While religion typically calls for lifelong, all-in devotion, there comes a point when some believers simply can’t take it anymore.
Sometimes this walking away is caused by a one-time traumatic event. Other times, it’s a gradually process of deconstruction where a person simply cannot bring themselves to believe what they once did.
Recently, on a popular social platform, someone asked which aspects of Catholicism are most likely to cause people to leave their faith, and people did not hold back.
Here are 10 reasons why some people felt they simply couldn’t remain Catholic any longer.
1. They Had a Poor Experience with Confession
According to the original poster, the Rite of Reconciliation (Confession) can cause significant issues for some Catholics, as it can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, anxiety, or other, related mental health issues.
This person shared,
“While I personally understand the value and importance behind the sacrament, it is unfortunate that in practice, it appears to have resulted in unnecessary childhood trauma and defections. Whether intentionally inflicted or not, the end result of terrifying children with the prospect of eternal damnation for improperly revealing all of their sins can sow the seeds of anxiety, OCD and other mental health issues down the line.”
Another person agreed,
“Confession is the biggest barrier to me rejoining the faith. The uncertainty of whether I’m in a state of mortal sin causes me so much anxiety that I doubt I’d ever be able to take the eucharist, let alone attend mass.”
2. They Had an Issue with Clergy or Parishes
For others, the lack of a warm welcome can be a major turn-off.
As a former Protestant who now attends Catholic Mass weekly, I’ve certainly experienced this firsthand.
While Protestant churches often have welcome teams, childcare, and endless social events for both kids and adults alike (especially if you’re used to a larger church), Catholic churches can seem downright unfriendly.
Everyone already know what to do and where to go, so unfortunately, no one bothers to explain “the rules” or accommodate any newcomers. Often, they’re simply left on their own to figure it out.
One person responded, “A lot of people have described issues with nonresponsive clergy and parishes. I’m a new convert and have already experienced that firsthand.”
3. They Had a Poor Catechesis Experience
One of the reasons attending Catholic mass as a newcomer as an adult can feel so disorienting is that Catholics often focus more on teaching their children the basics of the faith than the adults (who likely should have already taken the classes as children).
Unfortunately, however, some people never receive this training, while others have received it but no longer remember everything they’ve learned.
As a result, it’s not uncommon for adult Catholics to have large gaps in their understanding. (This is common for people of all faiths, but sometimes more difficult to overcome as a Catholic.)
One person said, “I think poor catechesis is what gets people to leave the Church.”
4. They Had Problems with the Church Doctrine
Alternately, some people know what the church teaches — they simply don’t agree.
This isn’t surprising. The Catholic church is known for taking a strong and vocal pro-life and anti-LGBTQ stance that isn’t always popular or well-received in today’s culture.
For individuals with close friends and family who have chosen other lifestyles, it can be difficult to reconcile their religious beliefs with their desire to love their friends and family well.
One person said, “I know a lot of former Catholics who leave over disagreements with church doctrine or life changes.”
5. They Moved Away from Family
For some Catholics, regularly attending Mass is a habit they develop as a child in their parent’s home.
Unfortunately, when they grow up and move out or move away for a different job, it’s easy to fall out of the habit of regular attendance.
This is a common problem for people of all faiths — not just Catholics in particular.
One person said, “I think most people leave because they move away from their families for school and work and are busy building their new lives and want to party on their time off.”
6. They Don’t Believe Church is Important
Some Catholics don’t have an issue with any particular Catholic Church teaching. They simply don’t make their faith the priority the Church wishes they would.
While the Church requires all Catholics to attend Mass, go to Confession, and receive the Eucharist at certain times, this doesn’t mean all Catholics listen and obey. In fact, it’s relatively common for some Catholics to come to church only on the major holidays: Easter and Christmas.
Someone responded, “Decline in belief in the importance of Church as part of their lives (although not necessarily a loss of all religious belief).”
7. They Had Hypocritical Catholic Family Members
Unfortunately, the Church is no stranger to hypocrites. While we all have our own opinions and beliefs about what is right and wrong, that doesn’t mean we always do a perfect job of living out our beliefs in real life.
For some former Catholics, watching the hypocrisy of other church members can be a serious enough annoyance for them to leave the church altogether. Who wants to be a part of an organization whose members can have such a bad reputation?
Someone said, “Personally, for younger people I’ve talked to, the reasons for not sticking are bad catechism and hypocritical and nasty Catholic family members.”
8. They No Longer Feel Welcome
The Catholic Church isn’t shy in promoting the traditional family model: One husband, one wife, and as many children as possible.
While these emphasis can be helpful for married Catholics, unfortunately, it can be alienating to those who don’t fit in the traditional mold.
Single, divorced, or child-free Catholics can sometimes feel left out or even looked down upon because they don’t have the traditional family structure the Catholic Church loves to promote.
9. They Want to Live an Anti-Catholic Lifestyle
The Catholic church isn’t shy in it’s teachings about divorce, remarriage, cohabitation, and birth control.
For those who wish to live together, get physical, avoid children, get pregnant using IVF, or remarry against the Church’s guidelines, it’s often easier to walk away from the Church than a romantic relationship.
One person shared, “I think the three things that cause people to leave most often are because they want to marry again after a divorce, use birth control, and have [grown-up time] outside of marriage.”
10. They Didn’t Have a Specific Reason
Despite all these common reasons, some former Catholic Christians walk away for no real reason at all.
At some point, they simply decide that the Catholic faith is not the right choice for them and their time would be better spent elsewhere.
One person said, “People I know who left for a variety of reasons, or none all, just fell away.”
These Catholics Won’t Be Walking Away from the Church. Here’s Why.
The changing Catholic landscape isn’t all bad news, thankfully.
While some people are choosing to walk away, others can’t imagine leaving.
When asked “What do you love about being Catholic?” some devoted Christians had lots of love for the Church.
Here’s what they had to say.
These Catholics Won’t Be Walking Away from the Church. Here’s Why.
13 Quirky Things Devout Catholics Do No One Else Understands
If you’ve spent much time around Catholics you know…
Catholicism isn’t just a religion. It’s also a unique culture with plenty of unique quirks and trends, developed over more than two thousand years the Catholic church has been in existence.
Not a Catholic? Some of these unique quirks may not make sense to you, and that’s okay! Many Catholics have no problem being misunderstood by the majority of society.
But if you’re Catholic yourself or you’ve spent years around others who are (like I have!), you might just get a chuckle at this 13 quirky things devout Catholics do that no one else understands!
13 Quirky Things Devout Catholics Do No One Else Understands
Brittany Ann is an ECPA bestselling author and founder of Equipping Godly Women and Monetize My Ministry. She’s also a Christian speaker, podcaster, and conference host. Her work has been featured on numerous TV, radio, and online ministries, including CBN, MSN, Christianity Today, Evangelical Alliance, Patheos, Crosswalk, and more.
