Does God Care What You Wear to Church?
Come as you are or show some respect–which is correct? Does God care what you wear to church? Find the real answer here.
Growing up, I was raised to dress very conservatively at church.
Not only was my grandfather a preacher, but we also attended a church that was pretty legalistic.
I remember, in middle school, judging the girls whose skirts didn’t extend below their knees. Didn’t they know that wearing skirts that hit right above the knee made them look “available??” (for lack of a better word).
I was absolutely stunned the first time we attended a different church and one of the girls was wearing short shorts. This was church! Why wasn’t she dressed in her Sunday best??
Even now, as a grown-up, I have a difficult time not dressing up for church.
I’ve worn jeans a handful of times — when I was majorly pregnant and that was the only thing that fit — but that’s about it. It’s just habit. I don’t particularly care what anyone else is wearing, but I feel weird if I don’t dress up at least a little.
I stopped thinking much about it — figured it was mostly a matter of personal preference — until I spoke with some other Christians who were pretty passionate what I asked, “Does God care what to wear to church?” So I figured I’d better address the issue as well.
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Related Reading: Is Going to Church Really Necessary?
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- How do I apply the Bible’s instructions to my life today?
- Where is God calling me personally?
- How can I make a difference right where I am?
- How should I navigate relationships with those who think, act, or believe differently than I do?
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Does God Care What You Wear to Church? Well… Yes and No.
Honestly, I think “What is appropriate to wear to church?” is the wrong question. Not only does it completely miss the point, but when you try to narrow down exactly what styles/cuts/fits/lengths are and are not appropriate, you’re pretty much guaranteed to wind up in a legalistic mess. Plus, it doesn’t take into account various circumstances and situations.
For example:
Does God care what you wear to church for…
- The divorced man who is finally ready to attend church for the first time in years, but the nicest thing he owns is a pair of ripped up jeans and a wrinkly old t-shirt. Should he not come?
- The party girl who is fed up with her current lifestyle and ready to make a change, but the nicest thing in her closet is still pretty risque. Should she not come?
- The tired mom who barely made it out of the house, who didn’t have the energy for yet another clothing battle this morning. Should she not come?
- The family who is desperately struggling to make ends meet, but who has chosen to tithe faithfully even if it means they go without nice clothes. Should they not come?
The truth is, wearing nice clothes doesn’t make you a better Christian, or more holy, or any of that nonsense. In fact, wearing nice clothes may even interfere with our ability to be good little Christians when it steals our focus or makes others uncomfortable.
I love how Pamela Hodges writes in her article, Today was Easter and I almost didn’t go to church. You might be surprised why:
“When we meet Jesus in the long line to get into heaven, he won’t be asking us, “Did you wear a pastel Easter dress to church on Sunday?””
How sad to think that people all over the country miss out on church every Sunday simply because they don’t have the “right” clothes to wear! In these cases, does God care what you wear to church or that you are simply showing up to church?
Furthermore, NOT wearing nice clothes can actually be the most loving thing to do sometimes, as Amy Reasoner points out in her thought-provoking post, Why I’m wearing the same thing I wore last Easter (and it’s not a dress):
“That’s when it hit me – Easter is also a Sunday when people who do not regularly attend church are most likely to set foot through your doors. And I knew in that moment that if someone visited our church in jeans on Easter, I most certainly didn’t want them to be the only one.” And she’s a pastor’s wife!
Interesting…
Or consider 1 Samuel 16:7, which says:
“But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
But the truth is, there is a big difference between someone who comes to church in clothes that aren’t as nice because they don’t have the time, energy or money and someone who comes to church in clothes that aren’t as nice because they are lazy.
And honestly, don’t most of us fall into that second category more often than we’d like to admit?
We don’t think about preparing for Sunday (or Saturday night, depending on when you go to church) until it gets here, and so when church time rolls around, we pretty much grab whatever we can find that’s reasonably clean and head out the door.
I know I’ve worn a shirt with a stain on it on more than one occasion because, for some reason, Sunday morning is the ONLY time I ever remember that all of my white shirts that match the skirts that still fit my big, pregnant belly have stains on them…
(For the record, the issue has since been remedied…)
We dress up for date nights with our husbands. We dress up for back to school night to meet our children’s teachers. We dress up to impress our friends when we get a girls’ night out. But it’s too much to ask to dress up for one hour a week to meet with the King of Kings?
Ask yourself, “What should I wear to church?” Then decide why you should or shouldn’t dress up. Again, not that dress matters–it doesn’t–but it just shows where our heart is at.
When you go to church, do you find yourself asking, “Does God care what you wear to church?” Do you treat it as something special, something sacred? Or is it just another day?
Do you prepare your heart ahead of time, or do you just show up? Do you remember that you’re meeting the King of Kings, or is it just another thing on your to-do list? When you get dressed, are you thinking about what will make YOU look good and draw attention to you, or are you thinking about the One you are there to see?
THESE are the questions we need to be asking ourselves. And when we do, appropriate things to wear to church will follow.
So, personally, I’m going to keep wearing long maxi-skirts with white t-shirts and flip flops. It’s dressed up enough to be nice, but not so dressed up that it would be uncomfortable or distracting. It’s modest and it’s practical (I can walk, kneel, stand, chase children etc. without worry).
And when I see other people wearing things I maybe wouldn’t pick, I’m not going to judge. I’m just going to think “I’m glad you’re here” and know that God is too. Even if they’re wearing short shorts. Because I don’t know their heart or their circumstances. Only God does.
Dive Deeper Into God’s Calling in Your Life (Beyond Sundays!)
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Practical, encouraging, and full of biblical truth, Follow God’s Will is designed to help you answer questions including:
- What does God want me to do?
- How do I apply the Bible’s instructions to my life today?
- Where is God calling me personally?
- How can I make a difference right where I am?
- How should I navigate relationships with those who think, act, or believe differently than I do?
- And so many more!
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Related Reading: How Can I Get My Kids Excited About Church?
Have you ever asked yourself, “Does God care what you wear to church?” How did you answer that? What do you wear to church?
Thank you for this. I just very recently started attending church as a new Christian and my kids and I havc been discussing what is appropriate for church and what isn’t. I like this way to look at it so thank you.
Glad to be able to help! Setting boundaries can be so, so tricky, but once your kids get old enough, if you start asking the right questions, you can really get them thinking, and that’s way more effective.
The word of God disagrees with you on some of your opinions. Deuteronomy 22:5 says The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord they God. Pants are worn by men; skirts and dresses are worn by women; it’s that simple. You don’t have to have the most beautiful clothes; that’s not what the Lord is talking about, but anyone can go to a second hand store and find some very nice skirts and/or dresses for practically nothing. We should never come into the Lord’s house in short shorts! The outward appearance is an extension of what’s in the heart. Ye shall know them by their fruits. Short shorts are seductive and for showing off the body. Not something that should be worn in the Lord’s house of worship. Short shorts are worn by women to entice men (the attire of a Harlot). Read Proverbs 7:5-23. As Christians, we are not to dress like the world, but come apart from the world and walk as Christ walked in holiness, living our lives for his praise honor and glory. And we are to reverence his house of worship. Praise be to God!
Sally Folwer,
You have rightly said, “As Christians, we are not to dress like the world, but come apart from the world and walk as Christ walked in holiness, living our lives for his praise honor and glory. And we are to reverence his house of worship. Praise be to God!”
But the point being made here is this, “The party girl who is fed up with her current lifestyle and ready to make a change, but the nicest thing in her closet is still pretty risque. Should she not come?”
I offer some food for thought, Jesus always accepts people as they are. In John 6, the people had come from miles around to hear Jesus. When the crowd became hungry, He miraculously fed them with a boy’s unselfish gift of five loaves and two fish. Then the Lord offered Himself as “the bread of life,” promising that He would not turn away anyone who came to Him.
It’s still true today. No one who comes to Jesus will be turned away. Come to Him with all your sin. He’ll accept you just as you are.
I’m sure after her acceptance of Jesus, the Holy Spirit will convict her of her attire. I certainly know that if a person entered my church not one person would point to said young lady and yell “Whore of Babylon!” No, you see, our church is not a museum for “good” people. It is a hospital for the broken. I know my pastor and his wife would welcome her, speak kindly to her and (The Lord is ALWAYS willing) she will accept Christ into her heart.
Remember, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”
Blessings to you in Christ
I agree with you,
I would add to this, that what is the most important before going to chuch is the preparation of the heart.
Do we take time every day to think of what the Lord is for his Father and for us? what he did? Then ou heart would be warm enough to have the growing desire to please him in everything
Each of us has a different background, different habits, different tastes and lives in a different cultural environment.
We have the privilege to have a Savior full of understanding, of patience, and most willing to help us grow spiritually.
Wouldn’t it be possible to ask him how HE would like us to be dressed with, and to change our thoughts and our tastes if they do not match with his.
Then, it would not be a problem at all, because we do what we like. Our heart would be at peace, free and full of joy: the joy of a young bride who pleases his loved one.
Nothing to do with a law. Everything to do with love .
Love for Chrst; love for our brothers and sisters.
What is now the best thing to wear? will my pants, my dress be a hindrance for my brother, so that he cannot pray?
For the elderly person who would be sad? etc…
Than, what the others around us do, would not be a problem either,
When we are full of love, it’s for everybody!
We would pray for them, profoundly desiring that they, too, have te same joy and freedom to please the Lord and take care of our relationships.
Of course, God will not tell you to wear unmodestly (excuse me, I don’t know if this word exist; I’m French!). Besides, God shows us, it is important for him to see a clear difference between a woman and a man.
But do not think that the Lord will ask you to be the exact opposite of the person he created! you are unique …and your sister too!
And your new nature agrees totally with God’s tastes. The ancient one, who has other desires is dead in God’s eyes, and we have the right and the possibility to leave it there: nailed at the cross by faith, with the help of the Holy Spirit.
This is what I desired to share with my sisters, because I experience the freedom that this attitude gives in our life. It is a great key for every sector of our life, nearer and nearer to the heart of God our Father and of our dear Lord Jesus Christ.
It’s really worth living. It’s a most blessed life.
Will you try it?
.
I still agree with Sally Fowler. No, the party girl should not go to Mass until she sells her risque clothing (thereby proving her repentance) and with her money buys a suitable dress in which to appear before God. I have had men tell me that they sin by lust when they see such women dressing immodestly in church and this has caused them to refrain from attending services. Is their soul not to be considered as equal to the soul of the party girl? Should she be allowed to cause others to sin? If she is sincere about her change of heart, then she will want to abide by Christ’s will. Repentance comes with a change of heart that is outward and inward.
That’s legalism, though–to expect people to change BEFORE they can come to Christ. Jesus never expected people to have everything together before they came to him. He loved people as they were, and then loved them too much to let them stay that way. Yes, he told people to “Go and sin no more” but that was AFTER they had their “come to Jesus moment.”
If we were all capable of change without Jesus–what would we need Jesus for? It’s *through* him we change, not before.
Not true, In fact, what you write is casuistry. One does not need to be in Church to encounter Christ. But one is held responsible for leading others into sin. A “party girl” does not first go to church dressed in scanty clothing and then encounter Christ. She first gets an inkling that she ought, then she either responds or rejects that inkling (grace). God remains always available to all of us, but it is we who deny Him the right to act in our lives. One way we do this is by refusing to submit to His will, which is love and mercy itself. He did not appreciate the money changers defiling His Father’s house. Why should we believe that He would appreciate pagan dress in His Father’s house?
What about the woman that does not know about such “dress codes”, the one that God is yet to win her heart? Of course I don’t expect her to sell her clothes right then and there but when the Lord wins her heart, then she will dress accordingly. How would we treat her when she comes into God’s house not “dressed appropriately” is what could potentially be worst than a woman wearing a shirt above her knees. We have to love people where they are in certain seasons in life, (knowing that they are still a work in progress as us all) invite them in our circle and then influence them otherwise.
IT’S NICE TO SEE WOMEN ARE HERE ON THE INTERNET ,SO THIS IS HOW I HAVE FELT FOR A WHILE IN 1982 I RETURN TO CHURCH AFTER MANY YRS IN THE WORLD;FIRST I ASK GOD TO TAKE THE TASTE OF CIGRETTES OUT OF MY MOUTH AND I PROMISED TO LIVE FOR HIM ALWAYS AND MY ONE THINGS IS I BELIEVE WE SHOULD DRESS FOR THE LORD SO I HAVE WORE PANTS BUT HAVE FELT REALLY GUILTY;SO AS FOR ME I THINK I SHOULD LOOK LIKE A LADY IN A DRESS;
Not trying to be a smartalec here, honest! The quote about men’s clothes and women’s’ clothes. In Yeshua’s day, men wore robes and tallits. I can understand not going into the men’s section and buying men’s clothing to take on that role, but doesn’t the culture come into play here or Christian men would still be wearing robes, etc? This is a serious question.
I would also like to add that keping in mind when Deuteronomy was written, men did not wear pants but robes,which look suspiciously like dresses. Therefore, it follows that if you use Deut 22:5 to back your argument that men must wear only pants and women must wear only skirts/dresses then I respectfully suggest that your conclusion is invalid.
Also, I would like to know where you stand on the issue of cultural norms. Does your interpretation of Deuteronomy mean that a Scotsman is not allowed into your church wearing his kilt? Or that a Coptic Christian wearing a djellaba is not welcome?
I do not mean to sound flippant. I would just like to understand your position on it.
Amen! Perfectly put.
I agree with Sally Fowler. It came out to show that I agreed with someone else. Just clarifying.
Thanks for this post, Brittany! I really appreciate your stance on this sensitive issue. It is wrong for us to judge people based on their appearance. Instead, we need to be welcoming them and loving them as Christ would have done. On the flip side, I am concerned with a growing trend that I am seeing in churches of young teen girls, who have grown up in Christian homes, coming dressed in extremely short shorts or skirts that are next to impossible to sit down in. I don’t want to be judgmental, but I think our girls need to understand that they can be a stumbling block to many people when they are dressed in this way. Do you have any thoughts on modesty in the church and how to address these issues? Thanks!
Anna, below are a couple links that may help your conversations. Both are from a Catholic perspective, but the principles are still the same. The first is a woman telling her story about coming to understand what modesty is. That the point of modesty is not to cover ourselves up, but to let our true self shine. The second is a great video about a couple Catholic families who willingly dress up for Mass every week and why.
(link no longer available)
https://vimeo.com/132896968
Good articles! Thanks for sharing!
Honestly, that’s very tricky, and it depends on your relationship with the girls. If you were their parent or teacher, then a conversation would be necessary and appropriate, but if not, there may be little you can really do. You might politely mention the issue to someone in charge of them, like a youth group leader?
I was taught that you always dress up when you are on the platform, and have to admit some of the casual attire behind the pulpit bothers me. I understand the attempt to be accessible to seekers, but don’t want our casual approach to offend a holy God. The whole concept of dressing your best for church is about showing respect for our Lord, not about legalism or judgement. I believe the Lord is more concerned about the condition of our hearts than what we wear. The person sitting the pew dressed to the nines might have a hard heart or hidden sin, while the young woman in the short skirt or the guy in the ripped jeans might be sincerely looking for an encounter with God. If you are dressing up to show your love to the Lord, I believe He is pleased. If you are dressing up to impress others or to feel superior, I don’t think He would be pleased.
I agree, and the issue of whether pastors can dress down in a tricky one. They definitely don’t want to alienate people who come in off the streets, but pleasing God is way more important than that. It’s tricky.
I was just thinking about this recently! I too prefer to dress up for Sunday Mass, especially if I’m attending the traditional Latin Mass. It’s not about me being “better” than someone else. It’s about what I can do to please God.
When you asked this question a few weeks ago on Facebook, there was a great debate about what’s more important: that the person is there or that they dressed nice. I think most of us agreed the first step is getting them through the doors, the second step is getting them to recognize what’s happening. Like you said, when you ask the right questions, appropriate dress will follow.
One thing I specifically thought of, is that while God will never love anyone more (after all, how can you love more than infinitely unconditional love?) than someone else, he might be more PLEASED with one person. For example, you love your children infinitely and unconditionally, but there are moments where you are more pleased with one than the other. It’s not a matter of love, but just that one is doing something pleasing and the other isn’t. Maybe one made breakfast for mother’s day and the other forgot to even get a card. You don’t love that child any less, but you’re more pleased with the one who made the effort.
I think the same is true with God. He’s abundantly pleased with us when we show up to offer our prayers to him. But he is even more pleased when we make a greater effort for him than we might want. Going that extra mile (and only God an us truly know if we have) to honor him is more pleasing than just showing up and going through the motions. Don’t believe me? Review the story of Cain and Abel. Abel gave God his very best, and God was greatly pleased. Cain withheld his best, and God was disappointed. He didn’t love Cain any less, but he was certainly more pleased with Abel’s offering.
Great point. It doesn’t make us any “better” but it does matter just because it shows our heart.
Thank you for addressing this topic. I agree wholeheartedly. What you do speaks loudly about how you feel about something. When I work out in the yard I throw on just any old thing because it is just going to get messed up anyway. When I go to a job interview I spend time and money on the perfect outfit that might help get that job. Going on a date with that special person means lots of time spent getting ready. To dress appropriately for what you are going to do is important. How much effort you put into how you look reflects how much that person or event means to you and the importance of them or it.
It absolutely does, which is why we have to examine ourselves and make sure we are giving God the time and attention He deserves. But, on the other hand, we truly don’t know others’ situation, so we can only really judge ourselves, not others.
What a great post. I found your blog through the FB blogger inspire group. Our family wears our Sunday Best. And I agree that we should give him our best. But it’s equally important to teach our children that everyone else is probably wearing their Sunday best too. Dressing nice for church is an outward expression of our inner commitment. But as always we should be concerned with our commitment and relationship with our Savior, and not what others are wearing or doing. And we should be welcoming, like He would be…
Thanks for the encouraging word!
“Dressing nice for church is an outward expression of our inner commitment.” <--love this! And you're very welcome. Glad you found us 🙂
It is a difficult task to decide how to dress for church. I was raised in the Romani Catholic Church and we wore dresses and hats or veils to cover our heads and no shoulders bare or short skirts. Then in the 80 ‘s things began relaxing and hats and veils were no longer required. (I am not so sad to see those go). The philosophy was inclusion of everyone even if they dressed casually. Now it has degraded to whatever is handy, no thought. God loves and accepts us as we are. However as Brittany stated if we prepare our clothes for a special dinner, or party, or business meeting shouldn’t we do the same to spend time with God. I agree we don’t know others circumstances so do not judge others. And don’t dress up to impress everyone with your new designer purse or suit, that is not the respectful thing to do. We are to shine only as a reflection of God not for our glory. The issue of modesty is bothersome to me. Shorts and stresses and skirts that barely cover the body are distracting. Tops that are too tight or reveal too much are also very distracting and sometimes embarrassing. While God knows every fiber of our being we don’t need to show that to our neighbors. So this a tough debate just come as you are or plan to wear something you thing would honor your Savior? It leaves us with a lot to think about.
I agree, outfits like those can be quite distracting (and my young children are distracting enough! lol). But honestly, all you can do is dress appropriately yourself and let others sort out the matter between them and God. and pray. Prayer is always good 🙂
We are from Northern Ireland, UK, but have also lived in the US for 3 years and Belgium for 6 years.
So I have seen people from all walks of life enter a church building and all types of clothes. Often what amazed me was the people with the least money would always make sure they were clean and wearing respectable clothes but often those who could afford more were the ones who made little effort. We do need to look past the clothes but we also need to teach our children what gives off a friendly yet respectable attitude and sometimes the clothes are part of that.
Absolutely. We need to teach our children (whose circumstances we DO know), while not judging others (whose circumstances we do NOT know).
Yes, just as all our “holiness” and acts of righteous flow FROM our love for God and are not REQUIREMENTS for being loved by God, we dress in a manner that reflects our desire to honor God. Thanks for your balanced and loving approach to this sticky topic.
Well, you are very welcome! Thanks for taking the time to comment!
So many great points! I too grew up having to dress up on Sunday, so for years I didn’t let my husband dress comfortably in jeans or shorts. (Shorts? In church? Are you nuts?) I relaxed some, as our church is casual, but it still feels weird to me 🙂
lol, same here. I don’t really care what others wear, but I don’t know if I could wear shorts myself.
I grew up in a time that you dressed up on Sundays & Wednesdays. I have 3 sisters, my mother sewed, so 95% of our clothing was handmade. It took me a long time to wear dress slacks, and a nice top. Now, I have a teenage daughter, that doesn’t particularly like to wear dresses, but, times have changed so much, that church is very casual, & this is just my opinion, maybe too casual. I try not to judge others and what they wear, but sometimes I see the attire of some ladies, young & old, some of them are people them are in ministries, what happened to modesty?