Need tips or advice for sex in Christian marriage? You’re in luck. Today Gina from GinaMPoirier.com is sharing 5 of her best Christian sex tips to help you build a stronger, healthier Christian marriage!
My husband and I often find ourselves talking with other couples about our sex lives.
I blame him, because he’s a dude who is unabashed about his enjoyment of it. He likes to talk about it and has no hesitation bringing it up.
However, as shy as I can be about talking about sex in Christian marriage, it’s a huge deal!
Sex in Christian marriage might seem complicated. Some may even think it taboo. But Biblical marriage ALSO includes having sex, and few topics create more heartache when not addressed.
We need to talk about sex in Christian marriages to be able to ask real questions. Openly talking about Christian sex advice, both as a couple and with other Christian couples, allows us to help one another where needed.
As my husband puts it, sex can be a barometer for your relationship’s health.
If sex in Christian marriage isn’t running smoothly, there are typically some other problems as well. I have yet to find anyone who has a strong, healthy Christian marriage who isn’t, uh, “doing it” in a healthy way.
Over the 11 years since we exchanged our vows, we’ve received and later given quite a bit of Christian sex advice.
If we could condense it all and share it with newlyweds or a couple struggling with their sexual relationship, here are five Christian sex tips for Christian couples we’d share:
But first…
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If so, you may want to check out the Boost Your Libido course from Sheila Gregoire at To Love, Honor and Vacuum for lots of Christian marriage intimacy ideas.
In it, she shares tons of funny, fantastic Christian sex advice for married couples to help you overcome constant tiredness, overpacked schedules, hurts and hang-ups, and even hormonal imbalances so you and your husband can finally experience the closeness and intimacy you crave. This is a wonderful course for Christian marriage intimacy ideas!
I’ve been following Sheila’s blog for some time now and I can tell you – she gives really fantastic Christian sex advice in a way that’s down-to-earth, relatable and really funny. If your Biblical marriage isn’t as close as you’d like it to be — this course will absolutely help snag several sex tips for Christian couples!
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5 Tips For Better Sex in Christian Marriage
1. Consistency Cultivates Intimacy
I used to wonder how often couples are supposed to have sex in a Christian marriage. Weekly? Twice weekly? Daily? Who knows?
It’s not a bad question because it is really difficult to have true intimacy in a Christian marriage without the physical component. Feeling distant may be a sign that you need to do it more.
There’s no magic number, however. Rather than worry about an exact frequency, try to be generally consistent, whatever that looks like in your relationship. A newlywed couple in their twenties with no kids is going to have a much different dynamic than a more seasoned couple. But both have the same need for consistency.
There can be a lot of reasons why you aren’t in the mood to have sex: pregnancy, babies, health and schedules, to name a few. All I have to say is that you prioritize what’s important. And sex in Christian marriage is important.
Do you feel like every time you get physically intimate it has to be fireworks? If so, you’re going to set yourself up for disappointment.
Here is another Christian marriage intimacy idea worth noting: Quickies are okay!
Because sometimes, something is better than nothing.
This Christian sex tip can be a game-changer, particularly if you have one person in the relationship who has a stronger desire for sex than the other (hmm…I think that’s pretty much the case for every couple).
It’s okay from time to time to meet one partner’s physical needs without having a deep emotional connection.
Most of the time it’s the man who has the stronger physical need. So if you’re the wife of a man with a stronger sex drive and sometimes you just aren’t there, permit yourselves to do something quick. While you don’t want to make this the only way you have sex, it is a way to help him feel loved even on those days when you’re completely exhausted and there’s no other way it’s going to work.
Despite the last Christian marriage intimacy idea being a great one, doing quickies all the time would be really lame and boring.
That’s why another great piece of Christian sex advice for married couples is: it’s also important to get adventurous.
What that means is entirely up to you, but some ideas to mix up sex in Christian marriage include atmosphere, attire, location and yes, position.
I won’t be any more explicit than that, but consider some of your favorite memories as a couple. Do they include your sex life?
If not, why not plan to make some new memories soon!
Christian sex tips for married couples can be as easy as keeping it exciting by scheming, experimenting and exploring together. No longer about how long you’ve been married, plan dates, trips and romantic evenings at home together with this in mind.
I wish I would have had this Christian sex advice for married couples. If there’s one thing that I didn’t expect as a newlywed, it’s that sex is often messy and hilarious!
One of the reasons it creates intimacy is because you have literally nothing to hide from the other person. It’s all out there. But that doesn’t mean you have to take yourselves too seriously. When something awkward happens, laugh about it together.
One caveat, however: make sure neither of you feels like you’re being laughed at rather than with. Sex can bring out a lot of insecurities. You know your dynamic best, so laugh, but be sensitive.
5. Talk about It, But NOT When You’re in the Middle of It
So how do you make all of these Christian sex tips work in your relationship? You have to talk about sex—but not while you’re in the middle of it. It’s a total mood-killer. Plus, you’re literally in the most vulnerable position you can be, so the wrong words can hurt exponentially more, especially if you have a sexual past that still haunts you. Keep talk during sex positive, and save the heavy stuff for later.
Having a productive conversation about your sex life needs to happen in an atmosphere that is emotionally safe. Be honest about your needs, don’t judge and seek to be a great listener.
Not sure where to start the conversation? There are tons of books to get you thinking — and talking.
And don’t forget — If you want to experience a truly intimate relationship, with the closeness you crave, you really need to check out the Boost Your Libido course by Sheila Wray Gregoire from ToLoveHonorandVacumm.
Whether your sex life needs a LOT of work or it could simply use a little extra spark — You’ll love these Christian sex tips for married couples!
Sheila shares tons of funny, fantastic Christian marriage sex advice to help you overcome constant tiredness, overpacked schedules, hurts and hang-ups, and even hormonal imbalances.
I’ve been following Sheila’s blog for some time now and I can tell you – she gives really fantastic Christian marriage sex advice in a way that’s down-to-earth, relatable and really funny. If your Biblical marriage isn’t as close as you’d like it to be — this course will absolutely help!
Are you comfortable talking about sex in Christian marriage? Which one of these Christian sex tips do you think would help you most? Do you have any Christian marriage sex advice to share with others?
About the author
Gina Poirier is a happily married mom of five, stress management coach and writer who helps overwhelmed, exhausted moms find peace and purpose in the everyday. You can find her at her website, GinaMPoirier.com.
well, I had so much to learn here. But I think that some of the things the church banned as taboo aren’t really bad. There was a time missionary was the only accepted sex position. Oral sex for example is good and ok for Christians who consent to it. Anal sex is wrong both morally and medically.
Speaking as an exhausted wife myself: Yes, sometimes. But if she's *always* too exhausted, then the couple needs to work together to figure out how she can get the help she needs with the kids/around the house, etc so she gets that sleep AND can still enjoy time with her husband (not only for his benefit, but also for hers). Yes, there are certainly seasons to marriage, but if it's becoming an "all the time" type issue, then it's probably time to have a conversation about it. It's not fair to either of them for her to just say, "I'm always too tired. This is just my life now." when it really doesn't have to be.
Why assume that Dan meant 'always'? There will be times when sleep takes priority, there will have to be. It wan't clear from Dan's comment. Of course a couple will have to make sure they are prioritizing rest, preparation etc so they can have sex. But SOMETIMES sleep is needed more. I know I would not be able to engage fully and enthusiastically if I were really exhausted. Postponing sex for a few hours or until the next day is perfectly acceptable. Could that have been what Dan meant?
If the only escape route for her tiredness is sleep…..I bet she will slip herself out of the marriage.
I think it's about balance. Not being overly tired always wanting to sleep (communication and resolution of the root cause required) and not caving in to the other's desires all the time (causing burn out or neglect of feelings later). Both scenarios will cause problems.
Jumping the gun a bit Holla, we're talking about prioritizing sleep here, not divorce.
In too many marriages, sex revolves around the husband's pleasure. It's fine to have a "quickie" once in a while but most of the time the wife's pleasure should also be a priority. Otherwise she will lose interest. That is how many marriages end up sexless.A lot of husbands think their wives "don't like sex" when in reality it's just that they focus entirely on their own pleasure and their wives get nothing out of it.
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well, I had so much to learn here. But I think that some of the things the church banned as taboo aren’t really bad. There was a time missionary was the only accepted sex position. Oral sex for example is good and ok for Christians who consent to it. Anal sex is wrong both morally and medically.
The need for a wife who is exhausted is sleep. Sleep in this case should be prioritized, not his need for a quickie.
Speaking as an exhausted wife myself: Yes, sometimes. But if she's *always* too exhausted, then the couple needs to work together to figure out how she can get the help she needs with the kids/around the house, etc so she gets that sleep AND can still enjoy time with her husband (not only for his benefit, but also for hers). Yes, there are certainly seasons to marriage, but if it's becoming an "all the time" type issue, then it's probably time to have a conversation about it. It's not fair to either of them for her to just say, "I'm always too tired. This is just my life now." when it really doesn't have to be.
Why assume that Dan meant 'always'? There will be times when sleep takes priority, there will have to be. It wan't clear from Dan's comment. Of course a couple will have to make sure they are prioritizing rest, preparation etc so they can have sex. But SOMETIMES sleep is needed more. I know I would not be able to engage fully and enthusiastically if I were really exhausted. Postponing sex for a few hours or until the next day is perfectly acceptable. Could that have been what Dan meant?
If the only escape route for her tiredness is sleep…..I bet she will slip herself out of the marriage.
I think it's about balance. Not being overly tired always wanting to sleep (communication and resolution of the root cause required) and not caving in to the other's desires all the time (causing burn out or neglect of feelings later). Both scenarios will cause problems.
Jumping the gun a bit Holla, we're talking about prioritizing sleep here, not divorce.
Whaat??
Sex is not a taboo but church makes it look so.
In too many marriages, sex revolves around the husband's pleasure. It's fine to have a "quickie" once in a while but most of the time the wife's pleasure should also be a priority. Otherwise she will lose interest. That is how many marriages end up sexless.A lot of husbands think their wives "don't like sex" when in reality it's just that they focus entirely on their own pleasure and their wives get nothing out of it.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and perspective.