Need More Christian Friends? Here are 6 Ways to Find Them

Brittany Ann

Need More Christian Friends? Here are 6 Ways to Find Them There’s a quote that’s been stuck, rolling around inside of my head, ever since I first heard it. 

It’s by motivational speaker Jim Rohn and it says, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

Of course, that’s what the Bible has been saying for years.

In verses like Proverbs 13:20, which states “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm” and 1 Corinthians 15:33, which states “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.'”

 

So let me ask you: Who are the five people you spend the most time with? And furthermore, what are they like? (seriously, take a minute. list them out.)

 

  • Are they strong Christians, completely devoted to following God no matter the cost? Or are they pretty lukewarm and lackadaisical in their faith, if they believe at all?
  • Do they have strong, Godly marriages and encourage you to do the same? Or are they generally disrespectful, discontent, and selfish?
  • How do they raise their children? Are they kind, loving parents who work hard to raise their children in the faith? Or do they teach and allow things that you wouldn’t want your children to be around?

 

Now please understand — I totally get that no one is perfect. We all have room for improvement and you definitely don’t need to go ditch all of your friends just because they aren’t “up to your standards.” You definitely need Christian friends AND non-Christian friends in your life.

BUT – just thinking of the people you spend the most time with. What are they like? And how are they influencing you to be the same?

 

Choosing Friends on Purpose

 

So, a few years ago, when I first heard this quote, I stopped to evaluate: Who were the people I spent the most time around? What did we like to do together?

Thankfully, I was pleased to find that all of my friends were pretty awesome. They are strong, smart Christian women who love God and love their families and seek to better themselves every day.

The problem for me was that I simply didn’t have enough of them. And I didn’t see them nearly often enough. So I set out to change that.

 

If you’re surrounded by people who constantly bring you down, I’d definitely recommend this article:

How to Deal With Toxic Family Members Biblically

 

Otherwise, read on for 6 ways to find more Christian friends!

 

6 Ways to Find More Godly Friends

 

1. Go Where the People Are

 

This first suggestion may seem obvious, but unfortunately it’s also widely overlooked: If you want to make more friends – you have to go where people are.

Sure, it may be easier and less intimidating to just stay home when you don’t know where to go or what to do, or to go to the same old places you’ve always gone, but there are SO many options you can explore!

For example, you could go to:

  • Church
  • A Bible study
  • The park
  • The library
  • A book club
  • The gym
  • A mommy and me class
  • Sports practice with your kids
  • Farmers markets
  • A full or part-time job
  • A MOPS group
  • A local coffee shop
  • A neighborhood get-together
  • An outreach event at a different church
  • Free community events in your area

 

One doesn’t work out? No problem. There are plenty more where that came from. Just go right on down the list until you find something that clicks.

Don’t know where to find these things in your area? Google it. Seriously. You never know what you will find until you look.

 

* Tried to make friends at church but your church is full of cliques? Go here: How to Make Friends When Your Church is Full of Cliques 

 

2. Get Involved

 

Of course, simply going to these places isn’t enough (unfortunately). You also have to get involved and get to know people. And the BEST way I’ve found to get involved and start getting to know people is simply to sign up or volunteer for things.

For example, you could:

  • Join a team or committee at church (ask around to see what opportunities are available)
  • Volunteer to help with special church outreach initiatives, like collecting coats, backpacks or school supplies, or by stuffing shoe boxes for Operation Christmas Child.
  • Volunteer in your child’s classroom, join the PTA, or volunteer in some other capacity at your child’s school (schools can always use volunteers!)
  • Join a group at the library or take your little ones to story time at the same time each week
  • Join a class at the gym instead of working out by yourself
  • Volunteer at the hospital or a nursing home in your area
  • Google “Volunteer opportunities + your city” (if you live in a good sized city, you should find a bunch!)

 

Volunteering is a great way to make a real difference in your community AND also meet some really awesome people!

 

3. Reach Out

 

Once you start to meet more people and you find a few you think would make awesome friends, it’s time to reach out and get intentional. Thankfully, this really doesn’t have to be as scary as it seems. If you’ve chosen some great people, then they’re probably super nice and would love to be friends with you.

Here’s how to make that happen:

  • Find a good reason to get their phone number or email address. For example, maybe you take some awesome pictures of your volunteer activity and you offer to forward them to your friend. Most people won’t find this weird if you’ve already started building a friendship or if you have a good reason.
  • If you aren’t brave enough to ask for a phone number, try to find them on Facebook at least. Most people have SO many friends on Facebook these days, they really won’t mind having one more. And this gives you a very laid-back way to get to know them more and chat on occasion.
  • Invite them to do something fun. Maybe there’s a new movie coming out or a new canvas painting place you’ve been dying to try. Ask if they’d like to come too. Chances are, they’d be flattered.
  • Get the kids together for a play date. Do you both have kids about the same age? Get them together for a play date and enjoy some quality mom time too.

 

And don’t worry if you have to invite people a couple of times before they take you up on your offer. People are busy! It may not be because they don’t want to hang out with you. They may simply not have the time or the money right then, or they may not be interested in that particular activity.

Simply try again later with a different activity. And if they still aren’t interested – no big deal. There are PLENTY of people out there. This friend simply wasn’t the right choice for you.

 

4. Meet Friends of Friends

 

Still don’t know anyone? Why not ask your current friends to help you expand your horizons? Chances are they know some people and would happy to introduce or include you. You could even arrange some kind of fun event where lots of women can bring their friends and all get to know each other.

For example:

  • A park or zoo trip
  • A toy/clothing swap
  • A book club or Bible study
  • A big freezer cooking day
  • Birthday, graduation or holiday parties
  • A Norwex, Young Living, Lularoe or Osborne books party (Anyone selling things like these would LOVE to help you throw a party because it’s a win-win. More income for them — more potential friends for you!)

 

5. Find Community Online

 

While nothing beats having real life friends you can get together with anytime, thanks to the Internet, people all over the world are more accessible than ever before. Sure, you may not be able to have them over physically, but with online video chat, it’s a pretty close second.

Plus, it’s a lot easier to find people with the same interests or struggles as you. For example, you might want to seek out other women who love essential oils, who have kids the same ages as yours, who struggle with depression, who are dealing with the loss of a child, who love running, who love baking… or anything else you can think of! The options are endless!

Here are a few places you can look:

 

Join the email community

And don’t forget to join the Equipping Godly Women community if you haven’t already!

 

6. Connect with Old Friends

 

Of course, while making new friends is always awesome, sometimes the answer is as simple as connecting with people you already know.

Do you have any friends from grade school, high school or college that you’ve lost touch with? What about friends from a past job, volunteer experience or interest-based group?

Oftentimes you can find people through a simple Facebook search, by looking through friends of friends, or even calling an old phone number if their parents still live in the same house!

 

Who are the five people you spend the most time with? Where did you meet them?

 

 

Brittany Ann is an ECPA bestselling author and founder of Equipping Godly Women and Monetize My Ministry. She’s also a Christian speaker, podcaster, and conference host. Her work has been featured on numerous TV, radio, and online ministries, including CBN, MSN, Christianity Today, Evangelical Alliance, Patheos, Crosswalk, and more.

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107 Comments

  2. I tell you, I feel so alone, I really don’t have any friends all I have is my husband and he doesn’t really talk toe much, I need a female friend I can get out the house and do stuff with, I tried to be friends with a girl at my pharmacy, I gave her my number and said we should go hang out sometime, she told me about a week later that she didn’t call cause the policy there was she could not interact with customers out side of work. I’m not sure if that’s true or she just didn’t want to be friends,

    Reply

      1. Hi, this is an older post but I found it looking for friendships outside of my cliquey church and city. The resources look good. Im praying for good friendships. Covid really taught me to dial out a lot of people. But this us truly a lonely season for all. Thanks for your post.

    2. I can completely relate. I pray every day that God will provide me with a good, Godly friend. I feel so alone much of the time. I have many acquaintances and “friends” at church. But it seems these days that so many people don’t have the time to really develop friendships, or at least new friendships.

      Reply

      2. Yes I am in the exact same boat. I’m not sure why it’s taking so long to answer this prayer, but I am joining a new Bible study at a different church it’s much bigger and I hope to find some closer friends there to do things with.

      3. I too feel alone a lot and I have not been in church in like 20 years I fell away from Christ and seeking to walk again with God and suffering from a lot.
        Past memories of my exhusband that I have for 20 years that I am ashamed and embarrassed about. I remember how happy I was with God back then and happy with that life I had and want it back so bad. What happened to that 20 year old girl
        I hate being miserable feeling like this. I wanna be be happy and have it all together and embarrassed that I am such a mess. I feel like I lost so much husband and daughter then will God help me with these things I feel and hurt pain and help me to find a new husband and live for Jesus again. Why have a suffered and not this beautiful confident girl I was like at 20 loving Jesus. I think Jesus is what made me so happy and confident
        And why do I still think of my ex husband I don’t want to
        I need a good Christian therapist to help me to live on or maybe just a good friend to talk to. I don’t talk to people about personal stuff ever I cry in my room to myself and hard for me to open up to people cause past hurt
        I used to be stronger and proud of that in my youth I never had melt down or struggled like a big baby and shh baby wimp with my emotions
        I just wanna do right and live for Jesus and heal from the hurt of my past

      4. Hi Jenn, my name is Jen. ?
        I thought before I fall asleep I’d check out some things online to see where to meet new people who are Christians and what was out there. I’ve never done this before and I wasn’t very sleepy and time got away from me and I came across your comments on equippinggodlywomen. I’m sorry what you’ve been through. How wonderful to know that you are so loved and God cares for you! If you’d like, feel free to contact me. By the way I live in Florida. May the God of all peace comfort you like only He can. ?

      5. Hi Jen…… my name is Charlene but I have been called Charlee since the day I was born. I know how you feel …… I am married but I get really lonely because of not having any true friends in my life. I am their friend when they need to use me for something. It would be awesome if God would bless me with a true friend . I have prayed about it many times and will continue praying . I use to go to church all the time too and my life was full of “Joy and Happiness”. Since moved to New Jersey it has been so hard to find a church that I feel excepted ! I don’t know why or understand why I feel as thou I am not excepted it is like nobody wants to talk to me etc?
        It would be great to have a friend that I could talk to about anything
        Ya know what I’m saying?
        Anyways if you are still looking to start a new friendship please don’t hesitate to contact me.

        I look forward to talking with you
        Thanks
        Charlee ?

      7. I been looking for a good christian friend that’s loves the lord .

        Thats reads the Bible and go to church and hang out and talk about Jesus Christ and church

      8. We all believe that GOD has reasons unto why he allows things to happen. Bt believe always that GOD has got a good plan for u. Never give up with praying he knows u and knows your names

      9. Thanks Esther for your words of encouragement – not for me but I received them. Thank you. I like your name, I appreciate Esther’s impact in the Bible.
        Shalom Elisabeth

      10. I live in North Georgia. Recently divorced and feel the exact same why as mentioned by other woman, “I need more friends”. Do you have any suggestions?

      11. Idk what part of Ga you live in but I feel the same way. I have friends but we recently moved & I quit my job & became a sahm & seems like I lost most of my so called friends. Stubbled onto this post trying to get ideas on how to open myself up to new friendships. Anyway if you’d like to talk more. Message me. [email protected]

      12. I feel the exact same way!! Where do you live? I am in Troutdale Oregon!

      13. Hi Heidi, I do hope things have improved for you now! I hope you’ve encountered some warm and loving friends! Shalom Elisabeth

      1. Hey what city are you ladies from? I’m in Manhattan New York also looking for some Godly friends and I get so lonely in this walk same thing

      2. Omg .. I just goggle how to find Christian friends. Too many people are filled with evil and lord knows I don’t want any part of it . I ask God to please send me 1 decent God faring person. We all make mistakes and that’s fine no one is perfect. I love to entertain but I’m so tired of entertaining in a bad way .. to please my friends. I would love to play Gospel music and talk but I can’t .

      5. GOD knows you and loves u so much, just surrender and give everything of yours to JESUS and everything Wil be perfect.

    4. At least you have a husband, Thank God for him, but I feel your pain as a female when you want a friend to hang out with. I literally have no one, I have family but we are in different paths, I feel no one really loves me but want me to participate in stuff to fit their needs or unless Im doing what they want. Any family that lets a female go home late after they invite you somewhere and they know you dont have a vehicle is mean and cruel to me, but i always go but I’m on public transportation and they know it and I live further away, i never get offered a ride by my family members and they all have cars.

      Reply

      2. I’m sorry you feel that way. (This is an older post that doesn’t get comments very often). You did mention “they invite you somewhere” — so that’s a start! Do you think you might be able to be more involved if you lived closer?

      3. Hi “Lonely” I truly get what you mean and it sometimes gets to be a painful experience when you are the one trying and others wont chip in. My issue is relating to people. Being in Oregon it’s pretty eclectic and “weird” and as a Christian, I tend to hold to Biblical values that are not as popular. Anyway long story short. I too am lonely and trying to find godly friends without feeling like it’s work when getting to know them…

      4. I can relate to whhat you are saying that you want to stay on your journey with the Lord. You want Christian friends who share the same values, standards and beliefs. I don’t like being around shallow people or people who want me to be a people pleaser. I live in Wisconsin and I don’t go anywhere because I don’t have any friends. It is unbearable sometimes and since I have gotten older it seems next to impossible to connect with Christian friends. I witness to people but it’s just not the same as having good solid genuine friendships or people who share the same common interests.

      6. Hi, so do I haha its kinda late, but I couldn’t go to sleep and was like why not give this a try. God Bless You! You will finded a dedicated Christian friend.

      7. it is written, GOD said fear not, I will help you! GOD loves you and hears you! your friend in CHRIST,. Brian

      8. Dear Lonely,

        Whilst am a long way away from you am more than happy to communicate with you via skype.

    6. Hi..
      My name is Diana. I really thought I was one of a very few that was looking for a Christian friend. So many times I have thought I had friends..but it was a very one sided friendship. I am married and my husband is my very best friend (only second to Jesus). But I have always wanted a sister friend to hang out with…read and share the Bible with and be able to just be accepted for who I am. I live in Pocomoke Md…but everyone around here that “thinks” they know me…has never spent any time really getting to know the real person I am. I love to have fun and laugh…I love to play the keyboard..I love to talk about God…but when people don’t spend quality time getting to know you for who you really are…they judge you when you start failing their expections.. I would love to find a friend..so if your looking for a good friend…even if your far away..we could write or call…just let me know..God bless

      Reply

      1. Hi Diana,

        I’m new to this site. I Just Googled ways to find Christian friends. Yes, I very much agree with you. I’m married and my husband is my best friend also. But I would love to have a friend to fellowship with. I live in upstate New York..but we could start by email if you are interested..God bless you too!

      1. Hi Freda am Ruth I would like to have a friend like you where we share God word as we do charity.

    8. Hi Sarah, just read your message and hope things got better since then! I can also relate with that feeling, that was me about 2 years ago and prayerfully one good friend introduced me to another friend and another and now I can say God finally answered my prayer to finally have a community of Christian friends! ??
      Should you still want to make a friend, my email is [email protected].

      Reply

    9. Hi, Sarah, it’s been two years since you wrote your comment, so I hope you’ve found some Godly friends since then! I’m married myself, and my husband is my only friend. It’s hard as my husband is actually trying to plan something with his friend, but I can’t really come otherwise his friend will feel like a third wheel! :/ It sucks that happened with the girl at the pharmacy, and I have to say that was such a brave move, good on you! I always want to do things like that but freak out and don’t do it :’) Feel free to email me on [email protected] and we can Zoom or Skype from there! I live in Melbourne, Australia and I’m 22. I’ve been needing Christian girl friends forever!!

      Reply

    10. Hi Sarah, my name is del reyes, i been here in san antoino for almost two years, i have a husband but he work long hours. I wanted to have a good friend. To talk to. I feel so alone i needed a friend. Thank you, talk to you soon.

      Reply

  3. My problem is that as I’m trying to build a stronger relationship with God, I can feel my small circle of friends pushing away a bit. I still love them but I want and need friends that are on fire for God! I try to include them by inviting them to church but no takers yet. I feel like I may need a whole new circle :/

    Reply

  4. I feel the same way. I’m lonely. Like I did had friends but they weren’t in the godly nature of mine. We grew apart after graduating from high school. I try to get only with people that’s the same age as me but it’s hard.

    Reply

    1. It definitely takes time to find the right friend group — and it may end up being small (mine is) — but it is 100% worth it to keep putting yourself out there!

      Reply

      1. I can’t believe I came across this site. ? I am struggling like a lot of you have said ,I have no one. I had so many “friends” I didn’t know how to make time for myself,I didn’t have a relationship with the Lord,and my life was chaotic. All I did was give give give. I did not know I was doing it so people would like me but I was. Well at 40 urs old I started my real journey and started to do what was right not what everyone just wanted me to do. It started then and I have dwindled down to no one but my fiancé. I am so lonely. But I pray there is a greater purpose for this pain. I I even lost my best friend of thirty yrs. we were like sisters. But I know it was unhealthy. Still hurts. Thanks for listening. I will pray for u all. We gotta believe,it’s just so hard sometimes. I know I don’t need twenty best friends and fifty friends but I wd love God to send me a real friend. I miss that so much. I get nervous it’s to late to start over again. God can do anything though ,like I said BELIEVE! thank u for listening ?God bless. Xoxo

      2. Hello my is Denise* and iam also looking for True Godly Friend*s I* dnt knw where to start,but I’m going to begin with. I* reside in Ohio,Dayton… I’m so alone&been used,no family, no friends,to way to get around. ?? I’ve got no one!!! Plz if your*r out there plz in God*s name reach out 2*Me ?? ???️??????

      3. Hello, Diana .my name is Teresa and I can certainly relate to where you’re coming from. It’s so hard to find true blue, ace boon coon friends. Excuse the expressions. i’m old school. I pray God will bless me and you both with Godly friends. We need people in our lives who can build us up and share the word of God to bring happiness and joy.

      5. Hi Kerri,
        Congratulations on your marriage! Did you get married already? I feel the same way…I’ve lost my best friend of 20 years (we had been drifting for years anyway), and now am on the journey to finding new godly female friends but it is freighting…however I’d love to be your friend and Skype sometime!

  5. Hi,

    I realized the other day that I really don’t have many friends, I have my best friend since we were 11 years old, but she doesn’t believe in God, she is an amazing person, and I love her as a sister, but we are different and I need more friends who are in the same path that I am, I never go out and I’m a single mom. I recently just change my work schedule so that I can go to church on friday mornings for a prayer service they have, I hope I get to meet more moms there, I can’t be always stuck in the house. I work from home by the way which makes everything even more difficult.

    Reply
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  9. My immediate members of my “family” are undiagnosed NARCISSISTS. They have NPD. Plus, one of them “hooked up” with a twisted, evil, nosy, low self-esteem, so-called former OCD person! I get a lot of divination instead of compassion from people! I will like to have a “normal” friend who is a believer.

    Reply

    1. I just wrote a reply to Brittainy and it doesn’t even make sense probably but I am in awe that I can identify with so any and as I was about to close out I saw this. You have no idea how much I get what ur saying! It breaks my heart! ThI want the same thing. I wish I didn’t have to go but I had to say hello and I will pray for u tonight and try to reach out again. Maybe we can find away to help each other. God bless?

      Reply

    2. “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. “

      Reply

  10. Hi, my name is Deb and I am here with the hope of meeting new friends in Christ like myself. I am married but my husband is an unbeliever. I just need friends that are true loyal sincere.

    Reply

      1. HI there, not sure if busy anyone will see this. I am wondering if there are any ladies in Vancouver Canada?
        Will ask to join the Facebook group.

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