In an unequally yoked marriage? Whether your husband is totally opposed to Christianity or just not that interested, here’s how to cope.
Should Christians marry non-Christians? Unfortunately for many starry eyed single Christians out there, the Bible clearly states the answer is no.
We find this in 2 Corinthians 6:14a, which reads, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.”
(Please note: This isn’t because non-Christians are somehow “less than” or “not good enough.” And it does not in any way imply that someone who isn’t a Christian can’t be kind, loving and a wonderful person or that they can’t help you grow in faith. Most are lovely people, and I’m sure plenty would even encourage you to grow.
BUT if you truly want to make God your #1 priority in life and spend your days growing in Him, it only makes sense that you’d want your other half to share the same goals and dreams for your life. In an unequally yoked marriage — you’re headed in different directions spiritually.)
But what about if you’re a Christian already married to a non-Christian in an unequally yoked marriage? What should you do then?
After all, life can be messy sometimes and things don’t always work out as planned.
Perhaps your faith wasn’t that strong when you married, and you’ve grown since. Or perhaps you were once both strong Christians, but he fell away.
Either way — now you find yourself in a situation where you’re wanting to grow in faith while he could care less. Maybe he’s even hostile towards Christianity. That’s a very tricky situation to be in. And that’s when we turn to the Bible.
* Married to someone who is a Christian, but just a different denomination? Learn what to do when you and your spouse have differing beliefs here.
*This post contains affiliate links, which means if you make a purchase, I may make a small commission at no additional cost to you. This helps cover the many costs of running this site and allows me to help provide for my growing family. Thank you!
Feel Like You Are Following God’s Will — Alone? Here’s Help!
It can sure be lonely to feel that you are walking in your faith without your husband by your side. But don’t let fear or despair hold you back from pursuing God’s plan for your life! An unequally yoked marriage isn’t the end — even when it’s tough!
The truth is, God has a purpose for you — right where you are. Ready to find your calling and start living your life for the only One who will never let you down?
I’d love for you to check out my brand new book, Follow God’s Will: Biblical Guidelines for Everyday Life, along with the Follow God’s Will companion workbook.
Practical, encouraging, and full of biblical truth, Follow God’s Will is designed to help you answer questions including:
- What does God want me to do?
- How do I apply the Bible’s instructions to my life today?
- Where is God calling me personally?
- How can I make a difference right where I am?
- How should I navigate relationships with those who think, act, or believe differently than I do?
- And so many more!
Want to start reading for free?
Simply enter your first name and email below, and I’ll send you an exclusive “first-peek” right away, right to your inbox!
The Bible on Unequally Yoked Marriage
For information on how to live peacefully as a believer in an unequally yoked marriage, we turn to 1 Corinthians 7, which has a section devoted to the topic:
And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
–1 Corinthians 7:13-16
It’s a short passage, but combined with the rest of the chapter, cross-referenced with other portions of Scripture and combined with practical advice from other spouses who have been on both sides of the debate (ie: I did a LOT of research on this one, folks!), I do believe it is possible to grow in faith while still married to an unbeliever, and here’s how:
1. Respect His Right to Decide
Whether you agree with your husband’s beliefs or not, the truth is that he is still an adult and he is still entitled make his own decisions. You cannot force, nag, manipulate or pester him into caring about Jesus and Christianity, nor should you try to. It’s his choice.
As I wrote in my previous article, You are Not Your Husband’s Holy Spirit: “There is a Holy Spirit — and you’re not him!”
Even if you’re in an unequally yoked marriage, it is not your job to change your husband, make him grow or get him to convert. That’s the Holy Spirit’s job, not yours.
You can invite your husband to church if you think he might come. You can share some of your testimony if you think he might be interested. You can tell him about the cool Bible story you just read if you think he’d care.
But you can’t force him to believe or care. You have to let him choose for himself.
*Related post: When Your Husband Makes Decisions You Don’t Agree With
2. Take Responsibility for You
Just as your husband has the right and responsibility to choose what he will believe and how he will behave, you also have the right and responsibility to choose for yourself how YOU will behave.
This means that if you choose to be a Christian, you also choose to act like one.
This means practicing the fruits of the spirit: love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Gal 5:22-23)
It means living out all of the characteristics of love listed in 1 Corinthians 13: patience, kindness, no envy, no boasting and no pride. It means no dishonoring others, putting yourself first, angering easily, or keeping record of wrongs. It means rejoicing in the truth, always protecting, always trusting, always hoping and always persevering.
Can you say you do all of these things consistently?
(Seriously — take a good long look at those lists. How well do they describe the way you treat your husband when you disagree?)
Because the Bible does not say “Respect your husband IF he does things your way” or “Submit to your husband IF he is kind to you.” Being in an unequally yoked marriage does not let you “off the hook.”
Rather, the Bible says you are to submit to your husband SO THAT it will be a testimony to them.
Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. — 1 Peter 3:1-
Now, of course, this is where it gets very tricky. Because we know that while we are to submit to our husbands (using the Biblical definition of submission), we also know that we are supposed to submit to God first of all. And it can be REALLY tricky to know where that line is!
*See Also: What Strong Christian Women Need to Know About Submission
You want to be polite and respectful, but you don’t want to go so far as to let your husband be a complete jerk to you while you’re just a helpless doormat. That’s not okay, and that’s not what Biblical submission is about at all.
But on your wedding day, you made vows before God and man – vows to love and honor and cherish – and God still expects you to keep them.
A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. — 1 Corinthians 7:39
**Please note: There ARE some very real exceptions to this, including – but not limited to – divorce and adultery. You can find more on this topic here: Is Divorce Ever Okay?
3. Seek to Understand
Okay, so once you understand your husband’s rights and responsibilities within your marriage and your rights and responsibilities within your unequally yoked marriage (because you both have both — though I can’t adequately cover them all in this article), what happens next?
Seek to understand.
Talk to him. Don’t just assume where he’s at or how he feels; find out how he actually feels and what he actually believes and why.
I will warn you, this may be painful. You may not like (you probably won’t like) everything he has to say. But remember step #1 — that’s his choice. Your choice is simply to get to know him and understand his thought process as much as you can.
For example:
- Does he believe in God? Or is he convinced there is no God, open to the idea of an alternate god, or unsure?
- What does he believe about the Bible? Does he believe any of it is true ? Does he think it’s ridiculous brainwashing?
- How does he feel about you being a Christian? Is he supportive, indifferent or opposed?
- How does he feel about church? Does he just think it’s boring and a waste of time, or is he totally opposed? Are there certain aspects that he feels strongly about?
- Is there a particular reason or experience that turned him off from Christianity, or is he just not interested?
- How did his family handle religion growing up?
As you are having this conversation, be very careful not to show judgment or argue. Yes, you are absolutely allowed to have feelings too, and yes, there are some misconceptions that you may want to clear up. BUT now is not the time and place for that.
Because if he feels like you are judging him, trying to change him, or not really listening, it may cause him to shut down and close up. This is not what you want. You’re just trying to gather more information and put yourself in his shoes so you can understand the situation and get some insights in how to best approach it.
4. Discuss Expectations and Non-Negotiables
Of course, even once you’ve laid a foundation of respect and understanding, you’re still going to have to figure out how to navigate all of the small decisions that you will need to make in your family on a day-to-day basis.
Decisions such as:
- How will you spend Christmas?
- Will your kids go to private Christian school, public school or homeschool?
- What kind of movies, music and reading material will you bring into your home?
- Will any of your family members attend church and how often?
- Will you tithe or give to those in need? To whom will you give and how much?
If you wait until these issues come up to talk about them, life is going to feel like a never-ending tug-of-war between who gets their way the majority of the time.
Instead, you’ll want to talk about as many of them as you can in advance, preferably when you have time to sit down together and have an actual conversation – not just in passing comments here and there. Of course, there will likely be issues that come up seemingly out of nowhere (you can’t anticipate everything), but the more things you can discuss, the better.
And how do you decide who gets to do which thing “their way?”
Start by finding out which topics are MOST important to each of you. Perhaps Christmas has always been a huge deal in your family, but it wasn’t really in his. If it’s a huge deal to one of you and the other doesn’t really care that much, there you go.
Next, find out which parts or aspects of the issue each of you care about the most. For example, maybe you BOTH care about Christmas, but you really want to go to church and he really wants to sleep in and open presents with the kids. Why not take the kids to church the night before or later in the day and do both?
If there are any issues you absolutely refuse to budge on, don’t give him false hope by saying “maybe.” Just be honest with each other with the what and why — but do it in a polite way.
But honestly, there really should NOT be many issues like this AT ALL. Almost everything can be figured out by working together and finding a solution that works for both of you (even if it isn’t what you prefer).
In our family, we go to a Catholic Church I’m honestly not a huge fan of. But I’d MUCH rather our family all go to a church that isn’t my favorite, than have that be a source of stress and contention in our marriage. I can supplement with Christian radio and Bible studies and sermons online all I like, if I feel the need. Going to a church that isn’t my favorite isn’t the end of the world and there’s no need to make a fuss about it.
My husband respects my right to not convert to Catholicism at this time (see #1 above!), and I’m more than happy to send our kids to Catholic church and school.
Yes, they’ll learn the “Hail Mary” (which I’m not a fan of), but it isn’t going to kill them. This is what works for us.
5. Choose to Focus on the Positives
Would it be nice if you and your husband had the exact same beliefs? Sure. But that’s not your reality, unfortunately.
So instead of complaining about it, why not choose to focus on the positives and make the most of it?
- Is your husband a good person? That’s great!
- Does he love you and your family and treat you well? Praise the Lord! (If not, go here)
- Does he let YOU go to church even though he’s not interested? Fantastic!
And one of the biggest positives? Your differing beliefs will absolutely challenge and grow your faith – in a GOOD way – if you let them.
When you and your husband believe the exact same thing, your beliefs go unchecked. You can rest on faulty assumptions and habits that are just your way of doing things.
But when you don’t agree and you try to come together, it absolutely forces you to examine your beliefs, know why you believe them and make sure they are actually true and solid.
For me, I found out a lot of the things I had been taught growing up weren’t actually true!
Learn what you believe and why enough to defend it, and your faith can grow in amazing ways as a result. And that’s a very, very good thing.
6. PRAY!
And last but certainly not least — PRAY!
Just because your husband isn’t receptive to faith now doesn’t necessarily mean he never will be. We serve a God of miracles — a God who can do ANYTHING. Nothing is impossible for Him. Even an unequally yoked marriage.
Will your husband one day be on fire for Christ? I have no way of knowing. But I do know that as you are faithful to what God has called YOU to, He will be with you every step of the way.
*Related: 5 Powerful Prayers Every Wife Should Pray Over Her Husband
What Does the Bible Say About Following God’s Will — When Your Husband Won’t?
Don’t let loneliness or discouragement get the better of your heart! Even when your partner in life isn’t your partner in spiritual matters, you can still follow God’s will for a life of peace, abundance, and love.
Dive deep into what the Bible says about God’s will for your life — wherever you are, and whatever your circumstance.
I’m so excited to share my brand new book for your life’s unique situation — Follow God’s Will: Biblical Guidelines for Everyday Life (along with the Follow God’s Will companion workbook).
Practical, encouraging, and full of biblical truth, Follow God’s Will is designed to help you answer questions including:
- What does God want me to do?
- How do I apply the Bible’s instructions to my life today?
- Where is God calling me personally?
- How can I make a difference right where I am?
- How should I navigate relationships with those who think, act, or believe differently than I do?
- And so many more!
Want to start reading for free?
Simply enter your first name and email below, and I’ll send you an exclusive “first-peek” right away, right to your inbox!
Alright, now I’d love to hear from some of you with more personal experience in this area!
Are you in an unequally yoked marriage? What is it like and how do you get through it?
This was an interesting read. The one thing that I’d say, as an atheist speaking here, is that you say it’s our choices a lot in the article. I believe that I understand your context but it could be taken as saying that people choose their beliefs which is probably not what you’d want to convey. Cheers!
Hi, Evan! Thanks for visiting 🙂 Actually, I’m totally fine with conveying that messages. Our beliefs ARE our choice. We have free will. God doesn’t force us to believe either way. Instead, He provides us with just enough evidence so that if we choose to believe, we can. But if we choose to reject Him, we have that option too.
Now of course, practically speaking, people are often going to stick with the beliefs they’ve been raised with, but you certainly don’t have to. For example, I grew up in one denomination of Christianity (Baptist) that I realized after further research simply wasn’t true. Now, I’m researching another (Catholicism), but I’m not committing until I’ve found really solid, logical, factual reason to convert.
Personally, I love that God doesn’t force us to believe, or require us to just go on what “feels good.” We really do have proofs we can research to find out more about God and what’s true. I share more on that here, if you’re interested: Christianity: Fact or Fiction. Worth looking into at least, right? 🙂
Brittany, thanks for your reply. While the subject of free will is a much larger topic than a comment thread would support, I think our concepts of choosing beliefs are not the same. To me, your perspective is that we can choose our actions that are centered around our beliefs. However is that really the same thing as choosing what you believe? I’m saying that people either believe something or don’t. You can continue to reevaluate the reasons for the beliefs you hold but can you just, one day, say “I believe X” and that actually be true? I understand that this is very philosophical and greater minds than me are continuing to tackle the subject of belief and free will but both subjects are not as black/white as many like to think.
No, I really do believe that people can choose to believe what they want. Sure, it may not be an easy choice — you probably can’t just wake up one day and say “I choose to believe xyz!” But every day we are presented with opportunities that could easily be explained either way. And while we probably don’t just suddenly change our beliefs, we can choose to be open or closed to various explanations, and to research or not research different things.
For example, in “The Case for Christ” (a great book, by the way), the author tells about his daughter being so sick and him praying to God to make her better (even though he was an atheist at the time, he was desperate). Well, the daughter did get better. And in that minute, he had the choice to believe God answered his prayers or it was just a coincidence.
In my opinion (for what it’s worth), God doesn’t usually come down in all blazing glory in a way that’s undeniable. Instead, He gives us hundreds of little opportunities that could be explained either way. So if we want to believe, the evidence is there for anyone willing to check it out. But if you’d rather not, then God isn’t going to force you to believe.
And of course I don’t JUST mean evidence like things that really could just be coincidences (personally, I think a lot of things ARE just coincidences…), but I do think we have a choice of what we pursue and what we engage with, and that often leads to a change in perspective and belief.
Does that make sense?
I absolutely have no problem with what ppl believe in, it’s their choice. However, I have a question. How can you choose to not believe in something that you believe doesn’t exist in the first place? This is something I’ve been wondering that’s all. Have a great day!
i think it is important to remember that even those of us who are not in unequally yoked marriages have many disagreements…often. we have to be honest with each other. we have to compromise. i say this because i sometimes find that women in this situation sometimes assume that our marriages are carefree. it isn’t the case. we all have our areas of brokenness. GOD will give you the grace you need to grow in your situation just as He does for us in our situations. That passage in I Peter is very powerful and is true for all of us. we all need to learn to live out our faith and talk less! just sayin’. some of my favorite godly woman friends are those who have been in unequal marriages. one in particular is married to a very difficult man. they were both non christians when they married. they have one son who has grown up to be a very godly man. her husband knows he doesn’t have faith but wanted it for his son. he was influenced by godly men in his churches, went to christian schools and is a godly leader in his home. GOD isn’t limited by difficult marriages. He uses them to grow us to be more like HIm.
Very true! Unequally yoked marriages just happens to be the topic of THIS article. I have another article on the topic of disagreements in Christian marriages here: https://equippinggodlywomen.com/marriage/husband-makes-decisions-you-dont-agree-with/ 🙂
I too suffer from an unequally yoked marriage. I grew up in the church so the foundation has always been there for me. My now wife of ten yrs only started going when we started dating many yrs ago. We’ve rebounded from some dark moments which involved me being tempted by another woman who took advantage of my circumstances. Im in no way saying I wasn’t to blame also in this area of sin. I learned a lot about myself through this and have continued to grow in Christ! The problem is internally on a spiritual level I feel no connection whatsoever to my wife. So much so, to the point I often feel like she’s not needed. Meaning outside of material things ie grocery shopping and cooking, which I can do on my own if I wanted to. I don’t feel she completes me in any way. I feel like she’s only going through the motions when it comes to church. I feel she’s completely happy with only going so far in Christ, but internally I’m ready to explode for Christ. Intamacy sometimes feels like I’ve done something wrong because I never experience that heavenly unity. It’s like I’m going through the motions because I have to I guess. I’ve tried to explain how I feel for years in many different ways but she always makes it out like I’m telling her she’s never going to be good enough. All the while, I just want her to understand internally we’re just not connected. I really don’t think she cares as long as she’s getting her everyday needs met in any area. I’m not saying I’m perfect but I do try to follow my instructions as a husband. I feel internally enslaved because I think she knows the game she’s playing. She recently asked about renewing our vows and I am not on board with it. She even asked me to pray about it! I’m not sure married couples should have to pray about renewing their vows, do they!? I thought it was a no brainer for those happily married. This leads me to believe she knows I’m not happy but still insists on renewing our vows. Knowing the things I know now as I’ve grown I would not marry her again or go through the motions of doing so. My prayer and desire is to be with a wife who is on fire for Christ and has no problem or hesitation to ride with me to the promise Land with Christ. Getting married was never on my list of things to do but God placed me here and I’m all in until the end. I just want someone to be there with me. Not someone who is just riding out the gravy train for personal happiness at my expense.
Honestly, from just what you’ve written here, I have to take your wife’s side on this. Yes, I know it stinks that your wife isn’t as “on fire” as you, however, God does not give us perfect spouses. He gives us spouses who test our patience and try us and help us grow through our interactions with them. Yes, you are a Christian and you should want to grow in faith, BUT it is also your duty as a husband to love your wife, and it doesn’t sound like you are really doing that. You say you’re not happy, that you don’t need her… well, marriage is hard work. That doesn’t mean you call it quits, resort to just going through the motions or go after someone better. It means it’s your job as the husband to pursue your wife, romance her, date her, and fall in love with her all over again.
Marriage is supposed to be a picture of Christ and the church. Jesus didn’t wait until we were “good enough” or “on fire enough.” He loved us in our sin and brokenness FIRST, and then out of that, he heals us and redeems us and restores us. Just as we are.
I hope this isn’t coming across as too harsh, but hopefully a good wake-up call. Honestly, my best advice to you is to go LOVE your wife. Just as she is. Love her. Cherish her. Honor her. Serve her. (All of which are great ways to grow in faith, by the way.)
As the non-Catholic wife of a wonderful Catholic man, I can tell you that reading books and going to church is nice and all, but it’s been the day-to-day example my husband has faithfully walked out every day that has taught me the most about God and His love for us. I can understand and love God SO much more now because I have a real-life example living with me at home. He’s not perfect, but he doesn’t expect me to be either. He truly LOVES me, I know it, I can feel it, I can trust it — and that helps me feel all of those things toward God as well.
You can be those things to your wife as well. In fact, you are called to. And that’s both a great honor and a big responsibility. Are you up for it?
Hi Brittany and thank you so much for your response! I would first like to apologise for my choice of wording in my previous post. That just goes to show how critical words can be. The last thing I wanted to convey is that I don’t love my wife for who she is and that I need a new one. I’ve know my wife for 20 years and we have 3 BEAUTIFUL children that I also love dearly. Jesus dying on the cross for my sins requires me not only to love my wife but everyone including my enimies. So yes, I love and treat my wife with the utmost respect. I’m literally a second mom and those that know me wish me Happy Mother’s day when it rolls around. I’m very involved and my wife can 100 percent count on me.
To simplify my situation, I chose my wife. God did not choose my wife. There are extreme differences in the two. We’re all imperfect human beings which is why we need and depend on our Lord and Savior daily. So to expect a perfect mate in this life would be unrealistic. You are completely correct when you say marriage should be a resemblance of Christ. This is more evident when God chooses your mate. God is perfect in every way and will only place you with someone who meets and grows your inner spiritual needs. This Godly connection should be evident before marriage, then solidified with marriage. When God puts two together I don’t see how anything can be challenging because you both understand and lean on Christ that joined you together. However, if you choose your mate you void that benefit. Now of course there’s miracles of faith that shouldn’t go unnoticed here. Now if you can look in the mirror and honestly say God sent you your mate, which it sounds as though he has, then that’s great and I pray many blessings for you and yours for many years to come!
But because I chose my mate my inner spiritual needs are neglected in my marriage. My reaility after 20 years of knowing my wife is that she cannot meet those needs. I still love her as though she can because I know that I should. Thanks and God bless!
Perhaps she can’t meet all of your needs — but who says she was meant to? That seems like an awfully big weight to put on her. In the very least, it’s a good reason for you to learn to rely on God even more (which is a good thing!) Are you involved in any men’s groups at your church or in your area? Your wife isn’t meant to be your leader anyways, so your faith really shouldn’t be dependent on her (although of course a Godly wife does help, you aren’t out of luck without one!)
And furthermore, what if God DID give you to her to show her what God is like? To show that Christianity isn’t the misconceptions she believes, but that it can be so much more? To reach her in ways that no one else could? He could have given her an atheist husband. Instead, he gave her a loving Christian husband who wants to do the right thing. Even if your marriage wasn’t His first choice, the Bible says God works ALL things out for the good of those who love him. Including your marriage — but only if you play on His terms.
It just seems like you believe she is holding you back or hindering you from growing in faith, when it seems like this exact situation could also be the very thing that draws you deeper in faith, if you would focus more on Jesus and how he provides, rather than how your wife is seemingly lacking…. Just a thought 🙂
I have a hard time settling with the idea of God giving you a mate who doesn’t meet all of your needs. Why be married in the first place? I do feel that a husband and wife should be able to meet up as one in Christ and I do not feel that exchange internally, so no I don’t feel I’m asking too much in exchange for the rest of my life. I’m not saying you’re wrong either. However, God is perfect in every way. God’s love renews each day when married, which enables couples to extend their marriages until the end. Without him it doesn’t last. The wife is to be the help only, so I absolutely do not expect her to be the head because that’s not her job. And yes my journey thus far has only trained me to rely solely on him and he’s been extremely good to me and definitely our children. So I’m extremely grateful to say the least.
I do agree with my wife being in my life for a reason. I believe that with regards to anyone you cross paths with in life.
She did not attend church until we started dating, so yes what you suggest here is possible. I also DO NOT EVER investigate my wife’s relationship with God because it’s none of my business. Personal events in MY life has caused me to seek him more which put me in this moment. The more I personally grow in him the more I desire to be able to share it with my wife. That’s really all I want. I’m not looking to change anyone, that’s God’s job. I feel like that’s what marriage is all about. I don’t really want to convey the message that my wife is holding me back because I feel God’s will and plan for our lives is more powerful than you and I. But, I do feel if God came to us and said, “Come, go with me”. Sadly I believe my wife would have to think about it or find excuses. Twenty years of speak verses actual action has led me to this conclusion. I will continue to seek his face for the answers, but in the end I ONLY want what he has for me because he knows me better than I know myself. Yes I have also been apart of small groups that our church offers and I’ve been on mens retreats.
Hi, I am in a similar circumstance as Jon, except I don’t believe my wife really knows God at all. It’s a bit murky. Thanks so much for this page. I wish I could meet some of you and discuss. I wish there was a group of this sort somewhere so that I could talk with others in person. It is an extremely difficult thing to deal with, and it’s not a path I chose,
I am in an unequally yoked marriage. We have one 2 year old son together. I went through a very rough time of postpartum depression without medication, I am better now, and take my medication everyday. Just as things seemed to be getting better my husband told me he was not in love with me anymore and left two weeks ago. Since then we have talked, but the mutual respect is not there. I have read 1 Cor 7:10-16 many times, and I am still researching. He claims he was saved about three years ago now, but he has never publicly professed this. He has no desire to come to church, but he doesn’t keep me or our son from attending. Although he is very controlling in other ways, such as, money, and demanding of time (he wants time alone, needs nap time, things of this nature). I know through scripture I should not feel guilty for I am now free, but he now wants to try and reconcile, although he has no biblical desires. I’m at a loss. I’m confused, I want to stay biblical, but I also want to do what is best for my son.
What a tough situation! And you’re right, except there’s one small detail I think you may be overlooking. By “reconcile” — that should include actually being repentant for sin in his life, wanting to make things right, etc. If all he actually wants is just to stay married but not walk the Christian lifestyle, then I don’t know that you’re still bound by that. Obviously I don’t know your situation and I don’t want to give you advice either way without really knowing you both, but my initial thought is that he isn’t actually repentant. He’s still walking away. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this!
Also — I have this article as well that may help more: https://equippinggodlywomen.com/marriage/is-divorce-ever-okay/
I found this to be so helpful. My husband and I have only been married a little over a year and a half and we were both Christians when we married. In fact he was a Holy Ghost filled preacher and claimed he had been called since the age of four. Well recently he came out as Muslim and it all happened so fast and I was scared on how to handle it. My father wanted me to leave him but others said to stay and pray. I thought of the Bible verse about not being unequally yoked and prior to reading this article I thought I had to make a decision on whether I was leaving. This is the toughest situation we have faced yet but I am so glad I read this article. It gave me clarity and better understanding on how to somewhat be able to cope with our situation.