What Causes Religious Deconstruction? A Christian Mom’s Perspective

What leads a faithful Christian parent, church leader, or married mom to experience religious deconstruction? By definition, religious deconstruction in the context of Christianity is the process of questioning and re-evaluating one’s beliefs and practices. This search for truth can lead to a faith crisis, deconversion, or a re-engagement with faith on deeper terms. 

This struggle is happening all around us. In the past year, I have seen faithful families divorce and friends of Godly character abandon the church of their childhood. We will only witness the final results if we aren’t quick to observe and respond well to our friends and family in their crises. As a believer, I want to know how we can better respond to my friends experiencing these circumstances. 

How do we respond when deconstruction looks like an open seat at a family gathering or unanswered texts to a friend? 

First, we need to recognize that deconstruction is an introspective journey. Because the deconstruction process is driven by a desire to find truth and live authentically, it is deeply personal. Being a trusted friend who can listen is vital. As fellow Christians, offering genuine care, compassionate support, and a listening ear is critical in maintaining a trusting connection. 

There are nearly three hundred thousand “deconstruction” hashtags on social media. A simple search will return articles from famous Christian musicians and church leaders from the deconstruction movement. Given the movement’s spread, you are likely navigating how to respond to someone in your life.

The real danger lies in the current trend of seeking truth outside of Scriptures, which has shaken many young people’s religious beliefs and led to the crumbling of large and small church leaders. As you face hard questions together, a willingness to experience discomfort and provide a safe space for questioning is a key element to entering the process of another’s deconstruction stories. 

What Causes Religious Deconstruction in a Person’s Life? 

We had an exposed wire in our playroom for fifteen years. The wire poked out of an uncovered outlet behind a rarely closed door, about five feet above the floor. It didn’t threaten our crawling babies; we forgot all about it in the buzz of active life. That was until an electrician touched the wire with his tester, and the device lit up in his hand.

Power was running through that wire—enough to cause harm. That live wire needed to be removed. Unfortunately, as home projects go, many other electrical problems led us to a whole-house rewire. Our electrical system was not up to standard and had to be torn out.

At the same time as our construction, I was experiencing major upheaval in my spiritual life. A family conflict was the first exposed wire, but it led down a path of personal faith deconstruction that lasted years. It took me time to unweave the jumble of false beliefs, past pain, and childish understanding. 

Building our faith is not a one-time act. We are constantly adding to our faith. In error or under false teaching, we add beliefs contrary to the truth of God’s Word. We pick these up from our family of origin, education, and the world around us. Being in the Word, attending Church regularly, and maintaining fellowship with other believers helps us sift through these in light of the truth of God’s Word. 

Like Our Wiring Problems, False Beliefs Will Be Exposed 

Living out spiritual incongruencies, false beliefs, or functioning under an incomplete understanding of scripture can spark the need to follow the wires to the source. The act of questioning, doubting, and reforming to a more accurate reflection of the Word of God has always been a part of the Christian tradition. Time and time again, in scripture, we are called to study, grow, and increase our depth of knowledge. 

In 2 Timothy 2:15, we are encouraged to “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and correctly handles the word of truth.”

In Proverbs, wisdom is coupled with the Holy Scriptures continually. In Proverbs 2:1-6, we read:

“My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding— indeed, if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God. For the LORD gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.”

The previously held understanding of the deconstruction of faith referred to questioning deeply held cultural beliefs, practices, and assumptions related to faith in light of the Holy Scriptures. Without the foundation of scriptural searching, a faith deconstruction experience can lead to various outcomes, from deconversion to outright resentment and hostility towards those in the body of Christ.

I was fortunate to experience a reconstruction process of genuine healing and re-engagement with my faith. My personal experience brought me a clearer understanding of who God truly is.

If you are looking for a resource to help you respond to your loved ones, I would suggest Alisa Childers’ book, The Deconstruction of Christianity, which reminds readers of the need to return to the scriptures for answers. She states,

“We are Christians, and we should be deriving our vocabulary and categories from Scripture. I see nowhere in the Bible where anything like the current movement of deconstruction is promoted or condoned.”

The more commonly referenced modern deconstruction refers to questioning one’s faith in response to a perceived incompatibility with the individual’s worldview. The danger of the current deconstruction movement lies not in examining one’s beliefs but in the absence of the Holy Scriptures as the standard against which to measure those beliefs.

Deconstruction or Reformation?     

Deconstruction has recently received a glamorous makeover, and it is essential to ask why. As defined, deconstructing religion, often used in the context of Christianity, is a process of questioning and reevaluating one’s beliefs and practices. We should seek reformation, aligning our understanding with the truth of Scripture.

Jesus asked His followers to reorder and abolish their previously held worldviews in scripture. In John 4, the woman at the well asks Jesus to settle the debate of whether people will worship in Samaria or Jerusalem. Instead, He declares that there will come a time when worship will not be constrained to the mountains or Jerusalem.

In John 3, a religious leader asks what it takes to enter the kingdom of heaven. Jesus tells Nicodemus that he must be born again—an impossible task.

In both of these conversations, Jesus’ answers revealed the heart of the hearer. To the woman at the well, Jesus overshadows her claim of religious superiority by being a Samaritan, demonstrating that true worship is not confined to a specific location. To Nicodemus, Jesus asks Nicodemus to step away from that which gives him identity, authority, and meaning and into a relationship with Himself.

Something must give way when an individual is challenged in their core values and identity. Deconstruction is a response to experiencing internal incongruency. The resulting uncertainty feels like a wrecking ball when tension arises between faith and doubt.

Where Can Deconstruction Lead?

A person’s response to this sense of deconstruction depends on several factors, the most important of which is identifying the source of the internal conflict. In Jesus’ interactions in the narrative in John, He understood the motivators behind the questions He was asked. 

Unfortunately, we are less skilled at getting to the core of our doubts and misconceptions. Deconstruction can uncover the source of our discomfort when facing Scriptural truth or our limited understanding.

When confronted with her limited understanding of the nature of worship, the woman at the well acknowledged that Jesus was the authoritative source of truth. She desired to learn more from Him about what true worship looks like. Her excitement to discover this truth spilled over to those she had gathered to meet Jesus with her.

To the woman at the well, the deconstruction of what she understood to be the future of worship opened her to a greater understanding of what God had to offer. She chose to learn more and grew in her faith.

In the case of the woman at the well, identifying her own beliefs and applying objective truth from Jesus led to the proper understanding. Her deconstruction journey led to deeper Christian beliefs than she held before.

Conversely, in retelling Jesus’ interaction with Nicodemus, we see that others can discover what scripture asks of them and experience a loss of faith. It is easy for Nicodemus to shake his head in frustration and say, “How can a man return to his mother’s womb?” What is hard is to give away his status and reputation to follow Jesus. 

From these interactions, we learn two key factors. Deepening our listening is necessary to identify false beliefs and offer the truth of God’s Word. Second, our Christian faith will challenge us to yield to Biblical authority if we desire a deeper spiritual experience. The word of God is a safe place to seek instruction for spiritual formation and continued growth.

Factors That Can Help Us Reconstruct

1. Develop a Biblical Worldview

A worldview is a collection of attitudes, values, stories, and expectations about the world around us, which inform our thoughts and actions. In other words, everything we perceive builds our worldview. We constantly add to it in school, church, and daily life. Much of what we believe is inferred from our surrounding environment. 

As we grow in our Christian life, we develop our understanding of the world around us in relationship to the Holy Scriptures. Continually developing our biblical worldview provides a standard to measure our beliefs and prove positive spiritual growth.

2. Strive for Biblical Literacy

Many people search for answers while in a spiritual crisis. There is a danger in looking to non-Christian philosophies, self-help guides, and historical texts for answers. These should be used in light of the scriptures. Unfortunately, scripture literacy is on a steady decline in the United States. According to Barna Group, only one-third of Americans read the Bible at least once a week, while roughly half read it less than twice a year. 

Bible reading was more common among older readers than among millennials. Even among regular churchgoers, in recent years, a significant portion doesn’t read the Bible regularly, according to Lifeway Research, with few having read the Bible cover to cover at least once.

3. Build a Meaningful Community

Build a community before you need one in a time of crisis. I don’t know where I would have ended up if two loving women in my community had invited me into a home fellowship group during my spiritual crisis. We studied the character of God together, and they allowed me to talk and share my pain with them. If not for them, I would have drowned in the sorrow I was experiencing. They reached out, extended an invitation, and made room for me. God did the work.

Don’t wait until a crisis reveals you lack a caring and invested community. Start finding ways to add meaningful fellowship to your Christian life. They need you as much as you might one day need them.