3 Steps to Overcoming Anger as a Christian

Anger … it is a God-given emotion that we all deal with in our lives. But what do we do when that emotion gets a grip on us and becomes our “go-to” reaction in most circumstances? We want to live a life that is pleasing to Christ, yet we fail time and time again, because of the way we react to the conflicts life throws our way.

 

Step One: Recognize Your Anger and What it Stems From

Did you grow up in an angry household? Children learn the behaviors that are modeled to them, even when they know those behaviors aren’t the way they should be. If the people who influenced you most as a child modeled anger in reaction to issues big and small, then it is quite possible that this became a part of your reactive process. In other words, “you learn what you live.”

Oftentimes, we repeat negative behaviors that we have learned from others. These generational curses continue to be passed down until someone along the way decides that the buck stops with them, and they are going to do something to change the way they react.

Before you can change the way you react, you must first recognize and acknowledge the anger, and that it is out of control. This requires honesty and humility within yourself, and a desire to allow God to change you from the inside out. It also requires repeated prayer, perseverance, and accountability.

To step out of this stronghold and into the freedom God offers, we must often remind ourselves of Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.”

 

Step Two: Accept How Your Anger Is Affecting Those Around You

Do those closest to you shy away from sharing negative news with you out of fear of how you will react? Does their body language reveal their fear when they have to face you in a conflict?

Our hostile reactions to even the smallest of situations can cause havoc on our relationships. If we don’t do something to change our responses, people will stop having any expectation of us other than a negative response. They literally lose hope in ever getting any other kind of feedback.

This is discouraging, to us and to them. This causes a break in communication. If we are not careful, especially when dealing with our own children, we can teach the same negative reactions that we so desperately need to break free from.

The key is to look, to ask God to open your eyes to really see how the behavior is affecting those around you. When you see it, accept responsibility for it, and use that to help you make a change.

Apologizing to those you explode on is always helpful, as is explaining to them that you are trying to change, and even asking them for help and accountability. Let them be part of the healing process.

 

Step Three: Forgive Yourself and Walk Into Freedom

We can carry a lot of guilt about the way we treat others in our moments of anger. It can devastate our hearts that we have been unkind, obnoxious, insulting, cruel, or unapproachable.

We have to give ourselves the same grace that Jesus gives us each new day. There is no freedom to be found if we are still bound in the shackles of shame. Letting go of that shame and allowing grace to sooth us will offer us the opportunity to change the way we react.

The process is often slow. It takes many moments of prayer. Often, there are setbacks and we have to pour ourselves another cup of grace, take a big drink, and carry on. But diligence is worth it when we see the change in ourselves, and when others see it in us.

It is a freedom-building, satisfying, humbling moment when we realize we just reacted to a negative situation in a more positive manner. The small wins gather together until they turn into a great victory. Our confidence grows. Our humble spirits expand. We experience more joy than we ever have, and a freedom that comes from standing strong against a life-controlling problem and overcoming the emotion that has bound us for so long.

Will you still get angry? Sure. Anger in itself is not a sin. The way we react in the midst of the anger is where the sin enters. Learning to react more appropriately will not only set you free, but it will also break the generational cycle and allow you to influence those who are watching and learning from you in a much more positive way.

As always, our goal is to imitate Christ in all that we do. Breaking free from the stronghold of anger will help you do just that.

 

Four Things Every Christian Needs to Know About Forgiveness

Have you ever thought or said the phrase “I know I should forgive, but I just can’t…”

Forgiving someone doesn’t mean that what they did was okay, that you have to pretend that nothing’s wrong, or that you have to maintain a close relationship with them. Rather, forgiveness is a way for YOU to find peace and healing.

Here are Four Things Every Christian Needs to Know About Forgiveness

 

7 “Sins” the Bible Never Actually Prohibits

If you grew up in a conservative Christian household (like I did!), you may have learned that some actions weren’t appropriate for Christians.

For example, I was definitely taught that “you don’t smoke, drink, cuss, gamble, or spend time with those who do.”

Imagine my surprise, then, when — as an adult — I learned that not all Christians find all of these actions (or others) wrong in the slightest!

No matter your personal preference (and I still prefer not to do most of these things myself), here are 7 things the Bible never actually prohibits as sin.

7 “Sins” the Bible Never Actually Prohibits

 

Oops! These 10 Popular Bible Verses Don’t Mean What You Think

The Bible is full of inspirational verses that can encourage us, lift us up, and remind us of God’s goodness.

Yet, just because a verse sounds encouraging doesn’t mean that’s the way the original author meant his or her words to be understood.

Here are 10 popular Bible verses people love to take out of context, completely distorting their original meaning in the process.

Oops! These 10 Popular Bible Verses Don’t Mean What You Think