25 Ways to Speak Your Spouse’s Love Language

🌺  Written by Brittany Ann

25 ways to speak your spouse's love language

Have you ever read The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman? I’m guessing that you probably have. The book was so popular a few years ago that the author went on to publish several additional versions including The 5 Love Languages of Children, The 5 Love Languages Military Edition,
and The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace.


*Thanks to 365tests.com for sponsoring this post. This post also contains affiliate links. Please see my full disclosure statement for details. 


In The 5 Love Languages, Chapman explains that people generally best receive love in one of five ways:

  • Words of Encouragement
  • Acts of Service
  • Quality Time
  • Physical Touch
  • Gift Giving


Now, it is possible to favor more than one way, but Chapman’s general idea is that most people prefer certain ways of showing and receiving love over the others.


*Related: 24 Ways to Build Your Husband Up



So, What’s Your Love Language?


For some people, figuring out their love language is pretty easy. You can just look at the options and know “Yes! That’s what makes me feel loved” or “Meh… I don’t care about that one so much…”

For others, though, figuring it out can be a little more tricky–especially if you’ve never thought about it before.


 25 Ways to Speak Your Spouse's Love Language

If you aren’t sure what your love language is or you’d like to figure out what your spouse’s love language is, you can find out by taking this fun love language quiz by 365tests.com. I took it and it was spot on.

(By the way, it’s free, you don’t have to give an email address, and you get your results right away–all wins in my book). 


Discover Your Love Language Now


Why Your Love Language Matters


Of course, while finding out your love language is interesting (who doesn’t like quizzes??), the real reason you should know yours (and your spouse’s) is because it can help your marriage as well. It’s true. (And who wouldn’t want to help make their marriage exciting again?)

By figuring out the what your spouse’s love language is, you can stop focusing so much on tasks that he doesn’t appreciate so much and start focusing more on tasks that he does.


For example, I love quality time (attention!) and physical touch, but I really don’t care about gifts that much. So, for me, when my husband asks me about blogging or we snuggle up to sleep at night, I feel very loved. But when people send me birthday cards, I recycle them almost immediately. (Sorry! I do!)


If your spouse’s love languages are the same as yours–you probably have it pretty easy. You probably naturally do the things that most make your spouse feel loved.

But if your spouse’s love languages are different than yours, you have to try a little harder. Instead of doing the things that come most naturally to you, you might have to step out of your comfort zone a bit to do things that don’t mean much to you–but that mean the world to him.


Not sure how to speak your spouse’s love language? Here are some ideas!


Words of Encouragement


1. Tell your spouse you love him.

2. Congratulate him on his accomplishments–get specific!

3. Praise his best qualities (especially in front of other people).

4. Thank your spouse for working hard for your family.

5.  Tell him you still find him sexy after all these years.


Acts of Service


1. Cook his favorite dinner.

2. Take the kids shopping so he can enjoy some peace and quiet.

3. Make sure the house is all clean before he comes home.

4. Take his car for an oil change.

5. Help him find things he’s lost.


*See Also: 5 Powerful Prayers Every Wife Should Pray Over Her Husband


Quality Time


1. Stop multi-tasking and give him your full attention. Have a great conversation!

2. Watch football together (or whatever sport he likes).

3. Run your errands together.

4. Have a regular date night. It can be hard to find time for romance when your children are little but here are some great ideas.

5. Eat dinner together with the TV off.


Physical Touch


1. Kiss him before he leaves for work.

2. Give him a massage.

3. Hold hands while driving.

4. Snuggle on the couch to watch a movie.

5. Randomly grab his butt when you walk by him.


*Related: 5 Christian Sex Tips for a Stronger, Healthier Marriage


Gift Giving


1. Buy him a card “just because.”

2. Buy him his favorite snacks from the grocery store.

3. Buy him a tool or gadget he’s had his eye on.

4. Never forget his birthday, anniversary, Valentine’s Day or other gift-giving occasion.

5. Bring him a souvenir anytime you take a trip.


This isn’t to say that we can’t all appreciate anything from this list. But when you love your spouse according to his love language, your love gets through that much more!


What is your love language? What is your spouse’s love language? Are they the same or different?



For more information about love languages and how to love your spouse in a way that they will best respond to, be sure to check out The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman on Amazon!

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  1. This is an encouraging post, Brittany. I’m pinning this and tweeting it too! I so need the reminder to focus on getting out of MY comfort zone to communicate love to my spouse in a way that’s meaningful to him. His love languages are acts of service and words of affirmation, and I’m not so great at service! Mine is quality time.

    1. Oooh, different ones, huh? That makes it more difficult! It’s good that you know what both of yours are though! And now you have some more ideas for loving him best 🙂

    1. Thanks, Lydia! I really appreciate that. And good to know that I’m not the only one who recycles them right away. I feel bad, but… what else am I goign to do with them? lol. Is it bad that I don’t know?

  2. I loved this book. We just listened to this on audiobook a few weeks ago when we took a long car trip, but we also own the book.

    Unfortunately, we speak different love languages. I am Quality Time/Acts of Service, he is Physical Touch/Quality Time. Luckily we share the QT, but I have realized you really need to make the effort to speak to them in their primary language!

    Physical touch is actually the absolute lowest on mine, so it has been a real challenge that has caused problems. However, I am hoping I can be the best significant other as I can be with prayer and determination!

    1. Oooh, that’s hard when his highest is your lowest! I’m very thankful my husband and I have the sames ones–but even that can be hard because we don’t always express them in the same ways!

  3. GREAT ideas for meeting your spouse where he needs it most, especially as we head into the New Year. You were one of the top posts last week at the Saturday Soiree Blog Party and you’re featured this week! Thank you so much for sharing your heart with us and I hope you’ll stop by again this week!

    1. Really? Awesome! Your link-up happens at a convenient time for me–I’m usually online when I get your email 🙂 Thanks so much, I’ll be sure to swing by later tonight!

  4. Pingback: Recommended Resources for Marriage -
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