7 Lies Christian Women Believe About Sex

🌺  Written by Brittany Ann

 7 Lies Christian Women Believe About SexDid your parents teach you about sex when you were growing up?

Did they do a good job? Or did you have to learn most of what you know at school, at church, on the playground, or even in books or on websites once you were older?

It’s funny, for a culture where sex is so prevalent (it’s hard to watch a show that doesn’t include or at least reference it–even on so-called “family” channels), we really don’t talk about sex the way we should.

It’s all jokes and references–not really the information that Christian women need to know.


And as a result, there are a LOT of misconceptions about what sex is, what it’s for, and what it does to us spiritually and emotionally — even among Christian women who are old enough to know better!

Personally, I think my mom did a pretty good job of teaching me the things I’d need to know. And yet, I still grew up with tons of misconceptions and misunderstandings that I was taught–not by my parents, but by the CHURCH of all places, and by the culture around me. Maybe you did too.

Do any of these 7 Lies Christian Women Believe About Sex sound familiar to you?

But first…


Is Something Holding You Back from Enjoying Sex Like You Should?


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*This post contains affiliate links, which means if you make a purchase, I may make a small commission at no additional cost to you. This helps cover the many costs of running this site and allows me to help provide for my growing family. Thank you!


Myth #1. Sex is Wrong/Dirty


Sure, some of the ways sex is practiced today are wrong or dirty, but sex as a whole is certainly not wrong or dirty. Sex was God’s idea. It’s God’s gift to us. There’s even a whole book of the Bible devoted to celebrating the love between a young man and his new bride, and it’s seriously graphic!

“How beautiful you are and how pleasing,
my love, with your delights!
Your stature is like that of the palm,
and your breasts like clusters of fruit.
I said, ‘I will climb the palm tree;
I will take hold of its fruit.'”

–Song of Songs 7:6-8a


In the Old Testament, new husbands weren’t allowed to go to war during the first year of their marriage because they had to stay home and “please their wives.”

“If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married.” –Deuteronomy 24:5


And in the New Testament, married couples were encouraged NOT to stop having sex.

“Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” –1 Corinthians 7:5


Myth #2. Marriage Fixes Everything


Of course, just because God created sex within marriage to be good, that doesn’t mean sex is automatically going to be wonderful as soon as you’re married.

If you experimented sexually before marriage (even if it was with your husband), you could have inadvertently created sexual baggage you’ll then bring into your marriage. Or even if you waited until marriage, you might have other hurts, fears or hang-ups that get in your way.

Plus, you might be brand new and just plain not know what you’re doing yet. Every person likes different things, and it takes a lot of time and practice to really reach the level of intimacy God created us to have. (Those these Christian sex tips can help shorten the learning curve!)

So if sex isn’t awesome right off the bat — that’s okay! Sometimes there are obstacles you have to unroot and take care of first, and plus, it just takes some practice. Being one with someone isn’t easy. You have to work at it! So don’t feel bad if it isn’t all unicorns and rainbows right away.

Marriage isn’t a magic pill; it’s a life-long commitment and good sex / intimacy does take work.


Related: 5 Christian Sex Tips for a Happier, Healthier Marriage


Myth #3. Sex is Just for Him


All men love sex, and women just have to grin and bear it? That’s what a lot of selfish guys are happy to let you believe, but it’s not Biblical. God created sex to be enjoyed by both the man AND the woman, and it’s okay to enjoy it! You’re supposed to!

In fact, did you know that God made one part of your body with the SOLE purpose of providing sexual pleasure? Why would He give it to you if He didn’t expect you and your husband to take full advantage of it?? Sex is for you too! Your husband will enjoy it more if you let yourself enjoy it!


Boost your libido Note: If this is an issue you find yourself struggling with right now, or if it feels like you’re never in the mood, definitely check out Boost Your Libido! It will absolutely help you overcome any hurts and hang-ups that are getting in your way so you can enjoy your sex life with your husband too!



Myth #4: Sex is All About Fun and Physical Release


While God did create sex to feel good, it isn’t JUST about feeling good. Sex also creates “soul ties,” or an actual spiritual connection between the two individuals. 

Within the context of marriage, these soul ties are great! They help us to grow in intimacy and love each other more, even we have bills to pay or our husbands do things we disagree with. When we still have leftover soul ties to people we aren’t married to, however, they becomes a serious problem, as they give satan a foothold from which he can attack our marriages, our intimacy, and our sex lives. 

Even if your husband watches porn (either currently or before you were married), this can create baggage and soul ties you’ll need to work through/break.


The Steps to Freedom in Christ* This post gives more information on soul ties and how to break them

* Or if you’re looking for something more in-depth and comprehensive, this step-by-step workbook is a GREAT resource to help with all sorts of spiritual bondage. 



Myth #5: Sex Has to Look a Certain Way


While all of us do have our own preferences for things we like and don’t like, I’d really encourage you not to get trapped that sex has to look one specific way or meet a certain checklist of qualifications to “count.”

As women, our bodies change a LOT over the course of our lifetimes, especially throughout the childbearing years and then once menopause kicks in. So it only makes sense that sex is going to look and feel different depending on the season of your life you’re in.

If something hurts or you’re experiencing significant hurdles, absolutely see a doctor. But if sex is difficult for a season (due to dryness after childbirth or because you’re not in the mood for sex, for example), that doesn’t mean something is wrong with you! It’s just a part of life. Sometimes sex is great, other times, not so much. It’s totally normal.


Myth #6: Sex is Just Another Chore to Cross off the To-Do List


This goes along with a lot of what I’ve said already, but it bears repeating–Sex is not a chore. It’s supposed to be and enjoyable! Yes, take care of your husband, but not just out of obligation. It’s something fun for both of you to do together! Don’t let lack of time stand in your way either! It’s hard to find time for romance with your children are little, but it can be done!

Again, if you struggle to get in the mood or you don’t really enjoy sex when the time comes, the Boost Your Libido course can absolutely help with this too.


Related: 4 Reasons You’re Never in the Mood (and how to fix it!) 


Myth #7: If My Sexual Past is Less than Pretty, I’m “Damaged Goods”


There are so many ways that this can play out, but none of them are true.

  • Made mistakes in your past? God offers forgiveness.
  • Been abused or taking advantage of? God offers healing.
  • Gotten in some bad habits or ruts? You can break free and start fresh.
  • Don’t know how to have a healthy, enjoyable sex life? You can learn.


No matter what has happened in your past, the Bible tells us that we are a new creation in Christ. The old has gone, the new has come! You don’t have to walk in shame or condemnation anymore. You can walk in freedom!


Related: Your Sexual Past Doesn’t Have to Haunt You Anymore


So, how many of these 7 lies Christian women believe about sex have you been guilty of believing? Which one do you most need to work through today? 


And don’t forget…


If you’d rather do the dishes or fold the laundry than have sex with your husband, you’re missing out!


Boost your libido

Check out the Boost Your Libido Course to learn: 

  • Common, everyday things that are preventing you from getting “in the mood”
  • Quick and easy ways to actually look forward to sex with your husband
  • How to love your body, so you aren’t so self-conscious during sex
  • How to overcome past sexual hurts and hang-ups
  • How to readjust your thinking regarding sex
  • How to figure out how to make sex fun and exciting for YOU!

…all from a smart, fun and funny Christian lady full of trustworthy Biblical advice you can implement starting today!


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Brittany Ann is an ECPA bestselling author and founder of Equipping Godly Women and Monetize My Ministry. She’s also a Christian speaker, podcaster, and conference host. Her work has been featured on numerous TV, radio, and online ministries, including CBN, MSN, Christianity Today, Evangelical Alliance, Patheos, Crosswalk, and more.

Brittany Ann Equipping Godly Women

About the author

Brittany Ann is an ECPA bestselling author of “Fall in Love with God’s Word” and “Follow God’s Will” and the founder of EquippingGodlyWomen.com, a popular Christian-living website dedicated to helping busy Christian moms find practical ways to go "all in" in faith and family. Her work has been featured on CBN, The Christian Post, Crosswalk, and more.

  1. This was a really good read. I love all the verses that you included which I never realized were so passionate! Completely changed my mind about sex.

  2. My husband thinks my whole body should be available, including my butthole. I know it is sodomy, he disagrees. This has caused problems in our marriage. He claims to be a Christian but I don’t know now.

    1. This is a good article that will help you address if it’s a sin: https://kevincarson.com/2019/03/09/what-does-the-bible-say-about-anal-sex/. Personally, while we all should be willing to make SOME allowances for each other, we shouldn’t go so far as to do things the other person is adamantly uncomfortable with. That’s just not loving.

      That being said, however, I don’t know that I would call his entire faith into question simply because he believes one thing differently than you do. Is this an important issue? Absolutely. Does it make him not a Christian? Not at all.

    2. BTW, not all men think like your husband. Some of us think like you and are repulsed by the idea of anal sex. However, there is a wide universe of ideas about sex and talking about it in a non-judgmental way will usually bring understanding between two people.

  3. Christian woman are taught to ignore the needs of men, especially sexual needs. Everything she learns about marriage in church is focused on her needs. By the time a Christian woman enters marriage she has a long list of what a man should be doing for her, but NO clue what she should be doing outside of being a ‘godly wife’. This is the main reason why the divorce rate is so high in the church.

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