Do you know your love language? Do you know your spouse’s love language?
In “The Five Love Languages,” Dr. Chapman explains that people generally best receive love in one of five ways: Words of Encouragement, Acts of Service, Quality Time, Physical Touch, and Gift Giving.
It is possible to favor more than one way, but Chapman’s general idea is that most people prefer certain ways of showing and receiving love over the others.
For some people, figuring out their love language is pretty easy. You can just look at the options and know “Yes! That’s what makes me feel loved” or “Meh… I don’t care about that one so much…” For others, though, figuring it out can be a little more tricky–especially if you’ve never thought about it before.
Check out 15 ways you can speak your spouse’s love language.
1. Tell Your Spouse You Love Them
If your spouse’s love language is words of encouragement, hearing that you love them really makes them feel loved and cherished.
Try to go beyond the obvious, though. Rather than simply saying, “I love you,” try to get specific. Tell your spouse what you love about them, what you appreciate about them, or what they do better than anyone else.
2. Cook Your Spouse’s Favorite Dinner
For someone whose love language is acts of service, coming home to their favorite dinner (without them having to prepare it!) is such a blessing and a way for them to feel loved.
While any meal will do, you’ll get bonus points if you put the thought and effort into preparing your spouse’s favorite dish.
3. Have a Regular Date Night
Schedule and commit to having a regular date night doing an activity that you both enjoy so that your spouse whose love language is quality time can feel loved. Take turns planning the dates.
It’s okay if you’re short on time or money. A great date night doesn’t have to be expensive! Whether you have a picnic at the park, dance underneath the stars, go out for ice cream, or take a romantic bike ride for two, it’s the thought that counts.
4. Hold Hands with Your Spouse
For a person whose love language is physical touch, simply holding hands while driving, sitting on the couch together, or taking a walk goes a long way for them to feel loved.
Something as simple as a small touch can really make a huge difference!
5. Buy a Card “Just Because”
Surprise your spouse with a card on a random day. Write down what you appreciate about them. You could even add a favorite candy bar to go with the card. This is a great way to show love to your spouse with a gift giving love language.
6. Praise Your Spouse’s Best Qualities (Especially in Front of Other People!)
Sharing how great your spouse is with other people will definitely help your spouse feel loved and appreciated. This is especially true for those whose love language is words of encouragement. Be specific as possible and take time to really brag about your spouse.
7. Help Your Spouse Find Something They Lost
Taking time out of your day to search for something that has gone missing shows your spouse with the love language of acts of service how much you care about them. Bonus if you can complete the task without complaining!
8. Give Your Spouse Your Full Attention (No Multi-Tasking!)
How many times do you listen to your spouse while making dinner, putting the dog outside, or cleaning dishes? For your spouse with the quality time love language, they would absolutely love if you would just sit still for 5 minutes and look at them while they talk.
9. Kiss Your Spouse Before the House
A simple kiss when your spouse leaves home any time during the day can make your physical touch love language spouse feel loved and ready to take on the day.
10. Celebrate Birthdays, Valentine’s Day, and Other Gift-Giving Holidays
A spouse whose love language is gift giving, it is SO important to make a big deal out of holidays. Help them feel loved by celebrating their birthday each year with balloons, cake, and a thoughtful gift. Be sure to buy chocolates for Valentine’s Day. Don’t miss an opportunity to celebrate special days with your spouse.
11. Thank Your Spouse for Working Hard for Your Family
Whether your spouse works in or out of the home, they are working hard for your family. Acknowledging that to your spouse with the love language of words of encouragement shows them love.
12. Take the Car in for an Oil Change
Doing an errand that your spouse doesn’t really want to do, like taking the car in for an oil change, is a great way to show love to your spouse through acts of service.
13. Run Errands Together
Spending time together, even if you are just going to the grocery store or picking up dinner makes a huge difference for someone whose love language is quality time.
14. Give a Massage
Your spouse whose love language is physical touch will enjoy getting a massage.
It’s okay if you aren’t naturally talented at giving massages. Take your time and make it fun! It truly is the thought that counts.
15. Buy an Item on Your Spouse’s Wish List
If your spouse has been looking at an item, weighing the pros and cons, buy it as a surprise. This “just because” gift giving will make your spouse feel loved.
To make this idea easier on you, you could ask your spouse to keep a written list up to date on items they hope to receive. Or simply pay attention to what your spouse notices or talks about and secretly create a running list yourself!
Are You And Your Spouse More Like Roommates than Lovers?
Does your marriage feel more like mutually co-existing, rather than building a shared and enjoyable life together?
It’s a common stage that most marriages go through at some point, but just because it’s common doesn’t mean you have to settle for it.
If you’re getting a little nervous about where your marriage is or where it’s headed, don’t worry. It’s never too late to change course and work towards intimacy.
If you’re not okay with being “just roommates,” there are two things you must work on constantly in your marriage relationship…
When You and Your Spouse Feel More Like Roommates Than Lovers
5 Powerful Prayers Every Wife Should Pray Over Her Husband
Wives, do you pray for your husbands? Regularly? What do you pray for?
While you may find the time to build your husband up, you may have to admit — you haven’t always been the best at praying for your husband or your marriage throughout the years, but that’s ok!
It’s not because you don’t want to or because you don’t think it’s incredibly important — I am sure you do! — but simply because you don’t often remember to!
5 Powerful Prayers Every Wife Should Pray Over Her Husband
Brittany Ann is an ECPA bestselling author and founder of Equipping Godly Women and Monetize My Ministry. She’s also a Christian speaker, podcaster, and conference host. Her work has been featured on numerous TV, radio, and online ministries, including CBN, MSN, Christianity Today, Evangelical Alliance, Patheos, Crosswalk, and more.
