Friend Going Through a Rough Time? Here are 10 Smart Ways to Help.

Pop quiz time: Your friend is going through a really though time. Perhaps she’s getting a divorce. Perhaps she’s dealing with depression or with an eating disorder. Or perhaps she has a child with special needs and it’s really taking a toll.

How do you respond?

If you’re like most people, you’re probably a little uncertain. You want to help, but you don’t know how. You don’t want to accidentally say the wrong thing and make it worse. You aren’t sure if you should press the matter or give her some space, so you end up doing nothing at all. Or at least, far less than you know you probably should.

We’ve all been there.

The good news is, you’re probably overthinking things. Yes, it’s possible you might say the wrong thing. And yes, it’s possible that you could even make it worse. But for most people, just knowing that you’re there and trying means the world.

Here are 10 ways you can help someone going through a rough time.

1. Stop by with a Gift, Meal, or Hug

Sometimes just having someone show up helps someone to feel better. Receiving their favorite treat and a hug from a friend may be just what they need in that instance. Knowing that a meal is taken care of for that day is such a huge blessing.

2. Offer to Take Their Kids for the Night or Weekend

A parent who is going through a tough time would love some quiet time and a break from the responsibilities of taking care of a child. If you are able to offer to take their kids for a few hours (or more!), that would be a way to show them support during this difficult time in their life.

3. Help Out with Housework

See if there is any housework they would be willing to let you help them with. This could mean picking up baskets of laundry to do at your own house and returning it clean and folded. It may be doing their dishes or putting away dishes. Another idea is to pick up toys or papers that are lying around the house. If your friend isn’t sure what they need help with, come prepared with ideas on how you can help in this way.

4. Do Their Yard Work

Knowing someone is going to mow their yard or pull weeds, is a big relief for someone that is going through a tough time. Ask how often they want their yard mowed and set up a rotating schedule with a group of friends.

5. Run Errands for Them

Are you already running to the store? Ask your friend if they need anything while you are out. If you pick up groceries for them, take it a step further and see if you can help put them away for them too.

6. Take Them to a Movie, Concert, or Out to Dinner

Help your friend take their mind off of everything going on by doing something fun together. This could be going to a movie or concert that you would both enjoy. Or you could treat them to dinner out of the house so neither one of you has to cook. It could also be something as simple as taking a walk together, getting them into a different environment for a short amount of time.

7. Keep Unwanted Advice to Yourself

If your friend is looking for a solution and you have something that will truly be helpful to them, then by all means, you should share.

But, if your friend is hurting or grieving right now, they may not be ready for your advice just yet. And that’s okay. Start by being a good, understanding friend now and you can share your advice later.

Not sure which your friend needs from you? Ask them! Simply say, “I’m so sorry to hear you’re having a rough time right now! I care about you and I want to help. What’s more helpful to you right now? A shoulder to lean on or a practical solution to your problem? (Or both?) I’m here with whatever you need!”

Help your friend out in the way that best helps THEM, not you.

8. Avoid Clichés

Just because a phrase sounds good or is true sometimes doesn’t mean that it’s true all of the time or that you need to say it.

Phrases such as “Everything happens for a reason!” “When God closes a door, He opens a window” and “The Lord never gives you more than you can handle” aren’t helpful. They may make you feel better, but they aren’t likely to help someone who is truly suffering.

If you don’t know what to say, that’s okay. Simply say “I’m so sorry you’re going through this” or “How can I help?” Ask if you can pray with them–and do it right then and there. But don’t just spout off empty phrases just so you have something Biblical-sounding to say.

9. Encourage Them to Seek the Lord

The truth is, no matter how strong our faith is, all of us will go through a rough time at some point. And when we do, it’s only natural for our faith to start to falter. It happened to the best of them–all throughout the Bible. But the good news is, God can handle it!

God is bigger than our emotions and stronger than our circumstances, and when we’re upset–we should come to Him. It’s not like He doesn’t already know what we’re struggling with!

If your friends are going through a tough time, pointing them back towards Jesus (in a loving and caring manner) may be just what they need.

10. Pray for Them

Can your friends count on you to pray for them?

Not just once or every once in a long while when you remember to–but round-the-clock as long as their troubles persist?

Not sure what to pray? Here are a few ideas:

• Pray that this experience would draw them near God–not pull them further away.
• Pray that they would trust God despite their storms.
• Pray that God would be near them and comfort them.
• Pray that you would have the wisdom to say and do the right things.
• Pray that God would use this situation for their good.
• Pray that all things would work out to God’s glory.

How to Respond When God Allows Trauma

If you’ve been through the unthinkable, please know that your story doesn’t have to end in pain in trauma.

For the truly inspiring, incredible story of how one woman is thriving after an assault, be sure to read this article on How to Respond When God Allows Trauma.

Why Doesn’t God Answer My Prayers? (6 Biblical Reasons)

Do you feel angry, hurt, disappointed, or confused because God hasn’t answered your prayers the way you want Him to? There may be a very good reason why He hasn’t.

Be sure to check out this article on 6 Biblical Reasons God Doesn’t Answer Our Prayers.