teacher is is ok as a person but her teaching practices are terrible. She lacks a lot of nurturing skills and from what I can see she had no problems making the children feel sad. Her expectations for children of a certain age are unreasonable. She doesn’t see the negative impact she has on children with the some of the methods that she uses to teach. I spoke with the school but the teacher can ‘do no wrong’. They made me feel awful. This Christian school teacher is not progressive and this people in charge are not willing to ask the teacher to make the necessary changes to improve. This teacher will always be held in her negative pattern.
So because I spoke up and said something to put thing right I am now the ‘awkward parent’. All the teachers must have talked about it because I feel it when I walk into the school. I confided in one of the parents who ran to the person in charge and told her what I had confided in her. It has just gone from bad to worse. The total point has been missed and that is children need to be nurtured and made to feel listened to.
Because of this we have chosen to send our child to the public school. We are nervous but we will do it because the principal at the private school does not listen or take action. She is happy to allow the negative teaching methods to continue.
We pray every day that something will change for the next class that is taught by this teacher. We pray that God will speak to her heart.
I hope you find the courage to move your child to the public school and if that doesn’t work there are other private schools out there. Go with your heart.
I”m not a mother or a wife but I like this post! I have been thinking so much about the Churches that I have known harping on Christian education being the way (the homeschooling or private school kind) and are staunchly against public schools. However, don’t parents have the right to have a say in what the teacher teach their children? I mean shouldn’t there be opportunities to check out the public schools to find out more about them and discuss with the teachers what they don’t want their children to learn (evolution, reading questionable books like Harry Potter). I agree with teachers teaching sex education to an extent and by that I mean teaching about sexual abuse and body safety because, let’s face it, Mom and Dad may be the sexual abusers of the child so the child is not going to be taught those things from the parents.
What if the public school is the only option? Especially if we are talking about single parents. I heard a preacher say, “Christian education doesn’t cost it pays.” but what if you don’t have the money to shell out for private school unless God gives you a way to pay for it? What if you have more than one child? It’s not a lack of faith to ask these questions it’s being realistic. God can’t open doors for you to get a better job if you don’t have the experience and education to do that better paying job. Even if you could get a better job it might mean that it eats up way too much of your time and take you away from other important things in your life.
For some parents they may be able to home school their children by covering the basics of education, in some subjects at least, not every parent is a brainiac. Maybe the parents themselves had difficulty learning. Unless they got a homeschooling curriculum that was detailed enough to teach what you cant teach, maybe. Even then your child may still need guidance. So other types of schooling could be necessary later on. Homeschooling, I think, could have an advantage for children who are having difficulty learning subjects. It would allow them to go at their own pace.
Another thing to consider is that children have a natural curiosity for learning and exploring. Unfortunately, sometimes certain schooling methods, and people, can extinquish that enthusiasm. I’m told that Montessori schools don’t do that they allow children to explore what they want to learn but it is a private school. Public schools are not always the best for children who are slow since they have to keep up with everyone else and it will be a complete bore for children who are ahead of the class in which case they could skip a grade.
I found the Christian school to be non-responsive to change and when speaking to the person charge and telling them the way the teacher is making the children feel the response was “awe she does it with love and you know she doesn’t get paid very much”.
Making a children cry or feel sad every day is not my idea of giving love. The method is unnecessary we should be building these children up and making them feel strong confident human beings not crushing their spirits. Who knew how their blindness can crush a child’s confidence. What short sited teaching practices. All I can do is pray.
We have just come away from a not great experience at a Christian school. I think you’re right on the money when you say that there will still be “junk” that creeps in. No child is perfect, they all make poor decisions, no matter where they go to school. What matters is how this stuff is handled by staff when it becomes an issue. If the school has staff who are educated on child development at all ages, and are knowledgeable and experienced on how to deal with conflicts fairly, all well and good, hopefully. If not, that’s an unhealthy environment that can really drag some kids down.
I go to a private Catholic high school where almost everyone is kind, caring, and considerate. And I still became an atheist! Honestly Catholic schools are kind of a stupid concept. I would ask my parents to transfer me to a public school now if I didn’t have such great friends and teachers there. I will definitely be going to a secular college.
I’m sorry to hear that the experience wasn’t a pleasant one for you 🙁
I have taught in christian schooling and been involved in many different christian schools for decades. If I had my time overagain, I would not have put the money I spent into a mortage and sent my kids to the local schools instead of staying in a less desirable area and sending my children to christian schooling and having a reduced quality of life with the endless $$$
I thought it was the best option at the time but have discovered that it has inoculated more young adults against christianity instead of educating them in it
The standard of education also varies considerabley. Some are OK others are way below standard and the kids get a poor but expensive education. They are well presented have great uniforms and good manners but there isn’t much substance behind it. Many fall away from the faith when they hit the real world as they have no resources to deal with it other than being told to “stay with like minded people and stay in church”
Most teachers have signed a legal agreement not to say anything negetive about the school,so you are unlikely to get a straight or honest answer when you bring your concerns to them. They are very good at skirting issues, passing the buck, administering bandaid solutions and shaming the parents for daring to tell it as it is. The parents expect that the christian principles they live their lives by will apply to the the school and its administration. The schools talk big about accountability but most of it applies only to the parents and the students not to them at all. The schools have lawyers to protect them and lookout if you dare to cross them.
Many staff quietly leave christian education as they can’t deal with the difference between the principles that they say they are teaching and what is really happening. Many also struggle with following the company line and telling obviouss lie to parents,but they have no alternative if they want to keep their job or have a chance at employment elsewhere.
The schools maybe attached to churches but most are now run strictly as businesses, even though they have that nice feeling that they are all one big happy family praying for one another and supporting each other.
Like others have said, here there are plenty of kids in christian schools who are doing all the things that other youth are doing in the everyday ordinary world. many in the higher years are living one life outside of school and living a different one in school and in front of their parents. This doesn’t make for a good young adulthood or a good parent /child relationship.
If you have doubts about your childrens christian school trust yourself and your natural instincts.
I know of many parents who have been “feared out “of removing their kids from christian schools due to how aweful they think the alternative is.
If it isn’t working for your kid, remove them as the damage done can be considerable and it is hard to undo once the damage is done. If your kids are basically honest and they tell you unpleasant truths about their school BELIEVE THEM.
The system is poorly regulated and has a lot to answer for,but no one is going to say that to you because being christian covers all the problems for many people.
As a business they are good at the face they present to the world and they have a LOT of experience with managing parents. They beat you with experience. There is a lot of money tied up in christian eduaction now and it has changed many of the founding principles of christian education. .
I’m sorry that was your experience
I’m putting my children in a private Christian Daycare and school until they’re in the 2nd grade. The only reason I’m putting them in private Christian school first is so the can build a strong foundation and relationship with Jesus first. That’s what my parents did and it worked out great. Because I grew up learning and loving Jesus first I had a strong connection to him. So as I grew up through my childhood years and as a teenager I would always pray and go to him if I needed some strength or help. It’s building that strong relationship with Jesus first that I want for my child, then they can go to a public school.
That sounds like a good plan!
Finally someone said it. The only reason for school these days is babysitting and socialization. Otherwise it’s completely useless. Proof: literacy rates were HIGHER before mandatory public schooling in the U.S. And that was BEFORE the internet.
I lived in a school district that has very good public schools academically. Unfortunately, they are liberal and teach about sex but not really abstinence, they also teach about gender identity, LGBTQ, etc. The private Christian schools I am looking at are academically inferior. SAT scores at the public school are about 200 points higher than the private Christian school. So it is really the choice between high level academics with godlessness or more of a godly community but average academics. I am praying about what would be best for my son. He is very gifted and needs an above average academic program, but I would also like him to have the sense of community found in the Christian school