Need trusted tips or advice for sex in Christian marriage? You’re in luck. Today Gina from GinaMPoirier.com is sharing 5 of her best Christian sex tips to help you build a stronger, healthier Christian marriage!
My husband and I often find ourselves talking with other couples about our sex lives.
I blame him, because he’s a dude who is unabashed about his enjoyment of it. He likes to talk about it and has no hesitation bringing it up. 😄
However, as shy as I can be about talking about sex in Christian marriage, it’s a huge deal!
Sex in Christian marriage might seem complicated. Some may even think it taboo. But Biblical marriage ALSO includes having sex, and few topics create more heartache when not addressed.
We need to talk about sex in Christian marriages to be able to ask real questions. Openly talking about Christian sex advice, both as a couple and with other Christian couples, allows us to help one another where needed.
As my husband puts it, sex can be a barometer for your relationship’s health.
If sex in Christian marriage isn’t running smoothly, there are typically some other problems as well. I have yet to find anyone who has a strong, healthy Christian marriage who isn’t, uh, “doing it” in a healthy way.
Over the 11 years since we exchanged our vows, we’ve received and later given quite a bit of Christian sex advice.
If we could condense it all and share it with newlyweds or a couple struggling with their sexual relationship, here are five Christian sex tips for Christian couples we’d share:
But first…
Do You Ever Wish You and Your Husband Were Closer / More Intimate?
If so, you may want to check out the Boost Your Libido course from Sheila Gregoire at To Love, Honor and Vacuum for lots of Christian marriage intimacy ideas.
In it, she shares tons of funny, fantastic Christian sex advice for married couples to help you overcome constant tiredness, overpacked schedules, hurts and hang-ups, and even hormonal imbalances so you and your husband can finally experience the closeness and intimacy you crave. This is a wonderful course for Christian marriage intimacy ideas!
I’ve been following Sheila’s blog for some time now and I can tell you – she gives really fantastic Christian sex advice in a way that’s down-to-earth, relatable and really funny. If your Biblical marriage isn’t as close as you’d like it to be — this course will absolutely help snag several sex tips for Christian couples!
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5 Christian Sex Tips For a Stronger, Healthier Marriage
1. Consistency Cultivates Intimacy for Sex in Christian Marriage
I used to wonder how often couples are supposed to have sex in order to have a close marriage. Weekly? Twice weekly? Daily? Who knows?
It’s not a bad question because it is really difficult to have true intimacy in a Christian marriage without the physical component. Feeling distant may be a sign that you need to do it more.
There’s no magic number, however. Rather than worry about an exact frequency, try to be generally consistent, whatever that looks like in your relationship. A newlywed couple in their twenties with no kids is going to have a much different dynamic than a more seasoned couple. But both have the same need for consistency.
There can be a lot of reasons why you aren’t in the mood to have sex: pregnancy, babies, health and schedules, to name a few. All I have to say is that you prioritize what’s important. And sex in Christian marriage is important.
Related Reading: Four Reasons You’re Never In the Mood (and how to fix it!)
2. Quickies Are Okay for Christian Marriage Intimacy Ideas
Do you feel like every time you get physically intimate it has to be fireworks? If so, you’re going to set yourself up for disappointment. Never fear. Here is another Christian marriage intimacy idea.
At one point we picked up this Christian sex tip: quickies are okay! Because sometimes, something is better than nothing.
This can be a game-changer, particularly if you have one person in the relationship who has a stronger desire for sex than the other (hmm…I think that’s pretty much the case for every couple).
It’s okay from time to time to meet one partner’s physical needs without having a deep emotional connection.
Most of the time it’s the man who has the stronger physical need. So if you’re the wife of a man with a stronger sex drive and sometimes you just aren’t there, permit yourselves to do something quick. While you don’t want to make this the only way you have sex, it is a way to help him feel loved even on those days when you’re completely exhausted and there’s no other way it’s going to work.
Related post: 7 Lies Christian Women Believe About Sex
3. Get Adventurous from Time to Time
Despite the last Christian marriage intimacy idea being a great one, doing quickies all the time would be really lame and boring. That’s why another great piece of Christian sex advice for married couples is: it’s also important to get adventurous. What that means is entirely up to you, but some ideas to mix up sex in Christian marriage include atmosphere, attire, location and yes, position.
I won’t be any more explicit than that, but consider some of your favorite memories as a couple. Do they include your sex life? They should.
There’s an episode of This is Us (yes, I love it) in which one of the main characters and his wife get a night in a fancy hotel room. Immediately upon arrival he inspects the room and starts scheming about all the ways they’re going to enjoy a sexy evening together. (Incidentally, she’s distracted because she thinks she might be pregnant, but that’s beside the point). I laughed and told my husband that is exactly what he would have done!
Christian sex tips for married couples can be as easy as keeping it exciting by scheming, experimenting and exploring together. No longer about how long you’ve been married, plan dates, trips and romantic evenings at home together with this in mind.
**Note: Getting adventurous should absolutely NOT involve porn. This article shares why (and what to do about it if your husband does): Help! My Husband Watches Porn! (Here’s How to Respond)
4. Don’t Forget to Laugh
I wish I would have had this Christian sex advice for married couples. If there’s one thing that I didn’t expect as a newlywed, it’s that sex is often messy and hilarious!
One of the reasons it creates intimacy is because you have literally nothing to hide from the other person. It’s all out there. But that doesn’t mean you have to take yourselves too seriously. When something awkward happens, laugh about it together.
One caveat, however: make sure neither of you feels like you’re being laughed at rather than with. Sex can bring out a lot of insecurities. You know your dynamic best, so laugh, but be sensitive.
*Related Post: 10 Ways to Make Your Marriage Fun Again
5. Talk about It, But NOT When You’re in the Middle of It
So how do you make all of these Christian sex tips work in your relationship? You have to talk about sex—but not while you’re in the middle of it. It’s a total mood-killer. Plus, you’re literally in the most vulnerable position you can be, so the wrong words can hurt exponentially more, especially if you have a sexual past that still haunts you. Keep talk during sex positive, and save the heavy stuff for later.
Having a productive conversation about your sex life needs to happen in an atmosphere that is emotionally safe. Be honest about your needs, don’t judge and seek to be a great listener.
Bonus tip: Read a Couple of Christian Marriage Books!
Love and passion can play a HUGE role in taking sex in Christian marriages to a deeper, more intimate level. Maybe your relationship needs a little boost in this department. And a great way to help that is to read a couple of Christian marriage books.
Feeling distant from your partner can decrease your desire for intimacy. Luckily, there are several Christian marriage books that can help deepen your love both spiritually and physically … like this one. “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts”.
If you are already good to go on the desire for intimacy, but maybe need more advice along the technical side, there are other Christian marriage books that talk about all of the nitty-gritty details. Check this one out. “Intended for Pleasure: Sex Technique and Sexual Fulfillment in Christian Marriage”.
And Don’t Forget this e-Course for Great Advice
About Sex in Christian Marriage!
I think this about sums it up:
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Colossians 3:12–14, NIV
My husband and I haven’t figured it all out, and that is why sex is always an open conversation between us.
Related post: Four Marriage Communication Skills That Prevent Fights
Are you comfortable talking about sex in Christian marriage? Which one of these Christian sex tips do you think would help you most? Do you have any Christian marriage sex advice to share with others?
Don’t forget, if you want to experience a truly intimate relationship, with the closeness you crave, you really need to check out this e-course. You will love these Christian sex tips for married couples.
Sheila shares tons of funny, fantastic Christian marriage sex advice to help you overcome constant tiredness, overpacked schedules, hurts and hang-ups, and even hormonal imbalances.
I’ve been following Sheila’s blog for some time now and I can tell you – she gives really fantastic Christian marriage sex advice in a way that’s down-to-earth, relatable and really funny. If your Biblical marriage isn’t as close as you’d like it to be — this course will absolutely help!
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This was really helpful! I think it’s good for Christian women to talk about sex, because, unfortunately in our “over-sexed” culture, it can be very taboo or awkward. I like giving permission to have quickies. I totally agree that something is better than nothing. I am definitely one of those who is hardly “in the mood.” I can definitely tell in our relationship when we have gone too long without it. Sometimes I will try to sit and talk with my husband about what is “wrong” and try to get him to open up… And it’s like pulling teeth! Then we have sex, and he’s a new man! I have finally realized that I need to just skip the talking and go straight to the bed! 🙂
But I have so learned that “fake it til you make it” is so true!! I will often NOT be in the mood, but go ahead and get the process going, and eventually I’m into it as much as he is. If I really waited until I wanted it every time, it would be like one day a month lol!! Thank you for sharing!
LOL “skip the talking and go straight to bed” — that is sooooo true! My husband would nod in approval
Are different types of oral sex sinful?
This is the BEST article that talks about what’s okay/not okay for Christians: https://arabahjoy.com/christian-sex-guide/ I bet it will help!
Modern woman believe the lies the church teaches about sex . The church teaches no ,no,no and faile to teach to true of mariaged sex . Woman confided in each other to confirm they all feel the same way. This is satin trick . God create equal sex drives only to be distorted by thousand of year of church dogma. Read Song of Solomon . The truth is sex in side of marriage was meant to be intimate bonding experience for both men and woman. What a shame we fail to read the Bible and believe what it says. We believe science lol