My husband and I have been married almost eight years now. Short enough that we are still learning every day, but long enough that we’re starting to fall into some of the same ol’ routines.
And while I’m a huge fan of routines in daily life, when things get TOO routine, they often start to get boring and stale… and no one wants that!
Are you and your husband stuck in the same ol’ same ol’ boring routine? Why not take some steps to make your marriage fun again?
(I mean, since you’re stuck with each other–might as well make the most of it, right 😉 )
It’s possible to make your marriage exciting again, even after a decade or more, before it starts to feel like you’re more like roommates than lovers.
Here are 10 ways to do just that.
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1. Carve Out Time for Each Other
Between work, school, church and other family obligations (it’s especially hard to find time for romance when your children are little), it’s all too easy to get so busy that you barely have any time left for each other. Don’t let this happen.
Whether it’s once a week, once a month or 15 minutes at the end of each day, carve out a special space for one-on-one time and intimate conversation. Put it on your calendar and guard it closely. After all, you can’t have fun together if you never spend any time together, now can you?
Good marriages don’t just happen. You have to be intentional about it.
*See Also: 3 Ways to Fight For Your Marriage When You’re Busy and Exhausted
2. Surprise Each Other
That being said, you don’t have to wait until you can block out a chunk of time together before you can do something fun. There are plenty of little things you can do all throughout the day to him know you’re thinking of him, and they only take a minute. If you know your spouse’s love language, that’s even better!
For example, you could:
- Send him sweet, funny or sexy text messages while he’s at work. (Not sure what to write? Here are 365 Text Message Love Note Ideas to get you started.)
- Surprise him with a extra long kiss – do it when he’s least expecting it.
- Leave sexy sticky notes where he’s sure to find them — in his sock drawer, on the mirror, alllll over the inside of his car 🙂 (Use these sexy sticky notes – they’re absolutely adorable)
- Give him a back rub
- Make his favorite meal
- Write him a love letter of appreciation for all of the things he’s done for your family lately.
3. Get Silly
Who says that when you grow up, you have to be serious all the time? Let loose and get silly!
Surprise him with silly string, goofy glasses or a water balloon fight. Tell corny jokes, have tickle fights, or arrange a hilarious scavenger hunt.
One morning I woke up and my husband had put sunglasses on a pineapple sitting on the counter. I laughed about it all day! Another time, I crab-walked down a busy, downtown sidewalk just to make him smile. That’s totally not like me. It worked, though, and he still remembers it to this day.
Sure, you run the risk of embarrassing yourself, but you’ll also get some hilarious stories to look back on. And isn’t a good marriage worth it?
4. Try Something New
What have you always wanted to learn, do or try that you’ve never gotten a chance to? Why not learn together?
Whether it’s something as adventurous as skydiving or as relaxing as paddle boating, learning something new together is a great way to keep things fresh, exciting and interesting. Plus, there are all sorts of options for every budget and time frame, so you truly have no excuse.
Not sure where to start? This 52 Dates for Two pack has 52 fun, new and exciting date ideas all prepped and ready to go so you never have to wonder “What should we do tonight?” Just grab a card and head out for another exciting adventure.
Oh, and be sure to take a picture! I LOVE the idea of assembling it into a photo album at the end of the year – how fun would that be to look back on?
*Related: 25 Fun and Frugal Date Night Ideas
5. Find New Reasons to Celebrate
Today, my son did really well on his math test at school. I made a big fuss over him, and he was absolutely beaming. He loved the attention.
As moms, it’s so easy to make a fuss over our children, but how often do we celebrate our spouses and our marriages? Sure there is Valentine’s Day and our anniversary, but is twice a year really enough? (And if you’re like some super practical people–myself included–you might not even make a fuss over those!)
So find things to celebrate.
Made it through a weekend with the in-laws? Awesome! Agreed on which couch to buy AND what paint color to use in the living room? That’s great! High fives and cupcakes for everyone! You’re rockin’ this marriage thing.
Oh, and don’t forget that National Husband Appreciation Day is now a thing! Celebrate that!
6. Choose to Be Positive
Sure, you could argue that those things aren’t really worth celebrating. You could argue that your marriage is broken, and your life is so bad that it isn’t worth celebrating at all. And maybe it is; I don’t know your situation.
But the fact is — every day, you have a choice. You can choose to be positive and focus on the good things in life, or you can choose to be negative and focus on the bad.
Even if your home is falling apart, even if your spouse is a jerk, even if your sex life is non-existent, even if your husband watches porn, even if your kids hate you… You still have a choice. Make it a good one. And *hopefully* the rest of your family will follow along.
7. Be Affectionate
Is your or your spouse’s love language physical touch? Then a little physical affection is an absolutely must. Don’t save it for the bedroom either – make it a part of your every day!
Kiss each other every time you leave and every time you return. Hold hands when out and about, even if it’s just at the grocery store. Grab each other’s bottoms as you walk by, or playfully graze a thigh when no one is looking.
And then, of course, don’t forget to take it to the bedroom too!
*Related: 5 Christian Sex Tips for a Healthier, Stronger Marriage
8. Play Games Together
When is the last time you and your hubby busted out the board games? If it’s been a while, it might be time to pull them out and dust them off. A little friendly competition is a great way to have fun in marriage–and it can be done on next to no notice for next to no money, if not free.
Play a board game like Sorry or a card game like Uno (strip poker is always a good choice). Play along with a game show on TV, like Family Feud or Wheel of Fortune. Go out and play tennis or basketball, or set up a mini golf course right in your own backyard. Play by the rules or invent your own–just as long as you’re having fun!
Keep them G-rated and family friendly for a little sweet fun, or put the kids to bed and try a sweet and sexy grown-up game — it’s up to you!
*See Also: 16 At-Home Date Night Ideas You’ll Love
9. Daydream Together
What would you do if you won 1,000? What if you had a whole month off of work and nothing to do? What will you do once retirement age rolls around?
While these things may be unlikely or at least a ways off, they are sure fun to dream about! So, what would you do? What would your husband do? Daydream together!
Plus, you may just decide your dreams and goals aren’t as crazy or unrealistic as you thought they might be… and maybe you could even come up with a plan for making them actually happen.
10. Let Go of the Little Things
Mad at your spouse about something? It happens.
But while minor irritations and annoyances may be unavoidable, the anger you feel after the fact doesn’t have to be.
*See Also: Four Marriage Communication Skills that Prevent Fights
Your husband doesn’t pick up his socks? Annoying, but not the end of the world. He’s gained a few pounds around his middle? Not fun, but it could be way worse.
Yes, if there are major issues, you will need to address them and deal with them, but for minor things, why not just let them go? The only thing nagging accomplishes is making people irritated, and chances are you have your fair share of annoying habits as well. (just sayin…)
Do you and your husband have anything you do currently to keep your marriage fun? Or is there anything you need to change to bring some more fun back into your marriage?
Great pointers! I’m definitely keeping this list handy for when my time comes for marriage.
Being a stay at home mom can be hard at times but one way my husband and I try to stay connected is texting each other …. Yes it feels and I love to hear him say I love u but with his job a simple txt will do the trick….
Hey, sometimes it’s the smallest things that make the biggest difference!
Great advice, but I almost left your page without reading it. I had just started the article when your pop up covered half the page and wouldn’t go away until I added a fake email. I might have given my real one eventually, but at that point I had only read one paragraph – definitely not enough to know if I want you emailing me every day. I’m not trying to be harsh, just honest.
Thanks for letting me know! I really appreciate it! I recently created that pop up and had checked it on desktop, but hadn’t checked it on mobile yet. I definitely don’t want to get in people’s way of reading the article, so I took it off until I can get it fixed. Sorry for the inconvenience!!
I need help. I am too emotional. I misunderstand my husband always. I seem not to know when not to take offense. The issues we have in our marriage is mostly because of me.I’m no fun for my husband. I’m so confused… I feel guilty most times for putting him through all of these. we have an eight month old…I’m really afraid for my marriage.
Awww, I’m sorry to hear that. I actually have a couple articles publishing in the next few weeks on troubled marriage and communication in marriage that I think will be very helpful for you. Why don’t you go ahead and sign up for emails if you haven’t already and I’ll email you when they publish. You can sign up here: https://equippinggodlywomen.com/join-the-community/ (You could just check back too, but it’ll be a couple weeks and you run the risk of forgetting if you do that). Anyways, I really think they will help you.
I enjoy reading your articles a lot and I feel they can help me but i need my husband to read them also but o don’t know how to approach this. My marriage really needs help.
What do I do if I’m nervous about it,it’s been about 20 years since we played,but I’d like to be silly and playful with my husband sometimes but think he may think I’m crazy
Start small, start slow. He won’t be used to it at first and may wonder what’s gotten into you. That’s okay. It won’t be long til you find a new groove 🙂 You could always start by suggesting something you know he’s been wanting to do that you haven’t been up for. Or ask for a fun outing for Christmas?